Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 47 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

end is growing near
why bother opening eyes
out of yum donuts!
Haiku # 53387, February 26, 2016 8:04 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
the love of my life
I've looked for you for so long
unguarded donut
Haiku # 53386, February 26, 2016 8:04 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Sometimes even the
sysadmin's config change tests
must take haiku form.
Haiku # 53385, February 26, 2016 12:51 pm ET
by Adam
how many cycles of
history have ends of history
as stages?
Haiku # 53384, February 25, 2016 3:14 pm ET
by vhs
francis fukuyama
at one time a big book
author of the

"end of history"
now found with JW and ayn
rand books in goodwills
Haiku # 53383, February 25, 2016 3:04 pm ET
by vhs
How many assholes
does it take to tell a joke
to piss people off?

It only takes one.
Sort of like masturbation.
And you're good at it.

Just kidding, it's me.
Ha, I had you going there!
I am such a douche!

Hear the one about
the Irish guy who's well hung?
Of course you didn't!

vhs is bi.
Ash is a tri-sexual.
(He'll try anything.)

I'm quad-sexual.
I only screw quadrupeds.
Hence my cute nickname.
Haiku # 53382, February 25, 2016 3:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
i am jealous now
not a damned irish joke on
these web haiku...

the horror and the
irony and ancestry
where's the whiskey?????
Haiku # 53380, February 24, 2016 3:07 pm ET
by vhs
Did you hear the joke
'bout the mathematician?
That's 'cause there are none.

I often say that
"these dicks will not suck themselves"
when solving problems.

And, just like a whore,
I only take cash up front.
No cash, no answers.
Haiku # 53378, February 24, 2016 12:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well I'm bi so like
someone can say what a shock
that is to hear that
Haiku # 53377, February 23, 2016 10:49 am ET
by vhs
what ever happened
To the idiot nut job
who said we were gay
Haiku # 53376, February 23, 2016 7:40 am ET
by somanynamesused of UK
Still going then Ash
Perpetual Haiku
Persistent talent
Haiku # 53375, February 23, 2016 7:34 am ET
by Somanynamesused of UK
well I wonder if I
can make PI jokes about dick
circumference or

how one measures that
using geometry or what
would that make math class

more interesting?
Haiku # 53374, February 22, 2016 11:48 pm ET
by vhs
well someone has to
keep this place going at least
it is going on
Haiku # 53373, February 22, 2016 11:46 pm ET
by vhs
I only feel whored.
Sucking that math dick for cash.
I've got mouths to feed.
Haiku # 53372, February 22, 2016 9:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
from bored to restored
even though you feel ignored
suffer your reward
Haiku # 53371, February 22, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let's talk about sex
with Tyrannosaurus-Rex
but not tranny-rex.

Transvestite T-rex.
I bet she would give great head.
And then bite it off.

Sounds like an old Ex
Put hexes on our exes.
Chop them with axes.

That's plural of axe.
Not the plural of axis.
Back to fucking math.

The wrath of the math
I am a sociopath
like Sylvia Plath.

Fuck this.
Haiku # 53370, February 22, 2016 8:06 pm ET
by DF
downward spiral you
say, have I been speaking to
trent reznor all this

time???
Haiku # 53369, February 22, 2016 11:43 am ET
by vhs
it's mud season right
now, the dirt roads are too soft
or harden with freeze

what would beavis and butthead do at the utterance of the word "hard?"
Haiku # 53368, February 22, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
The awful fact that
evil is entertainment
makes me hate people.

Thus I am evil.
That's called a downward spiral.
Wheeeeee! What a fun ride!

I should run away.
Leave all the crap behind me,
and just go surfing.
Haiku # 53367, February 21, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, not of North Shore, but maybe some day.
The snow has melted
and so I'll wait 'till next year
to fall on my ass
Haiku # 53366, February 21, 2016 5:46 pm ET
by Raptus Regaliter
acedia or say
apathy is sloth but who
the hell came up with

the seven deadlies
we know the seven words you
can't say on the air

George carlin...saw him
long long time ago irl
quite a show it was
Haiku # 53365, February 21, 2016 12:32 pm ET
by vhs
well the show must go
on even when the actors pass
away, new ones come
Haiku # 53364, February 21, 2016 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
don't give yourself too
much credit, I enjoy your
"evil" I just want

my own evil to
be as entertaining and
I put up with it
Haiku # 53363, February 21, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
Blah Blah fuckin' blah.
Fuckin' blah dee blah blah blah.
Blah fuckin' blah fart.
--vhs

Oooo, I'm so evil.
I can write a bunch of crap.
I'm Satan's rival.

All war is my fault.
Starvation and sickness too.
And there's apathy.

Of all the evil
apathy is the worst one.
And it's all my fault.

All the world's evil,
It is all because of me.
You read it here first.
Haiku # 53362, February 20, 2016 5:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is the cause of all evil, war, pollution, hatred, apathy, starvation, sickness, captchas, SPAM, and Justin Beiber.
what is troubling
is we put on these folks who
act, sing, write, play, dance

a cross, a godhood
and to find that image dashed
by word, deed and song
Haiku # 53361, February 20, 2016 3:09 pm ET
by vhs
celebrities do
things that make celebrity
news broadcasts celeb
Haiku # 53360, February 20, 2016 3:03 pm ET
by vhs
then again all I
have to do is shut this off
and find other things
Haiku # 53359, February 20, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
maybe I just want
a whiskey sour and just
try to haiku post

several answers
to the several answers
I would get on here
Haiku # 53358, February 20, 2016 11:27 am ET
by vhs
then again a few
prayers here and there do make
people wonder why

what's the point, maybe
it's a replacement for say
worry or jerk offs...
Haiku # 53357, February 20, 2016 11:14 am ET
by vhs
I want to die with
a mouth full of tobacco
and a whiskey sour
Haiku # 53356, February 20, 2016 11:07 am ET
by vhs
I note that evil
often is unknown to those
whose loved ones

do not know about
what is happening until
something cracks through the wall
Haiku # 53355, February 20, 2016 11:01 am ET
by vhs
in that case it is
best to be thankful that I
am still alive

what about you
my dear evil poet when
will others write here?
Haiku # 53354, February 20, 2016 10:57 am ET
by vhs
If you die alone
with an unwritten poem
buried in your mind

Haiku # 53353, February 19, 2016 11:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is a lover of many farm animals
Metaphphysical
Mad monster monopoly
Making mankind mad
Haiku # 53352, February 19, 2016 9:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
when our poets were
not bukowski or Ginsburg
but the man who wrote

about stone soup, and the
concerns of life weren't this life
of so called adults...
Haiku # 53351, February 19, 2016 11:26 am ET
by vhs
what happens if I
post a kind of serious
haiku on here like sad
Haiku # 53350, February 19, 2016 11:23 am ET
by vhs
it's worn out the whole
I did not know you were a
bondage troll...whacky
Haiku # 53349, February 19, 2016 10:13 am ET
by vhs
Dog turd on the ground.
It had no footprint in it.
Until I passed by.
Haiku # 53348, February 18, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is a waste of oxygen.
well then we get to
the point where people enjoy
being spanked, fun huh
Haiku # 53346, February 18, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
Yeah, too late for that.
Some people are born boring.
They need to be spanked.
Haiku # 53345, February 18, 2016 2:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
there comes a time when
excess gets old and folks are
dead or survivors

scott weyland is dead
david grohl is not dead he
is still going now

either i will die
or i will survive and i
will become boring

if I'm not already
Haiku # 53344, February 18, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
well i suspect what
i find here is a bit of just
setting words in place
Haiku # 53343, February 18, 2016 2:08 pm ET
by vhs
I'd say about now.
If you want meaning in life,
you're in the wrong place.
Haiku # 53342, February 18, 2016 11:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
at what point does one
say fuck it and hang up the phone
and give up on this?
Haiku # 53341, February 18, 2016 11:00 am ET
by vhs
There's nothing wrong with
sexual attraction to
different species.

Panda bears are hot.
While goats and sheep are common.
Who's banged jellyfish?

That is what I thought.
My originality
cannot be beaten!

Seriously though.
I'm sure some Japanese chef
has beat me to it.
Haiku # 53340, February 18, 2016 5:58 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
My band played a club
the night after GWAR played there.
Green room was sticky.
Haiku # 53339, February 17, 2016 11:28 pm ET
by Eye shit hue knot. Memories of 1998
Trump wants the White House
so that he can screw us all...
and hot Russian girls.
Haiku # 53338, February 17, 2016 4:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
All joking aside,
Hillary wants the White House
to screw an intern.

Revenge is a dish
best written about in the
US Daily News.
Haiku # 53337, February 17, 2016 3:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
Good one 335!
Makes it goes shopping indeed!
That's hilarious!

Okay, so it's metal.
That's the topic of the week.
So who has seen GWAR?

I'm not into them;
they're somewhat juvenile.
but they make me laugh.

Though he's an old fart,
vhs likes ICP.
He's true Juggalo.
Haiku # 53336, February 17, 2016 3:41 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker
I admit I like
dr. dre and snoop dogg and
I'm a white boy from

new England and
miss the Chronic and most of
my music is like

Judas Priest love.
random plays like Beck so why
they don't kill me babe
Haiku # 53333, February 16, 2016 11:49 am ET
by vhs
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