All nude female
ultimate fighting champion
drop-kick pussy-shot.

Asians wear dust masks.
It's not for smog or virus.
That's just what they do.

She came willingly.
And then she came willingly.
Please don't tell my wife.

We are Liverpool
From Shankly to Lallana
And all in-between

Roasting Marshmallows
aside Hell's Lake of Fire,
singing songs by Queen.

"I can smell your cunt!"
Hissed Multiple Miggs through bars.
"I myself cannot."

Sunny D Orange Drink.
Mac and cheese and Spam sandwich.
Kraft and Rainbow Bread.

Her soul ripped apart.
Babies' screams cut through the night.
Leaving nothing else.

Donald Trump's wet dream.
He is four hundred feet tall.
And butt-ass naked.

He scoops people up.
And shoves them right up his ass.
This will now happen.

Impending evil.
Dreams are more vivid than life.
How did this happen?

She looks delicious.
I'll drag her into my dreams.
Kicking and screaming.

What a bunch of shit!
You've said that how many times?
Please, go already!

But before you leave,
please take one of these with you:
PAARRROOTOOT PATOOT!

That was a huge fart.
Dinosauric gas blast.
Ginormous flatus.

I'll not be back, I've
seen the light at the end of
the tunnel, train...bye

burroughs did it
he called it Naked Lunch, I
should smack you sir. worse

I should pray for you.
Yes the old Chrijistsm bug
at least I'm not OHMing

I dream of prison,
of capture and punishment
for horrific crimes.

Upon my waking
The world seems ethereal;
I become a ghost.

I waken to this...
mundane caffeinated haze.
I am nobody.

Science is a lie.
Chem book say "You have 3 moles
of IF3 gas."

I don't have 3 moles
of iodine trifluoride
and I never did!

Presumptive assholes!
I mean, who the fuck has that?
Thank God they aren't cops!

You're under arrest!
You have 50 grams of coke!
Because we said so!

Stupid ass science.
I'll go back to the Bible.
Raining frogs; why not!

well I want to see
other people also post
haiku besides you

and myself here, just
I might have to drag some fet
people into here

is this some guys long
on going project to himself
haiku on dark net?

That is just so wrong.
You've crossed way over the line.
Never plant tulips!

Hey! Don't you forget,
Tomorrow is extra day
Use it for poems...

or masturbation
or burying the bodies
or cleaning gutters

or calling parents
or returning stolen sheep
or planting tulips

Procrastination,
Sterilization Without
Representation

Men who fuck chickens,
contrary to what they say,
are chicken fuckers.

You would do well to
Remember that when you vote.
Plus Trump has dumb hair.

Ukiah's a town
in Northern California.
They don't write haiku.

You donut puncher.
Bavarian filled choco.
Traffic cop's bitch boy.

Now is the time for
all good men to come to the
aid of their country.

boo! out of donuts
cry in artisanal beer
our startup lifestyle

end is growing near
why bother opening eyes
out of yum donuts!

the love of my life
I've looked for you for so long
unguarded donut

Sometimes even the
sysadmin's config change tests
must take haiku form.

how many cycles of
history have ends of history
as stages?

francis fukuyama
at one time a big book
author of the

"end of history"
now found with JW and ayn
rand books in goodwills

How many assholes
does it take to tell a joke
to piss people off?

It only takes one.
Sort of like masturbation.
And you're good at it.

Just kidding, it's me.
Ha, I had you going there!
I am such a douche!

Hear the one about
the Irish guy who's well hung?
Of course you didn't!

vhs is bi.
Ash is a tri-sexual.
(He'll try anything.)

I'm quad-sexual.
I only screw quadrupeds.
Hence my cute nickname.

i am jealous now
not a damned irish joke on
these web haiku...

the horror and the
irony and ancestry
where's the whiskey?????

Did you hear the joke
'bout the mathematician?
That's 'cause there are none.

I often say that
"these dicks will not suck themselves"
when solving problems.

And, just like a whore,
I only take cash up front.
No cash, no answers.

well I'm bi so like
someone can say what a shock
that is to hear that

what ever happened
To the idiot nut job
who said we were gay

Still going then Ash
Perpetual Haiku
Persistent talent

well I wonder if I
can make PI jokes about dick
circumference or

how one measures that
using geometry or what
would that make math class

more interesting?

well someone has to
keep this place going at least
it is going on

I only feel whored.
Sucking that math dick for cash.
I've got mouths to feed.

from bored to restored
even though you feel ignored
suffer your reward

Let's talk about sex
with Tyrannosaurus-Rex
but not tranny-rex.

Transvestite T-rex.
I bet she would give great head.
And then bite it off.

Sounds like an old Ex
Put hexes on our exes.
Chop them with axes.

That's plural of axe.
Not the plural of axis.
Back to fucking math.

The wrath of the math
I am a sociopath
like Sylvia Plath.

Fuck this.

downward spiral you
say, have I been speaking to
trent reznor all this

time???

it's mud season right
now, the dirt roads are too soft
or harden with freeze

what would beavis and butthead do at the utterance of the word "hard?"

The awful fact that
evil is entertainment
makes me hate people.

Thus I am evil.
That's called a downward spiral.
Wheeeeee! What a fun ride!

I should run away.
Leave all the crap behind me,
and just go surfing.

The snow has melted
and so I'll wait 'till next year
to fall on my ass

acedia or say
apathy is sloth but who
the hell came up with

the seven deadlies
we know the seven words you
can't say on the air

George carlin...saw him
long long time ago irl
quite a show it was

well the show must go
on even when the actors pass
away, new ones come

don't give yourself too
much credit, I enjoy your
"evil" I just want

my own evil to
be as entertaining and
I put up with it

Blah Blah fuckin' blah.
Fuckin' blah dee blah blah blah.
Blah fuckin' blah fart.
--vhs

Oooo, I'm so evil.
I can write a bunch of crap.
I'm Satan's rival.

All war is my fault.
Starvation and sickness too.
And there's apathy.

Of all the evil
apathy is the worst one.
And it's all my fault.

All the world's evil,
It is all because of me.
You read it here first.

what is troubling
is we put on these folks who
act, sing, write, play, dance

a cross, a godhood
and to find that image dashed
by word, deed and song