BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
16 Days
and
68939 Haikus
later...
When my Celia walks
your mama loses her shit.
Celia rules. You lose.
Haiku #59568, by forswearing the beauty of Celia, you seal your doom.
September 21, 2018 5:52 pm ET

Forget libraries.
We're talking about rebirth.
Can't you just wake up?
Haiku #59567, by waking up, you increase the probability of a better future
September 21, 2018 5:46 pm ET

Calling all bookworms
Do-Me Decimal System
Put to good use here
Haiku #59566, by Starkitten Extra Friendly Librarian of No Jacket or pants required
September 21, 2018 5:34 pm ET

Alpha Centauri
Beta masquerading cuck
Cut his balls off. NOW.
Haiku #59565, by calling out the cucks, there is hope of national rebirth
September 21, 2018 5:29 pm ET

Don't you dare touch my
Celia - or I'll have to
Dissolve your ego
Haiku #59564, by Fun Guy of Mush Room
September 21, 2018 5:21 pm ET

Outstanding in field
The centaur of attention
Named to Hall of Oats
Haiku #59563, by Starkitten of Magic Gate
September 21, 2018 5:14 pm ET

Slip it in your slot?
After all, it's overdue.
In library? Fine . . .
Haiku #59562, by the bated breath of a bibliophile
September 21, 2018 4:31 pm ET

Wild horse meets tame horse
And notices the rider
Quite an expression
Haiku #59561, by Sign of Sagittarius
September 21, 2018 4:26 pm ET

Hectic day again
Self employed Librarian
Try my new book slot
Haiku #59560, by Starkitten Order of Moist and Smiling Librarians of Cunnilingus Nook of the Pacific Northwest
September 21, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Come on, walk right through
Starkitten expecting you
Law of Bad Haiku
Haiku #59559, by Starkitten
September 21, 2018 4:11 pm ET

Hood of your car, Babe
Drive through a crowd. New Year's Eve.
Show them your Dick Clark
Haiku #59558, by Starkitten
September 21, 2018 2:45 pm ET

Geriatric stunt
Spelunking in Grandma's Cunt
Fallen. Can't get up.
Haiku #59557, by Staritten of Retirement Home for Aged Haiku Poets
September 21, 2018 2:10 pm ET

Punch the juke box,Fonz
Happy Days are here again!
Drive In Circle Jerk!!
Haiku #59556, by Starkitten
September 21, 2018 2:07 pm ET

Ocean Getaway
Buried in sand. Head sticking out.
FREAKING LITTERBOX!!
Haiku #59555, by Starkitten and friends
September 21, 2018 2:01 pm ET

Don't be embarrassed
Pull your pants down now, my friend
Best haiku is short
Haiku #59554, by CeilingCat of Look up when you're pulling taffy
September 21, 2018 1:55 pm ET

Submit to me now.
Submit to my bad Haiku.
Go on. Just DO IT
Haiku #59553, by bytes of bituminous binging
September 21, 2018 12:52 pm ET

Yeah, But HILLARY !
Come on, you know; Dame Clinton.
The one with that . . . thing.
Haiku #59552, by bybybybybybybybyby of bye bye
September 21, 2018 12:46 pm ET

Pop'n Fresh cutie
Cornered him in the pantry
Hardcore Doughgasm
Haiku #59551, by Starkitten
September 21, 2018 12:39 pm ET

Starkitten's moist book;
not sure I wanna read it.
Is it legible?
Haiku #59550, by by teasing librarians, we read more of what motivates them
September 21, 2018 12:32 pm ET

By you reading this
Proof you had sex with him:
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku #59549, by Earl Hamner of Walton's Mountain
September 21, 2018 12:27 pm ET

Esteemed Starkitten:
Can you do another one
about Hillary?
Haiku #59548, by by Miss Amerikan Pie of One-World Technocracy
September 21, 2018 12:25 pm ET

Slept through the orgy
Making up for lost time now
Bad Haikugasm
Haiku #59547, by Starkitten of Order of Mostly Moist Librarians
September 21, 2018 12:23 pm ET

Compulsive Haiku:
Ephemeral poetry
Tossed into the void
Haiku #59546, by your reading this, I am assured of immortality
September 21, 2018 12:20 pm ET

Gynecologist
Face Plant. Tuna Casserole.
Worked straight through lunch
Haiku #59545, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
September 21, 2018 12:18 pm ET

Hey, I jacked off, I don't know about the rest of you.... do we need to coordinate it? How about noon tomorrow, EST. Is that good for everyone?
Haiku #59544, by df
September 21, 2018 12:15 pm ET

Give me more info.
Write a creative by-line.
Then I'll know it's you!
Haiku #59543, by Senryu Seppuku of Nagashima
September 21, 2018 12:15 pm ET

If you're bored with porn.
Why not try a prostitute?
What is there to lose?

Well, yeah, there's money.
And you could get HIV.
It beats suicide.

Go on, blow some cash.
Go crazy, live a little.
You might just like her.

Read her your poems.
Show her bad haiku dot com.
Go on, we're waiting.
Haiku #59542, by
September 21, 2018 12:14 pm ET

So . . . that circle jerk;
what happened to it, poets;
Did your muses leave?
Haiku #59541, by the time you realize you are full of shit, it is too late
September 21, 2018 12:11 pm ET

What's the worse part about safe sex?
Stopping to click the mouse.
...And a sticky keyboard if you're not careful.
Haiku #59540, by
September 21, 2018 12:09 pm ET

Do not waste your life.
Drive your car into a crowd.
Claim you were possessed.

Seek resolution
on Oprah or some talk show.
You will be famous.
Haiku #59539, by
September 21, 2018 12:07 pm ET

That craving for porn;
say you don't ever get it
and I say you lie.
Haiku #59538, by performing amateur gynecology, the love of porn is not diminished
September 21, 2018 9:17 am ET

The Sabaeans or Sabeans (Arabic: اَلـسَّـبَـئِـيُّـون‎, as-Saba
Haiku #59537, by Wikipedia, which is full of conjecture
September 21, 2018 9:14 am ET

i could off myself
in real life, no more porn or
haiku from me, so

i think ill stick around even though i feel
bad today ive menial work to do
Haiku #59536, by vhs of fuck it
September 21, 2018 9:11 am ET

The Queen of Sheba
must have had a clitoris.
Or was she Muslim?
Haiku #59535, by the dry riverbeds of Southern Yemen
September 21, 2018 9:08 am ET

You ever had hope?
I mean... how naive are you?
All species die; ours too.

Extinction is good.
It is all God's perfect plan.
blah blah blah blah blah.
Haiku #59534, by
September 21, 2018 9:05 am ET

Did Allah tell you
To sew their vaginas shut?
Hell rises with you.
Haiku #59533, by informing yourself of the truth, you become no wiser
September 21, 2018 9:00 am ET

Nomadic faces:
Somali girls with no clits
infibulated
Haiku #59532, by sewing it shut, the risk of later health concerns increases
September 21, 2018 8:36 am ET

United States of
brainwashed by MSN News,
Go to hell forthwith.
Haiku #59531, by ignoring His law, nations come under the wrath of Almighty God
September 21, 2018 8:27 am ET

There are some nations
that seem truly to be cursed.
Can you name any?
Haiku #59530, by titling the documentary "A Cursed Land", France 24 made me think of this sad reality.
September 21, 2018 8:22 am ET

South Sudan at war:
Cattle rustling, burning huts
Flies on corpses. God.
Haiku #59529, by watching documentaries, one loses the hope of progress for mankind
September 21, 2018 8:17 am ET

I'll start this one off.
Online poets' circle jerk.
SK can finish.

Let's get those pants down.
We got your back, vhs.
We believe in you.

And... stroke 1, 2, 3.
stroke 1, 2, 3; 1, 2, 3.
Uh, oh. That was fast.

How embarrassing.
Em bare ass ing... or something.
Now where's the Kleenex.
Haiku #59528, by df
September 21, 2018 7:45 am ET

Just go masturbate.
You'll feel better afterwards.
Beats writing haiku.
Haiku #59527, by df
September 21, 2018 7:38 am ET

Inherit the wind
A fortune of flatulance
Methane Millionaire

Write bestselling book
Sign autographs with fart stains!
Back End Billionaire
Haiku #59526, by Starkitten of On the run
September 21, 2018 2:33 am ET

i wish i were in
the frame of mind to actually
be funny right now
Haiku #59525, by vhs
September 20, 2018 11:40 pm ET

The sex was hot but
Always laying on the couch
Scratching his ink sack
Haiku #59524, by On the one hand it was good but on the other 7.....
September 20, 2018 11:22 pm ET

Y'know, I can't name
a single modern poet.
Quite comical, yes?
Haiku #59523, by
September 20, 2018 10:48 pm ET

Oh fucking hell no.
Tell me we're not back to this.
Cephalopod porn.

But considering
that haiku are Japanese,
I guess it makes sense.
Haiku #59522, by
September 20, 2018 10:44 pm ET

Good night vhs
Good night John Boy Walton's mole
Good night James Caan's face
Haiku #59521, by Nettikrats
September 20, 2018 10:44 pm ET

Good old Abel got
A pretty sweet deal - at rest
Under the water

Something something cryptosporidium
Haiku #59520, by Adam Ben Adam of nightly burnt offerings
September 20, 2018 10:41 pm ET

They gave Ecstasy
To octopi and didn't
Even invite me
Haiku #59519, by Sparklepony, MD
September 20, 2018 10:33 pm ET