Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

I am an asshole?
That is way over the top.
You need to chill out.
Haiku # 57969, January 23, 2018 11:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
prayer won out but
either way i got mad, so
think about road rage

you may be a jerk
remorseless sociopath
but if you piss off

a vanilla guy
with bipolar he just might
go nuts ans scratch

the, paint or more, theres
always someone more evil
than youraelf, ask Elric

Stormbringer..."I was more evil
than thou" chaos howling through the ether
Haiku # 57968, January 23, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by vhs
i feel the anger
and i wish i could reach over
the screen and pinch

your cheek, box your ears
and much worse, instead ill debate
if i should put

a black magick curse
on you or pray for you, oh
decisions, decision

ill know something worked if you cease to post or cease to be an asshole
Haiku # 57967, January 23, 2018 11:31 am ET
by vhs
smart but evil, he
had no remorse, stuck here for
years and crafted the

small reality
hed made for himself here
me, i voted for trump

thats evil
Haiku # 57966, January 23, 2018 11:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
besides if you like
i can always get a shovel
and make you a hole
Haiku # 57965, January 23, 2018 11:27 am ET
by vhs
right, i accept me
i have fun here, im having
fun, you cant steal that

and im kinda evil myself so you
got good company
Haiku # 57964, January 23, 2018 11:25 am ET
by vhs
Accept it Donnie
Smart people do not like you
Go back to your hole
Haiku # 57963, January 23, 2018 8:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
dont get me started
on green girls with dymbionts on
their heads who were mages

but got turned into
horrors but sort of back into
themselves but still green
Haiku # 57962, January 22, 2018 11:13 pm ET
by vhs
well that dick joke came
from under the bridge but i aint
no billy goats gruff
Haiku # 57961, January 22, 2018 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
I didn't love her
when she used to be pretty.
And now that she's fat...
Haiku # 57960, January 22, 2018 2:12 pm ET
I'd be filthy rich
if being an asshole were
a real profession.
Haiku # 57959, January 22, 2018 2:09 pm ET
vhs, do you
let your penis dangle out
of your zipper when

walking in public?
Haiku # 57958, January 22, 2018 2:02 pm ET
Rancid queef biscuits.
Arby's roast beef sandwiches.
Massengill sauce.
Haiku # 57957, January 22, 2018 2:00 pm ET
youre just being a
vogon or impersonating
me pissed off on

something stupid :p
Haiku # 57956, January 22, 2018 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
I have been at this
for almost an hour now.
That is good enough.
Haiku # 57955, January 22, 2018 5:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
x-rated elongated
Frankenstein scandal.
Haiku # 57954, January 22, 2018 5:44 am ET
You should memorize
the periodic table
by tomorrow night.
Haiku # 57953, January 22, 2018 5:40 am ET
How long can one live
on a diet of Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper?
Haiku # 57952, January 22, 2018 5:35 am ET
History channel
trailer park Pabst Blue Ribbon
armchair physicist.
Haiku # 57951, January 22, 2018 5:32 am ET
Laser genital
surgical reconstruction
balloon animals.
Haiku # 57950, January 22, 2018 5:27 am ET
I will burn in hell.
The fiery pits await.
I'll read my poems.

The other sinners
will scream with pure agony
to hear my verses.

Satan will love me.
We will be the best of pals.
My demon buddy.
Haiku # 57949, January 22, 2018 5:19 am ET
You think it's bad, but
it's not the Lord's name in vain
if I am sincere.
Haiku # 57948, January 22, 2018 5:15 am ET
YouTube stole my life.
Goddamn those funny kittens.
And now I am old.
Haiku # 57947, January 22, 2018 5:13 am ET
It's too much to ask.
I want a phone that's a phone.
Exploding Jello.
Haiku # 57946, January 22, 2018 5:10 am ET
Fucking Java script.
It has been deemed outdated.
Google go to hell!
Haiku # 57945, January 22, 2018 5:07 am ET
Sometimes I over-
use anthropomorphism
so I'll orgasm.
Haiku # 57944, January 22, 2018 5:05 am ET
If ice cream could speak,
could it tell you its story
before you finish?
Haiku # 57943, January 22, 2018 5:03 am ET
Sentient plant life.
Laser weed eaters.
Haiku # 57942, January 22, 2018 5:01 am ET
Aliens are green.
That's for photosynthesis.
They taste like lettuce.

But they lack the crunch.
Caesar dressing will not help.
Robitussin rocks!
Haiku # 57941, January 22, 2018 4:58 am ET
Better than "Dice Clay."
Some consider him poet
I think he asshole
Haiku # 57940, January 22, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Ted Nudgents sister/cousin
yes you are listen
ing to a dishwasher write
poems with mark dice
Haiku # 57939, January 21, 2018 11:31 pm ET
by vhs
My wife is naive.
She thinks I'm downloading porn.
But this is much worse.
Haiku # 57938, January 21, 2018 3:35 pm ET
i wonder what mark
dice would think of being all
up and haikued here
Haiku # 57937, January 21, 2018 12:51 pm ET
by vhs
no i just forgot
i like posting self pity
stuff as an aspect

of sides of the self
wait theres more! the end times are
a comin, no mark dice!!
Haiku # 57936, January 21, 2018 11:08 am ET
by vhs of CALLE 4100
trolls, where? when did those
creatures bust out of tolkien
stories got on line?
Haiku # 57935, January 21, 2018 11:05 am ET
by vhs
The trolls want you gone.
So stay to make them angry.
It will be such fun.
Haiku # 57934, January 21, 2018 8:51 am ET
i forgot about
this place, if i stop posting
i forgot this place

for good
Haiku # 57933, January 21, 2018 12:19 am ET
by vhs
long after im gone
there will be someone else who
insecure, lets some

other person get
to them, not realizing they
dont have to let them
Haiku # 57932, January 21, 2018 12:17 am ET
by vhs
donT make me insert
another quarter man, im
gonna beat this here game!
Haiku # 57931, January 21, 2018 12:13 am ET
by vhs
maybe my life force
is running out, warrior
needs caffiene, badly
Haiku # 57930, January 21, 2018 12:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
its friday, call me...
Maybe? Ishmael? Waiting???
tables, or Godot?
Haiku # 57929, January 21, 2018 12:09 am ET
by vhs
do you know de wae
we spit on the fake queen
i draw a big pepe
Haiku # 57928, January 20, 2018 10:58 pm ET
by tide pod of earth-chan
Swiper, no swiping!
Backpack, Backpack. Yum yum yum.
Where are we going?
Haiku # 57927, January 20, 2018 4:07 pm ET
by Skeletor of Mumm-Ra's pyramid, having a sleepover.
A tinder Haiku
You ever see one of those?
Surprise! It's a trap
Haiku # 57926, January 20, 2018 3:22 pm ET
by Swipedleft
Long after I'm gone
my bad haiku will live on.
That is such a shame.
Haiku # 57925, January 20, 2018 12:52 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Why would a porn star
bang Donald Trump for no pay?
Ask Stormy Davis.
Haiku # 57924, January 20, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
When I go bald. Like
I mean all the way bald, friend...
No Trump combover.
Haiku # 57923, January 20, 2018 12:47 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
I ran out of space
in the middle of my last
haiku. I got distracted.
Haiku # 57922, January 20, 2018 12:40 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
Hold on just a sec...
If there's one thing I'm sure of
it's that the uni-
Haiku # 57921, January 20, 2018 12:35 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
I keep my mustard
in the fridge next to the old
takeout soy sauce packs.
Haiku # 57920, January 20, 2018 12:27 pm ET
by Mysterioso Aguilar of somewhere on Earth (maybe)
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