Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 19 Days and 74079 Haikus later...

Your Haiku is large
Try low mileage vaginas
Ask for Starkitten
Haiku # 59578, September 21, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Pacific Northwest Low Mileage Vaginas of Under the Milky Way Tonight
Harrumph to you, good sir!
Harrumph, I say!
Haiku # 59577, September 21, 2018 11:23 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Esq.
You should not sniff ass.
It is disgusting and wrong.
That is what dogs do.
Haiku # 59576, September 21, 2018 10:56 pm ET
by df
I must hypothesize that Don Hertzfeldt's spoon and banana were symbols of a penis and vagina. Though no one would typically eat a banana with a spoon unless the banana was in cereal or perhaps mashed into some kind of dessert but I have heard sex referred to as "mashing" that pussy, so maybe the mashed banana was referring to a vagina needing to be mashed by a large penis.

My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big. My spoon is too big.
You can feel the frustration of having a penis that is too large and no woman would want it.
But then along comes the giant walking banana.
I am a banana.
And everything is set right with the world. The giant walking banana can be mashed and eaten by the giant spoon. Or the enormous gaping snatch finally finds a penis worthy of its incredibly wide diameter.
Haiku # 59575, September 21, 2018 10:55 pm ET
by df
Our library card?
Why, yes. It's pink and quite hard
I'll check your pocket
Haiku # 59574, September 21, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by Starkitten Very helpful librarian
Starkitten Movie
Starring James Caannilingus
Cumming soon near you!
Haiku # 59573, September 21, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Starkitten of Director's Chair
Once upon a squirt
Cunnilingus in a yurt
A bedtime haiku
Haiku # 59572, September 21, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by Starkitten of Library of Moisture
Sun has set here on
Bad Haiku - good night good night
Wake up less evil
Haiku # 59571, September 21, 2018 6:50 pm ET
by Sparklepony, MD
Gardening at night
Grab it by the stipe
Phallic Murshroom Hunt
Haiku # 59570, September 21, 2018 6:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Babylon a FALL.
Babylon shall not prevail.
JAH Rasta soon come . . .
Haiku # 59569, September 21, 2018 5:59 pm ET
by the rivers of Babylon kiss my ass
When my Celia walks
your mama loses her shit.
Celia rules. You lose.
Haiku # 59568, September 21, 2018 5:52 pm ET
by forswearing the beauty of Celia, you seal your doom.
Forget libraries.
We're talking about rebirth.
Can't you just wake up?
Haiku # 59567, September 21, 2018 5:46 pm ET
by waking up, you increase the probability of a better future
Calling all bookworms
Do-Me Decimal System
Put to good use here
Haiku # 59566, September 21, 2018 5:34 pm ET
by Starkitten Extra Friendly Librarian of No Jacket or pants required
Alpha Centauri
Beta masquerading cuck
Cut his balls off. NOW.
Haiku # 59565, September 21, 2018 5:29 pm ET
by calling out the cucks, there is hope of national rebirth
Don't you dare touch my
Celia - or I'll have to
Dissolve your ego
Haiku # 59564, September 21, 2018 5:21 pm ET
by Fun Guy of Mush Room
Outstanding in field
The centaur of attention
Named to Hall of Oats
Haiku # 59563, September 21, 2018 5:14 pm ET
by Starkitten of Magic Gate
Slip it in your slot?
After all, it's overdue.
In library? Fine . . .
Haiku # 59562, September 21, 2018 4:31 pm ET
by the bated breath of a bibliophile
Wild horse meets tame horse
And notices the rider
Quite an expression
Haiku # 59561, September 21, 2018 4:26 pm ET
by Sign of Sagittarius
Hectic day again
Self employed Librarian
Try my new book slot
Haiku # 59560, September 21, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Starkitten Order of Moist and Smiling Librarians of Cunnilingus Nook of the Pacific Northwest
Come on, walk right through
Starkitten expecting you
Law of Bad Haiku
Haiku # 59559, September 21, 2018 4:11 pm ET
by Starkitten
Hood of your car, Babe
Drive through a crowd. New Year's Eve.
Show them your Dick Clark
Haiku # 59558, September 21, 2018 2:45 pm ET
by Starkitten
Geriatric stunt
Spelunking in Grandma's Cunt
Fallen. Can't get up.
Haiku # 59557, September 21, 2018 2:10 pm ET
by Staritten of Retirement Home for Aged Haiku Poets
Punch the juke box,Fonz
Happy Days are here again!
Drive In Circle Jerk!!
Haiku # 59556, September 21, 2018 2:07 pm ET
by Starkitten
Ocean Getaway
Buried in sand. Head sticking out.
FREAKING LITTERBOX!!
Haiku # 59555, September 21, 2018 2:01 pm ET
by Starkitten and friends
Don't be embarrassed
Pull your pants down now, my friend
Best haiku is short
Haiku # 59554, September 21, 2018 1:55 pm ET
by CeilingCat of Look up when you're pulling taffy
Submit to me now.
Submit to my bad Haiku.
Go on. Just DO IT
Haiku # 59553, September 21, 2018 12:52 pm ET
by bytes of bituminous binging
Yeah, But HILLARY !
Come on, you know; Dame Clinton.
The one with that . . . thing.
Haiku # 59552, September 21, 2018 12:46 pm ET
by bybybybybybybybyby of bye bye
Pop'n Fresh cutie
Cornered him in the pantry
Hardcore Doughgasm
Haiku # 59551, September 21, 2018 12:39 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starkitten's moist book;
not sure I wanna read it.
Is it legible?
Haiku # 59550, September 21, 2018 12:32 pm ET
by by teasing librarians, we read more of what motivates them
By you reading this
Proof you had sex with him:
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 59549, September 21, 2018 12:27 pm ET
by Earl Hamner of Walton's Mountain
Esteemed Starkitten:
Can you do another one
about Hillary?
Haiku # 59548, September 21, 2018 12:25 pm ET
by by Miss Amerikan Pie of One-World Technocracy
Slept through the orgy
Making up for lost time now
Bad Haikugasm
Haiku # 59547, September 21, 2018 12:23 pm ET
by Starkitten of Order of Mostly Moist Librarians
Compulsive Haiku:
Ephemeral poetry
Tossed into the void
Haiku # 59546, September 21, 2018 12:20 pm ET
by your reading this, I am assured of immortality
Gynecologist
Face Plant. Tuna Casserole.
Worked straight through lunch
Haiku # 59545, September 21, 2018 12:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
Hey, I jacked off, I don't know about the rest of you.... do we need to coordinate it? How about noon tomorrow, EST. Is that good for everyone?
Haiku # 59544, September 21, 2018 12:15 pm ET
by df
Give me more info.
Write a creative by-line.
Then I'll know it's you!
Haiku # 59543, September 21, 2018 12:15 pm ET
by Senryu Seppuku of Nagashima
If you're bored with porn.
Why not try a prostitute?
What is there to lose?

Well, yeah, there's money.
And you could get HIV.
It beats suicide.

Go on, blow some cash.
Go crazy, live a little.
You might just like her.

Read her your poems.
Show her bad haiku dot com.
Go on, we're waiting.
Haiku # 59542, September 21, 2018 12:14 pm ET
by
So . . . that circle jerk;
what happened to it, poets;
Did your muses leave?
Haiku # 59541, September 21, 2018 12:11 pm ET
by the time you realize you are full of shit, it is too late
What's the worse part about safe sex?
Stopping to click the mouse.
...And a sticky keyboard if you're not careful.
Haiku # 59540, September 21, 2018 12:09 pm ET
by
Do not waste your life.
Drive your car into a crowd.
Claim you were possessed.

Seek resolution
on Oprah or some talk show.
You will be famous.
Haiku # 59539, September 21, 2018 12:07 pm ET
by
That craving for porn;
say you don't ever get it
and I say you lie.
Haiku # 59538, September 21, 2018 9:17 am ET
by performing amateur gynecology, the love of porn is not diminished
The Sabaeans or Sabeans (Arabic: اَلـسَّـبَـئِـيُّـون‎, as-Saba
Haiku # 59537, September 21, 2018 9:14 am ET
by Wikipedia, which is full of conjecture
i could off myself
in real life, no more porn or
haiku from me, so

i think ill stick around even though i feel
bad today ive menial work to do
Haiku # 59536, September 21, 2018 9:11 am ET
by vhs of fuck it
The Queen of Sheba
must have had a clitoris.
Or was she Muslim?
Haiku # 59535, September 21, 2018 9:08 am ET
by the dry riverbeds of Southern Yemen
You ever had hope?
I mean... how naive are you?
All species die; ours too.

Extinction is good.
It is all God's perfect plan.
blah blah blah blah blah.
Haiku # 59534, September 21, 2018 9:05 am ET
by
Did Allah tell you
To sew their vaginas shut?
Hell rises with you.
Haiku # 59533, September 21, 2018 9:00 am ET
by informing yourself of the truth, you become no wiser
Nomadic faces:
Somali girls with no clits
infibulated
Haiku # 59532, September 21, 2018 8:36 am ET
by sewing it shut, the risk of later health concerns increases
United States of
brainwashed by MSN News,
Go to hell forthwith.
Haiku # 59531, September 21, 2018 8:27 am ET
by ignoring His law, nations come under the wrath of Almighty God
There are some nations
that seem truly to be cursed.
Can you name any?
Haiku # 59530, September 21, 2018 8:22 am ET
by titling the documentary "A Cursed Land", France 24 made me think of this sad reality.
South Sudan at war:
Cattle rustling, burning huts
Flies on corpses. God.
Haiku # 59529, September 21, 2018 8:17 am ET
by watching documentaries, one loses the hope of progress for mankind
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