Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 46 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Her soul ripped apart.
Babies' screams cut through the night.
Leaving nothing else.
Haiku # 53405, March 2, 2016 7:02 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Donald Trump's wet dream.
He is four hundred feet tall.
And butt-ass naked.

He scoops people up.
And shoves them right up his ass.
This will now happen.
Haiku # 53404, March 1, 2016 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Impending evil.
Dreams are more vivid than life.
How did this happen?

She looks delicious.
I'll drag her into my dreams.
Kicking and screaming.
Haiku # 53403, February 29, 2016 11:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What a bunch of shit!
You've said that how many times?
Please, go already!

But before you leave,
please take one of these with you:
PAARRROOTOOT PATOOT!

That was a huge fart.
Dinosauric gas blast.
Ginormous flatus.
Haiku # 53402, February 29, 2016 4:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'll not be back, I've
seen the light at the end of
the tunnel, train...bye
Haiku # 53401, February 29, 2016 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
burroughs did it
he called it Naked Lunch, I
should smack you sir. worse

I should pray for you.
Yes the old Chrijistsm bug
at least I'm not OHMing
Haiku # 53400, February 29, 2016 11:37 am ET
by vhs
I dream of prison,
of capture and punishment
for horrific crimes.

Upon my waking
The world seems ethereal;
I become a ghost.

I waken to this...
mundane caffeinated haze.
I am nobody.
Haiku # 53399, February 29, 2016 1:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Science is a lie.
Chem book say "You have 3 moles
of IF3 gas."

I don't have 3 moles
of iodine trifluoride
and I never did!

Presumptive assholes!
I mean, who the fuck has that?
Thank God they aren't cops!

You're under arrest!
You have 50 grams of coke!
Because we said so!

Stupid ass science.
I'll go back to the Bible.
Raining frogs; why not!
Haiku # 53398, February 28, 2016 5:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is not the owner of IF3
well I want to see
other people also post
haiku besides you

and myself here, just
I might have to drag some fet
people into here
Haiku # 53397, February 28, 2016 12:37 pm ET
by vhs
is this some guys long
on going project to himself
haiku on dark net?
Haiku # 53396, February 28, 2016 12:28 pm ET
by vhs
That is just so wrong.
You've crossed way over the line.
Never plant tulips!
Haiku # 53395, February 28, 2016 6:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hey! Don't you forget,
Tomorrow is extra day
Use it for poems...

or masturbation
or burying the bodies
or cleaning gutters

or calling parents
or returning stolen sheep
or planting tulips






Haiku # 53394, February 28, 2016 2:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Procrastination,
Sterilization Without
Representation
Haiku # 53393, February 28, 2016 2:12 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Men who fuck chickens,
contrary to what they say,
are chicken fuckers.

You would do well to
Remember that when you vote.
Plus Trump has dumb hair.
Haiku # 53392, February 27, 2016 8:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ukiah's a town
in Northern California.
They don't write haiku.
Haiku # 53391, February 27, 2016 8:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
You donut puncher.
Bavarian filled choco.
Traffic cop's bitch boy.
Haiku # 53390, February 27, 2016 7:55 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Now is the time for
all good men to come to the
aid of their country.
Haiku # 53389, February 27, 2016 3:16 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Palau
boo! out of donuts
cry in artisanal beer
our startup lifestyle
Haiku # 53388, February 26, 2016 8:05 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
end is growing near
why bother opening eyes
out of yum donuts!
Haiku # 53387, February 26, 2016 8:04 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
the love of my life
I've looked for you for so long
unguarded donut
Haiku # 53386, February 26, 2016 8:04 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Sometimes even the
sysadmin's config change tests
must take haiku form.
Haiku # 53385, February 26, 2016 12:51 pm ET
by Adam
how many cycles of
history have ends of history
as stages?
Haiku # 53384, February 25, 2016 3:14 pm ET
by vhs
francis fukuyama
at one time a big book
author of the

"end of history"
now found with JW and ayn
rand books in goodwills
Haiku # 53383, February 25, 2016 3:04 pm ET
by vhs
How many assholes
does it take to tell a joke
to piss people off?

It only takes one.
Sort of like masturbation.
And you're good at it.

Just kidding, it's me.
Ha, I had you going there!
I am such a douche!

Hear the one about
the Irish guy who's well hung?
Of course you didn't!

vhs is bi.
Ash is a tri-sexual.
(He'll try anything.)

I'm quad-sexual.
I only screw quadrupeds.
Hence my cute nickname.
Haiku # 53382, February 25, 2016 3:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
i am jealous now
not a damned irish joke on
these web haiku...

the horror and the
irony and ancestry
where's the whiskey?????
Haiku # 53380, February 24, 2016 3:07 pm ET
by vhs
Did you hear the joke
'bout the mathematician?
That's 'cause there are none.

I often say that
"these dicks will not suck themselves"
when solving problems.

And, just like a whore,
I only take cash up front.
No cash, no answers.
Haiku # 53378, February 24, 2016 12:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well I'm bi so like
someone can say what a shock
that is to hear that
Haiku # 53377, February 23, 2016 10:49 am ET
by vhs
what ever happened
To the idiot nut job
who said we were gay
Haiku # 53376, February 23, 2016 7:40 am ET
by somanynamesused of UK
Still going then Ash
Perpetual Haiku
Persistent talent
Haiku # 53375, February 23, 2016 7:34 am ET
by Somanynamesused of UK
well I wonder if I
can make PI jokes about dick
circumference or

how one measures that
using geometry or what
would that make math class

more interesting?
Haiku # 53374, February 22, 2016 11:48 pm ET
by vhs
well someone has to
keep this place going at least
it is going on
Haiku # 53373, February 22, 2016 11:46 pm ET
by vhs
I only feel whored.
Sucking that math dick for cash.
I've got mouths to feed.
Haiku # 53372, February 22, 2016 9:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
from bored to restored
even though you feel ignored
suffer your reward
Haiku # 53371, February 22, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let's talk about sex
with Tyrannosaurus-Rex
but not tranny-rex.

Transvestite T-rex.
I bet she would give great head.
And then bite it off.

Sounds like an old Ex
Put hexes on our exes.
Chop them with axes.

That's plural of axe.
Not the plural of axis.
Back to fucking math.

The wrath of the math
I am a sociopath
like Sylvia Plath.

Fuck this.
Haiku # 53370, February 22, 2016 8:06 pm ET
by DF
downward spiral you
say, have I been speaking to
trent reznor all this

time???
Haiku # 53369, February 22, 2016 11:43 am ET
by vhs
it's mud season right
now, the dirt roads are too soft
or harden with freeze

what would beavis and butthead do at the utterance of the word "hard?"
Haiku # 53368, February 22, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
The awful fact that
evil is entertainment
makes me hate people.

Thus I am evil.
That's called a downward spiral.
Wheeeeee! What a fun ride!

I should run away.
Leave all the crap behind me,
and just go surfing.
Haiku # 53367, February 21, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, not of North Shore, but maybe some day.
The snow has melted
and so I'll wait 'till next year
to fall on my ass
Haiku # 53366, February 21, 2016 5:46 pm ET
by Raptus Regaliter
acedia or say
apathy is sloth but who
the hell came up with

the seven deadlies
we know the seven words you
can't say on the air

George carlin...saw him
long long time ago irl
quite a show it was
Haiku # 53365, February 21, 2016 12:32 pm ET
by vhs
well the show must go
on even when the actors pass
away, new ones come
Haiku # 53364, February 21, 2016 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
don't give yourself too
much credit, I enjoy your
"evil" I just want

my own evil to
be as entertaining and
I put up with it
Haiku # 53363, February 21, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
Blah Blah fuckin' blah.
Fuckin' blah dee blah blah blah.
Blah fuckin' blah fart.
--vhs

Oooo, I'm so evil.
I can write a bunch of crap.
I'm Satan's rival.

All war is my fault.
Starvation and sickness too.
And there's apathy.

Of all the evil
apathy is the worst one.
And it's all my fault.

All the world's evil,
It is all because of me.
You read it here first.
Haiku # 53362, February 20, 2016 5:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is the cause of all evil, war, pollution, hatred, apathy, starvation, sickness, captchas, SPAM, and Justin Beiber.
what is troubling
is we put on these folks who
act, sing, write, play, dance

a cross, a godhood
and to find that image dashed
by word, deed and song
Haiku # 53361, February 20, 2016 3:09 pm ET
by vhs
celebrities do
things that make celebrity
news broadcasts celeb
Haiku # 53360, February 20, 2016 3:03 pm ET
by vhs
then again all I
have to do is shut this off
and find other things
Haiku # 53359, February 20, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
maybe I just want
a whiskey sour and just
try to haiku post

several answers
to the several answers
I would get on here
Haiku # 53358, February 20, 2016 11:27 am ET
by vhs
then again a few
prayers here and there do make
people wonder why

what's the point, maybe
it's a replacement for say
worry or jerk offs...
Haiku # 53357, February 20, 2016 11:14 am ET
by vhs
I want to die with
a mouth full of tobacco
and a whiskey sour
Haiku # 53356, February 20, 2016 11:07 am ET
by vhs
I note that evil
often is unknown to those
whose loved ones

do not know about
what is happening until
something cracks through the wall
Haiku # 53355, February 20, 2016 11:01 am ET
by vhs
in that case it is
best to be thankful that I
am still alive

what about you
my dear evil poet when
will others write here?
Haiku # 53354, February 20, 2016 10:57 am ET
by vhs
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