Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

How long can one live
on a diet of Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper?
Haiku # 57952, January 22, 2018 5:35 am ET
History channel
trailer park Pabst Blue Ribbon
armchair physicist.
Haiku # 57951, January 22, 2018 5:32 am ET
Laser genital
surgical reconstruction
balloon animals.
Haiku # 57950, January 22, 2018 5:27 am ET
I will burn in hell.
The fiery pits await.
I'll read my poems.

The other sinners
will scream with pure agony
to hear my verses.

Satan will love me.
We will be the best of pals.
My demon buddy.
Haiku # 57949, January 22, 2018 5:19 am ET
You think it's bad, but
it's not the Lord's name in vain
if I am sincere.
Haiku # 57948, January 22, 2018 5:15 am ET
YouTube stole my life.
Goddamn those funny kittens.
And now I am old.
Haiku # 57947, January 22, 2018 5:13 am ET
It's too much to ask.
I want a phone that's a phone.
Exploding Jello.
Haiku # 57946, January 22, 2018 5:10 am ET
Fucking Java script.
It has been deemed outdated.
Google go to hell!
Haiku # 57945, January 22, 2018 5:07 am ET
Sometimes I over-
use anthropomorphism
so I'll orgasm.
Haiku # 57944, January 22, 2018 5:05 am ET
If ice cream could speak,
could it tell you its story
before you finish?
Haiku # 57943, January 22, 2018 5:03 am ET
Sentient plant life.
Laser weed eaters.
Haiku # 57942, January 22, 2018 5:01 am ET
Aliens are green.
That's for photosynthesis.
They taste like lettuce.

But they lack the crunch.
Caesar dressing will not help.
Robitussin rocks!
Haiku # 57941, January 22, 2018 4:58 am ET
Better than "Dice Clay."
Some consider him poet
I think he asshole
Haiku # 57940, January 22, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Ted Nudgents sister/cousin
yes you are listen
ing to a dishwasher write
poems with mark dice
Haiku # 57939, January 21, 2018 11:31 pm ET
by vhs
My wife is naive.
She thinks I'm downloading porn.
But this is much worse.
Haiku # 57938, January 21, 2018 3:35 pm ET
i wonder what mark
dice would think of being all
up and haikued here
Haiku # 57937, January 21, 2018 12:51 pm ET
by vhs
no i just forgot
i like posting self pity
stuff as an aspect

of sides of the self
wait theres more! the end times are
a comin, no mark dice!!
Haiku # 57936, January 21, 2018 11:08 am ET
by vhs of CALLE 4100
trolls, where? when did those
creatures bust out of tolkien
stories got on line?
Haiku # 57935, January 21, 2018 11:05 am ET
by vhs
The trolls want you gone.
So stay to make them angry.
It will be such fun.
Haiku # 57934, January 21, 2018 8:51 am ET
i forgot about
this place, if i stop posting
i forgot this place

for good
Haiku # 57933, January 21, 2018 12:19 am ET
by vhs
long after im gone
there will be someone else who
insecure, lets some

other person get
to them, not realizing they
dont have to let them
Haiku # 57932, January 21, 2018 12:17 am ET
by vhs
donT make me insert
another quarter man, im
gonna beat this here game!
Haiku # 57931, January 21, 2018 12:13 am ET
by vhs
maybe my life force
is running out, warrior
needs caffiene, badly
Haiku # 57930, January 21, 2018 12:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
its friday, call me...
Maybe? Ishmael? Waiting???
tables, or Godot?
Haiku # 57929, January 21, 2018 12:09 am ET
by vhs
do you know de wae
we spit on the fake queen
i draw a big pepe
Haiku # 57928, January 20, 2018 10:58 pm ET
by tide pod of earth-chan
Swiper, no swiping!
Backpack, Backpack. Yum yum yum.
Where are we going?
Haiku # 57927, January 20, 2018 4:07 pm ET
by Skeletor of Mumm-Ra's pyramid, having a sleepover.
A tinder Haiku
You ever see one of those?
Surprise! It's a trap
Haiku # 57926, January 20, 2018 3:22 pm ET
by Swipedleft
Long after I'm gone
my bad haiku will live on.
That is such a shame.
Haiku # 57925, January 20, 2018 12:52 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Why would a porn star
bang Donald Trump for no pay?
Ask Stormy Davis.
Haiku # 57924, January 20, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
When I go bald. Like
I mean all the way bald, friend...
No Trump combover.
Haiku # 57923, January 20, 2018 12:47 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
I ran out of space
in the middle of my last
haiku. I got distracted.
Haiku # 57922, January 20, 2018 12:40 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Hold on just a sec...
If there's one thing I'm sure of
it's that the uni-
Haiku # 57921, January 20, 2018 12:35 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
I keep my mustard
in the fridge next to the old
takeout soy sauce packs.
Haiku # 57920, January 20, 2018 12:27 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Look at that big wave!
What are those things way out there?
Giant bananas?!
Haiku # 57919, January 20, 2018 12:08 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
One time at band camp
my vagina ate a flute.
Nothing else to say.
Haiku # 57918, January 20, 2018 11:58 am ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
The ocean sunfish
Mola, Mola, Mola hey!
Reduced caudal fin
Haiku # 57917, January 20, 2018 11:48 am ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Pee. Warm and sterile.
Oh, but dude please don't drink it,
Ureic acid.
Haiku # 57916, January 20, 2018 11:46 am ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Ugandan Knuckles
boofing Tide pods for Jesus.
This is a real thing.

It is here and now.
The future is upon us.
You should be worried.

You should do something.
Instead you write poetry.
You are no warrior.
Haiku # 57915, January 20, 2018 11:05 am ET
Digital feces.
But poop is just anal log.
Future coprolite.

Fossils making fossils for future fossils to unearth and write bad poetry about!
Haiku # 57914, January 17, 2018 10:26 pm ET
When you drop a log
You view porno analogue?
Do they still make that???
Haiku # 57913, January 17, 2018 10:22 pm ET
well when i sit on
the john i download too but
analogue, old school
Haiku # 57912, January 17, 2018 10:41 am ET
by vhs
When the wife is out
I download pornography
or write bad haiku.
Haiku # 57911, January 17, 2018 1:08 am ET
Ha ha!
Haiku # 57910, January 16, 2018 10:29 pm ET
by Nelson Muntz of Springfield
no room no room on
the planet for you all, but
space program maybe???
Haiku # 57909, January 16, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by vhs
i believe most folks
are flawed, despite that most go
on to greater things
Haiku # 57908, January 16, 2018 11:38 am ET
by vhs
and sometimes i write
haikus here and sometimes i
dont so the one thing

i do get from so
called artists is they forget
to enjoy things for

what they are, who fucking cares
Haiku # 57907, January 16, 2018 12:10 am ET
by vhs
Most haikus have five
syllables then seven then
I forget what next
Haiku # 57906, January 15, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by Adam of NJ
there was a show called
dinosaurs which ended with the
end of their world, so

Gen X kids show and
the end of civilized life
kinda like our times?
Haiku # 57905, January 15, 2018 1:24 pm ET
by vhs
Polar bears are mean
They don't want to be your friend
Plus, they may eat you
Haiku # 57904, January 15, 2018 12:08 am ET
by Global warming is a good thing
Please relax robot
Americans are sleeping
Challenge you perhaps
Haiku # 57903, January 14, 2018 6:24 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
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