David Letterman
Leapt to my desk like a cat
Showed me his ding dong
by Meow
Don't use mobile app
Online deposit function
Sperm on iPad screen
by Ralph Nader of Far Out
Hey, Look out below...
If we still used chamber pots
And had good manners
by Person who pees in office coffee pot of Near the Coffee Carafe
Invent something, dude
Rubic's Haikube or board game
Mow some lawns, paper route
by Path to Riches
Don't let others help.
They only get in the way.
Be your own boss-man.
All year long you will
be employee of the month.
But there's a downside.
Masturbation is
workplace sexual assault
when you're self-employed.
Own your own sperm bank.
Self-enjoyed is self-employed.
Deposit withdrawals.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Think about it
African American
Elon Musk is one
by Food For Thought of Meatspace
old t shirt for sale
on email website, the quiet
bookstore nook i found
still exists...goodbye
malfunctioning internet world
hello meat space again
by vhs
this had better work
lord vader... we are risking
much with this gamble...
by vhs
things aren't working
like I'd like because i let
others help me out
by vhs
disgust, fear, anger
frustration, demonstrations
rhetoric
by vhs
Haikupotamous
Plugged up Snuffleupagus
Giant Enema
by Anonymous Poet
Wringing my hands now
How could God let this happen
Why is He so mean?
by Creeped out of Not in Church
Neanderthal child
Sesame Street on Lockdown
Big Bird ate the kid
by Roving Reporter John Boy Walton's mole of John Boy Walton's face
Just ate a burger
I figure nothing to lose
Morgellons. It's Hell
by A living Hell of Disease
I want hamburgers.
I know, beef is bad for you.
As bad as Thai whores?
Raw, bloody, with AIDS,
and addicted to strange drugs.
The cows, not the whores.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I would be jailed there
My feet are very ugly
They don't smell bad though
by Anonymous Poet
What I liked best was
the stir-fried insects, but don't
buy from street vendors.
Too much MSG.
I like my bugs natural.
Honest bug dealer.
heh heh...
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Leaving wife and kids?
Gautauma Sidhartha would
know all about that.
He whored around too.
Said he was under a tree.
They believed that shit!
Say that in Thailand
and you'll spend life in prison.
Fucking religion.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Bite the monkeys back.
Your responsibility.
You have to teach them.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A whiz with numbers
Born with eleven fingers
That's just on one hand
by Human Calculator
Old Mr. Fritzl
Enjoyed Thailand Vacation
Left the family home
by Dungeons and Daughters Enthusiasts
I have a webbed ass
The crack starts. Stops. Starts again.
Thank you for your time
by Slightly Webbed Ass Cracks of PNW
The biting monkeys
Attacked them on Thailand trip
Extended Vacay
by For course of rabies shots of Monkey business
Haiku of Hardware
Refrigerators
More bad refrigerators
Refrigerator
by Johny Johny of Texas
One Mississipi
Two Mississipi rivers
Three Mississipi
(Haiku of Waiting)
by Johny Johny of Texas
Poems are weird
Haikus are way weirder than-
Limited syllab-
by Johny Johny of Texas
Been to Thailand twice.
The sex and the food are great.
I recommend it.
by df
They stopped for Funyuns
Shared impulse to rob the store
Clerk tied to a chair
by Anonymous Poet
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Autumn Goose Festival Time
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
by Starkitten
Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?
by Anonymous Poet
The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.
Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.
Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.
Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!
Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch
by Anonymous Poet
Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once
by Wanker
Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert
by Anonymous Poet
Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue
by Toxic
Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians
by Dung smokers
Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
They oft eat sea food,
retaining much mercury,
dulling their IQ.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hannibal Lecter's
in the mood for a rude dude
to become fine food.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Promiscuity.
Puerile penile projectile. ~o ~o
Prematurity.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's customary
Vomit in your dinner plate
When finished dining
by Show gratitude to chef
Empty Rice Bowl Mind
Clear night for remote viewing
You'll get a stiff neck
by You should sit up straight
I have a bunch of small cuts
All over my hands and I'm worried
I'll get staph or MRSA
by Simpleton
The server at the Chinese food place
Is extremely flamboyant
Therefore I distrust him immensely
by Simpleton
Why aren't plastic goods
Made to be compostable?
It's like pollution is intentional
by Simpleton
When Hollywood goes full retard
They will begin to make remakes
Of their previous remakes
by Simpleton
Have you ever asked someone
How their day is going and then
Accidentally ask them again?
by Simpleton
This site is strange
I don't know what a haiku is
Or how I got here
by Simpleton
