And chops off the cock
of Starkitten the Noisy,
Destroyer of Words.

Ooooo, I love that book!
Conan the librarian!
She conquers ten books!

Library so quiet
All patrons are behaving
You can hear pin drop

If your cock falls off
and no feminists hear it
did it sill fall off?

Gems sparkle at night
Some gems are worthless garbage
Some gems are dumb glass

Long Pig food kiosk.
Cloned human flesh at low price!
Penis on a stick.

Boat rocks under me
Waves hit the land: tsunami !
Nice sea-shells on shore

Thai food is the best.
Filippino food sucks ass.
Balut eggs are gross!

I shouldn't ask this.
Is it wrong to eat children?
So fat and juicy.

Asian food is bad
I don't like egg in my food
Disgusting raw fish

He got an implant.
Penis version two point oh.
Comes with Windows 10.

Mooncakes taste so good
They are full of nasty eggs
Lava-lamp feel hot

Broke the piñata
With his "Louisville Slugger"
Werthers Avalanche!

But "they" weren't hiding.
Grandpa was the one hiding.
With a big boner.

In addition they
also gave him three hookers
and 10 grams of coke.

He used to smoke crack.
But that was back in the day.
Now it was plain coke.

How can hillbillies
afford to buy so much coke?
That's a good question.

The perfect surprise
When they came out of hiding
"Happy Birthday, Gramps!"

He climbed down into
the outhouse shithole so he
could see vagina.

Grandpa Ciderpants
Pressed for time. He's all business.
Sprint to the outhouse.

That's not good for you.
You might catch H I Voo Doo.
Or the blue waffles.

Do not write haiku.
You'll become gay if you do.
Then you might pound poo.

Confabulation?
It's an abombination:
Infibulation.

I got angry enough
to turn this off one time
and watch something die

I would let it die
and let it go, just spasm
a few more times then

look, I'm busy in
real life, I'm not as old as
you with the time there

if you keep it up
I might quite altogether
say fuck it and out

of real life fear just
delete everything and
break my laptop here

or annoyance I'm not sure

NOTEBOOK PAPER (SLAM!!)
WRITE SOME COCK A DOODY HAIKU
YOU DIRTY BIRDIES!!

Quiet as Jonestown here
A sea of tossed plastic cups
Drank Bad Haikul-Aid?

I figured it out
You have to sit still longer
To write the poems

Haiku good for Earth
Less trees wasted on poems
More toilet paper

Bad Haiku like farts.
Essential. Pure Distilled oil.
Poem: Toilet coil

Used to date poet
Tried to kill himself with pills
He had tiny feet

What, no poets here?
You ALL fail to pass the test.
Haiku fails you now.

Now, back to those clits:
Crying out for their owners
in Somalia . . .

I am sick of sex
(not the deed--but as Haiku).
I want POETRY!

We're true gentlemen
Just look at Mr. Seahorse!
Carrying babies

Mummified Penis
Reminds me of O. Henry
Gift of the Magi

She kept it secret
Had her cunt sewed shut for you
...something's in my eye

Octopus Garden
Undersea.. um.. " Shrivelry "
To the Bathysphere!!

Male octopi
will give their penis to their
mate for sex and snack.

I'd like to do that.
Would beat dealing with my wife.
Thinking about it.

Should I mummify
my shlong and present it as
a holiday gift?

And Van Gogh thought he
was so fucking romantic.
I think cocks beat ears.

Question for the boys
When an Octopus jerks off
Grab dink with 8 arms?

Bring your French Tickler
I'll be waiting at airport
Captain Feathersword

Henry Octopus
Fruit Salad..Mashed banana
Cephalopod Porn

The Church, The Wiggles
Two great bands from Down Under
Nudge Nudge and wink wink

Your Haiku is large
Try low mileage vaginas
Ask for Starkitten

Harrumph to you, good sir!
Harrumph, I say!

You should not sniff ass.
It is disgusting and wrong.
That is what dogs do.

I must hypothesize that Don Hertzfeldt's spoon and banana were symbols of a penis and vagina. Though no one would typically eat a banana with a spoon unless the banana was in cereal or perhaps mashed into some kind of dessert but I have heard sex referred to as "mashing" that pussy, so maybe the mashed banana was referring to a vagina needing to be mashed by a large penis.

My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big.
You can feel the frustration of having a penis that is too large and no woman would want it.
But then along comes the giant walking banana.
I am a banana.
And everything is set right with the world. The giant walking banana can be mashed and eaten by the giant spoon. Or the enormous gaping snatch finally finds a penis worthy of its incredibly wide diameter.

Our library card?
Why, yes. It's pink and quite hard
I'll check your pocket

Starkitten Movie
Starring James Caannilingus
Cumming soon near you!

Once upon a squirt
Cunnilingus in a yurt
A bedtime haiku

Sun has set here on
Bad Haiku - good night good night
Wake up less evil

Gardening at night
Grab it by the stipe
Phallic Murshroom Hunt

Babylon a FALL.
Babylon shall not prevail.
JAH Rasta soon come . . .

When my Celia walks
your mama loses her shit.
Celia rules. You lose.