"I can smell your cunt!"
Hissed Multiple Miggs through bars.
"I myself cannot."
by Darth Figpucker
Sunny D Orange Drink.
Mac and cheese and Spam sandwich.
Kraft and Rainbow Bread.
by Darth Figpucker, the master chef of Walnut Ave. Trailer Park, Newark NJ
Her soul ripped apart.
Babies' screams cut through the night.
Leaving nothing else.
by Darth Figpucker
Donald Trump's wet dream.
He is four hundred feet tall.
And butt-ass naked.
He scoops people up.
And shoves them right up his ass.
This will now happen.
by Darth Figpucker
Impending evil.
Dreams are more vivid than life.
How did this happen?
She looks delicious.
I'll drag her into my dreams.
Kicking and screaming.
by Darth Figpucker
What a bunch of shit!
You've said that how many times?
Please, go already!
But before you leave,
please take one of these with you:
PAARRROOTOOT PATOOT!
That was a huge fart.
Dinosauric gas blast.
Ginormous flatus.
by Darth Figpucker
I'll not be back, I've
seen the light at the end of
the tunnel, train...bye
by vhs
burroughs did it
he called it Naked Lunch, I
should smack you sir. worse
I should pray for you.
Yes the old Chrijistsm bug
at least I'm not OHMing
by vhs
I dream of prison,
of capture and punishment
for horrific crimes.
Upon my waking
The world seems ethereal;
I become a ghost.
I waken to this...
mundane caffeinated haze.
I am nobody.
by Darth Figpucker
Science is a lie.
Chem book say "You have 3 moles
of IF3 gas."
I don't have 3 moles
of iodine trifluoride
and I never did!
Presumptive assholes!
I mean, who the fuck has that?
Thank God they aren't cops!
You're under arrest!
You have 50 grams of coke!
Because we said so!
Stupid ass science.
I'll go back to the Bible.
Raining frogs; why not!
by Darth Figpucker is not the owner of IF3
well I want to see
other people also post
haiku besides you
and myself here, just
I might have to drag some fet
people into here
by vhs
is this some guys long
on going project to himself
haiku on dark net?
by vhs
That is just so wrong.
You've crossed way over the line.
Never plant tulips!
by Darth Figpucker
Hey! Don't you forget,
Tomorrow is extra day
Use it for poems...
or masturbation
or burying the bodies
or cleaning gutters
or calling parents
or returning stolen sheep
or planting tulips
by Anonymous Poet
Procrastination,
Sterilization Without
Representation
by Mandingo Ebola
Men who fuck chickens,
contrary to what they say,
are chicken fuckers.
You would do well to
Remember that when you vote.
Plus Trump has dumb hair.
by Anonymous Poet
Ukiah's a town
in Northern California.
They don't write haiku.
by Darth Figpucker
You donut puncher.
Bavarian filled choco.
Traffic cop's bitch boy.
by Darth Figpucker
Now is the time for
all good men to come to the
aid of their country.
by Darth Figpucker of Palau
boo! out of donuts
cry in artisanal beer
our startup lifestyle
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
end is growing near
why bother opening eyes
out of yum donuts!
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
the love of my life
I've looked for you for so long
unguarded donut
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Sometimes even the
sysadmin's config change tests
must take haiku form.
by Adam
how many cycles of
history have ends of history
as stages?
by vhs
francis fukuyama
at one time a big book
author of the
"end of history"
now found with JW and ayn
rand books in goodwills
by vhs
How many assholes
does it take to tell a joke
to piss people off?
It only takes one.
Sort of like masturbation.
And you're good at it.
Just kidding, it's me.
Ha, I had you going there!
I am such a douche!
Hear the one about
the Irish guy who's well hung?
Of course you didn't!
vhs is bi.
Ash is a tri-sexual.
(He'll try anything.)
I'm quad-sexual.
I only screw quadrupeds.
Hence my cute nickname.
by Darth Figpucker.
i am jealous now
not a damned irish joke on
these web haiku...
the horror and the
irony and ancestry
where's the whiskey?????
by vhs
Did you hear the joke
'bout the mathematician?
That's 'cause there are none.
I often say that
"these dicks will not suck themselves"
when solving problems.
And, just like a whore,
I only take cash up front.
No cash, no answers.
by Anonymous Poet
well I'm bi so like
someone can say what a shock
that is to hear that
by vhs
what ever happened
To the idiot nut job
who said we were gay
by somanynamesused of UK
Still going then Ash
Perpetual Haiku
Persistent talent
by Somanynamesused of UK
well I wonder if I
can make PI jokes about dick
circumference or
how one measures that
using geometry or what
would that make math class
more interesting?
by vhs
well someone has to
keep this place going at least
it is going on
by vhs
I only feel whored.
Sucking that math dick for cash.
I've got mouths to feed.
by Anonymous Poet
from bored to restored
even though you feel ignored
suffer your reward
by Anonymous Poet
Let's talk about sex
with Tyrannosaurus-Rex
but not tranny-rex.
Transvestite T-rex.
I bet she would give great head.
And then bite it off.
Sounds like an old Ex
Put hexes on our exes.
Chop them with axes.
That's plural of axe.
Not the plural of axis.
Back to fucking math.
The wrath of the math
I am a sociopath
like Sylvia Plath.
Fuck this.
by DF
downward spiral you
say, have I been speaking to
trent reznor all this
time???
by vhs
it's mud season right
now, the dirt roads are too soft
or harden with freeze
what would beavis and butthead do at the utterance of the word "hard?"
by vhs
The awful fact that
evil is entertainment
makes me hate people.
Thus I am evil.
That's called a downward spiral.
Wheeeeee! What a fun ride!
I should run away.
Leave all the crap behind me,
and just go surfing.
by Darth Figpucker, not of North Shore, but maybe some day.
The snow has melted
and so I'll wait 'till next year
to fall on my ass
by Raptus Regaliter
acedia or say
apathy is sloth but who
the hell came up with
the seven deadlies
we know the seven words you
can't say on the air
George carlin...saw him
long long time ago irl
quite a show it was
by vhs
well the show must go
on even when the actors pass
away, new ones come
by vhs
don't give yourself too
much credit, I enjoy your
"evil" I just want
my own evil to
be as entertaining and
I put up with it
by vhs
Blah Blah fuckin' blah.
Fuckin' blah dee blah blah blah.
Blah fuckin' blah fart.
--vhs
Oooo, I'm so evil.
I can write a bunch of crap.
I'm Satan's rival.
All war is my fault.
Starvation and sickness too.
And there's apathy.
Of all the evil
apathy is the worst one.
And it's all my fault.
All the world's evil,
It is all because of me.
You read it here first.
by Darth Figpucker is the cause of all evil, war, pollution, hatred, apathy, starvation, sickness, captchas, SPAM, and Justin Beiber.
what is troubling
is we put on these folks who
act, sing, write, play, dance
a cross, a godhood
and to find that image dashed
by word, deed and song
by vhs
celebrities do
things that make celebrity
news broadcasts celeb
by vhs
then again all I
have to do is shut this off
and find other things
by vhs
maybe I just want
a whiskey sour and just
try to haiku post
several answers
to the several answers
I would get on here
by vhs
then again a few
prayers here and there do make
people wonder why
what's the point, maybe
it's a replacement for say
worry or jerk offs...
by vhs
I want to die with
a mouth full of tobacco
and a whiskey sour
by vhs