Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

i was on the treadmill
doing exercizes i hate
doing over and

over and want to end
the list of obligations
go north somewhere

and walden in the cold
for a bit of time then come
back i hope a changed

Haiku # 57985, January 25, 2018 11:31 am ET
by js
i was about to quit
i feel like that right now, i
value the person

i talk to over
this place any day, so let
vhs die off

like the format
Haiku # 57984, January 25, 2018 10:52 am ET
by js
id hate to hear on
religion and sex i need
to eat hot dogs on

friday, hail eris
but seriously i feel
not good right now cause

a barb was aimed and
a barb i shall aim no more
thats potuses job to

say stupid stuff on twitter
Haiku # 57983, January 25, 2018 10:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
that does it, im not
surrounded by assholes but
i am the asshole

i need to clean up
Haiku # 57982, January 25, 2018 10:47 am ET
by vhs
it always creeps in
stupid comments my bad the
cock crows three times

Haiku # 57981, January 25, 2018 10:44 am ET
by vhs
Just made a mistake
Diarrhea is like stew
Not like soup. Sorry
Haiku # 57980, January 25, 2018 10:24 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of I miss you idiots
If I got money
Every time called an a-hole
I would be soooo rich

Lighten up anon
People will be rude sometimes
Just a part of life

But seriously
Politics has no place here
Just upsets people

We prefer fart jokes
And masturbation updates
That's just how it is.

Now you have been warned
So come back and try again
Diarrhea soup
Haiku # 57979, January 25, 2018 10:14 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
horrified he puts the
barb away meaning it for
someone he didn't know
Haiku # 57978, January 25, 2018 7:51 am ET
by vhs
this place is not fun
got called an asshole by you
but, you get your wish

I wont post anymore
Haiku # 57977, January 24, 2018 3:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
which one is which on
here, oh well part of the fun
gotta love these durn

Fourth Turnings
Haiku # 57976, January 24, 2018 1:37 pm ET
by vhs
Fuck all of this shit.
What have I done with my life?
Not a Goddamn thing.
Haiku # 57975, January 24, 2018 3:36 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a math whore.
That is my official job.
There's none more evil.
Haiku # 57974, January 24, 2018 3:32 am ET
Penile implants.
Balloon animal sausage.
I hope they don't pop.
Haiku # 57973, January 24, 2018 3:30 am ET
Let's get back to work.
Make some bad fart joke haiku.
That's what we're here for.
Haiku # 57972, January 24, 2018 3:28 am ET
Yes, you're an asshole.
But all poets are assholes.
Since the first poem.
Haiku # 57971, January 24, 2018 3:25 am ET
Someone needs brownies.
Made with sweet magic butter.
Embrace the sweet calm.
Haiku # 57970, January 24, 2018 3:23 am ET
I am an asshole?
That is way over the top.
You need to chill out.
Haiku # 57969, January 23, 2018 11:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
prayer won out but
either way i got mad, so
think about road rage

you may be a jerk
remorseless sociopath
but if you piss off

a vanilla guy
with bipolar he just might
go nuts ans scratch

the, paint or more, theres
always someone more evil
than youraelf, ask Elric

Stormbringer..."I was more evil
than thou" chaos howling through the ether
Haiku # 57968, January 23, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by vhs
i feel the anger
and i wish i could reach over
the screen and pinch

your cheek, box your ears
and much worse, instead ill debate
if i should put

a black magick curse
on you or pray for you, oh
decisions, decision

ill know something worked if you cease to post or cease to be an asshole
Haiku # 57967, January 23, 2018 11:31 am ET
by vhs
smart but evil, he
had no remorse, stuck here for
years and crafted the

small reality
hed made for himself here
me, i voted for trump

thats evil
Haiku # 57966, January 23, 2018 11:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
besides if you like
i can always get a shovel
and make you a hole
Haiku # 57965, January 23, 2018 11:27 am ET
by vhs
right, i accept me
i have fun here, im having
fun, you cant steal that

and im kinda evil myself so you
got good company
Haiku # 57964, January 23, 2018 11:25 am ET
by vhs
Accept it Donnie
Smart people do not like you
Go back to your hole
Haiku # 57963, January 23, 2018 8:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
dont get me started
on green girls with dymbionts on
their heads who were mages

but got turned into
horrors but sort of back into
themselves but still green
Haiku # 57962, January 22, 2018 11:13 pm ET
by vhs
well that dick joke came
from under the bridge but i aint
no billy goats gruff
Haiku # 57961, January 22, 2018 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
I didn't love her
when she used to be pretty.
And now that she's fat...
Haiku # 57960, January 22, 2018 2:12 pm ET
I'd be filthy rich
if being an asshole were
a real profession.
Haiku # 57959, January 22, 2018 2:09 pm ET
vhs, do you
let your penis dangle out
of your zipper when

walking in public?
Haiku # 57958, January 22, 2018 2:02 pm ET
Rancid queef biscuits.
Arby's roast beef sandwiches.
Massengill sauce.
Haiku # 57957, January 22, 2018 2:00 pm ET
youre just being a
vogon or impersonating
me pissed off on

something stupid :p
Haiku # 57956, January 22, 2018 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
I have been at this
for almost an hour now.
That is good enough.
Haiku # 57955, January 22, 2018 5:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
x-rated elongated
Frankenstein scandal.
Haiku # 57954, January 22, 2018 5:44 am ET
You should memorize
the periodic table
by tomorrow night.
Haiku # 57953, January 22, 2018 5:40 am ET
How long can one live
on a diet of Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper?
Haiku # 57952, January 22, 2018 5:35 am ET
History channel
trailer park Pabst Blue Ribbon
armchair physicist.
Haiku # 57951, January 22, 2018 5:32 am ET
Laser genital
surgical reconstruction
balloon animals.
Haiku # 57950, January 22, 2018 5:27 am ET
I will burn in hell.
The fiery pits await.
I'll read my poems.

The other sinners
will scream with pure agony
to hear my verses.

Satan will love me.
We will be the best of pals.
My demon buddy.
Haiku # 57949, January 22, 2018 5:19 am ET
You think it's bad, but
it's not the Lord's name in vain
if I am sincere.
Haiku # 57948, January 22, 2018 5:15 am ET
YouTube stole my life.
Goddamn those funny kittens.
And now I am old.
Haiku # 57947, January 22, 2018 5:13 am ET
It's too much to ask.
I want a phone that's a phone.
Exploding Jello.
Haiku # 57946, January 22, 2018 5:10 am ET
Fucking Java script.
It has been deemed outdated.
Google go to hell!
Haiku # 57945, January 22, 2018 5:07 am ET
Sometimes I over-
use anthropomorphism
so I'll orgasm.
Haiku # 57944, January 22, 2018 5:05 am ET
If ice cream could speak,
could it tell you its story
before you finish?
Haiku # 57943, January 22, 2018 5:03 am ET
Sentient plant life.
Laser weed eaters.
Haiku # 57942, January 22, 2018 5:01 am ET
Aliens are green.
That's for photosynthesis.
They taste like lettuce.

But they lack the crunch.
Caesar dressing will not help.
Robitussin rocks!
Haiku # 57941, January 22, 2018 4:58 am ET
Better than "Dice Clay."
Some consider him poet
I think he asshole
Haiku # 57940, January 22, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Ted Nudgents sister/cousin
yes you are listen
ing to a dishwasher write
poems with mark dice
Haiku # 57939, January 21, 2018 11:31 pm ET
by vhs
My wife is naive.
She thinks I'm downloading porn.
But this is much worse.
Haiku # 57938, January 21, 2018 3:35 pm ET
i wonder what mark
dice would think of being all
up and haikued here
Haiku # 57937, January 21, 2018 12:51 pm ET
by vhs
no i just forgot
i like posting self pity
stuff as an aspect

of sides of the self
wait theres more! the end times are
a comin, no mark dice!!
Haiku # 57936, January 21, 2018 11:08 am ET
by vhs of CALLE 4100
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