my face rots off and
yet I say nothing and death
may come for me soon
by vhs
and to close as some
guy thinks to think I don't know
well i don't know, and
I care too much, but
I am a voice in the wind
and other cliches
I don't know him and
he doesn't know me the whole
web world experience
by vhs
Whitecaps on the bay:
A broken signboard banging
In the April wind.
by Richard Wright (not the one from Pink Floyd)
Over the wintry
forest, winds howl in rage
with no leaves to blow.
by Soseki
An old silent pond...
A frog jumps into the pond,
splash! Silence again.
by Basho
*sing, not sign.
W's the only multi-
syllable letter.
by Anonymous Poet
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p
q r s t u
v w x y z
now i know my a
b c's next time won't
u sing with me? Hell, no way!
I won't sign with you!
by too silly
My rectum hangs down.
About 1 inch past asshole.
It bleeds when I shit.
Part of getting old.
It's now difficult to wipe.
So I use water.
Wiping Asian style.
Water down your crack and scrub.
Saves toilet paper.
by DF of Wow... are these BAD haiku or what???
Here we go again.
Hard-on pills for VHS.
Get your credit card.
I tried Viagra.
It made me cum too quickly.
My heart was racing.
I wish that they'd sell
Premy ejaculate pills
so I'd last longer.
by evi1 - a novel about you
Phallic fallacy
The fallacy of all dicks
And their pen-is words.
You claim to know God.
And even His very thoughts.
This just insults Him.
I am the I am.
And you are not the I am.
You are just church Spam.
by Anonymous Poet
this is one of those
places the internet was
and should be, not flat
bland, commercial crap
but ontario natives
don't llke maine fried crap
by vhs
be joyous loudly
but if you won't be happy
be sad quietly
by ash
what frickin' fallacy
was that, if you're fake then you're
your own God therefore
will Mudd's Androids have
a nervous breakdown watching
us both rant on here?
by vhs
ah shit, what's the point
it's time to let others speak
get out of the way
(that goes for you too you damned socialist)
by vhs
Okay, wait a sec.
What the fuck are "rape apples"?!
You mean "ripe apples"?
I'm sure can't rape
an inanimate object;
it cannot object.
by DF
VHS needs to
go take some cheap Viagra
advertised below.
He can have my wife.
She's bored with me anyway.
My dick is too small.
Of course God is fake.
We make Him in Our image.
And if we're fake, then...
So, I'm a phony.
Therefore God's a phony too.
Do you understand?
"Science, save us all."
No, it just doesn't sound right.
Too dry and boring.
I'd rather worship
A God that's nonexistent
than science that's real.
But if science can
give me a porn star's penis,
then I'll worship it.
My wife falls asleep
when I'm right on top of her
and banging away.
Next time I will tell
you all about my prolapsed
and bleeding sphincter.
By the way, I'm old.
Maybe even more than you.
Soon I'll wear Depends.
by DF
what good does barking
like a small dog do to seem how
big one seems to sound
by vhs
basic shit, how I feel
now is get the fuck out of here
never post here again
and let these guys spew
whatever their problem is
with whatever it is they're
bitching at because
they're extroverts, don't know how
to shut the fuck up
and if they were in a room
with a loaded handgun and a book
the silence would cause
them to blow their own
brains out because they seem
to think people want to
hear their bullshit about
american capitalism or their latest
insight on science and how
fake God is, I just
want to shut up and not even
see you anymore because
I don't not believe in God
and you could put a bullet
through my head in the name
of some utopian socialism or whatever the fuck it is you believe in but I suspect
very much you're never
going to be happy and the apetite
is cannibalistic, satanic and destructive
by vhs
all I know is some
serbian 20 something like
me years ago posts
angry fucking comments
on a website which is a bbs
meant for haiku and
such and I want a world
without internet access
so I don't have to hear you
by vhs
ZRELE JABUKE
U PLETENOJ KORPI SU
UZINA DECI
RAPE APPLES
IN A WOVEN BASKET ARE
A SNACK FOR CHILDREN
ZARUMENELA
NA ZIMI JEDE CRVENU
SMRZNUTU JABUKU
RED-CHEEKED
IN WINTER SHE EATS
A FROZEN APPLE
by Tatjana Debeljacki of Srbija
I hate not sleeping.
Caffeine, like, sooo kicks my ass.
Now it's time for work.
by Darth Figpucker of Humping the American Dream.
Here's a great idea.
Fill your safe deposit box
up with rotting meat.
by Anonymous Poet
Punks, rate your spray paint.
One for white, ten for gold.
Huffability.
Include the name brand,
color code, huffing method,
and how often huffed.
by evi1 - a novel about you of Rummaging through VHS's garbage can for something to eat.
I realized that I
like to read and I may not be
so good at the part
where I need to set
words down on something and would
rather not share them
by vhs
I just want to be.
My life will not allow this.
And so I vent thus.
I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.
by Buy Cheap Hardon Pills so Your Wife Will be Happy. of Not where I want to be.
as one might expect
it's always been bad haiku
now it's even worse
by ash
my dear sir, if your
nuts work then you'd be nuts to
think they are not nuts
at least squirrels aren't
trying to store them for lunch
in future winters
by vhs
have u attempted to
read haruki murakami
I tried, I think I
just might like it but
I like amon amarth too, so
christian who likes sci fi
and death metal and surreal
japanese writers...
I have been commanded by God to post this, I have no choice, wink wink
but we need more haiku, seriously
by vhs
I should like you to
hear megadeth say et tu le monde
but raise your chartruse
to your rewind, please dig
maybe a man of faith is for
once, on your side more so
than you realize
by vhs
No, in frustration
he takes his hand out to play
with his own small nuts.
I speak from experience.
I found my novel on Scribd! Some Indian nut (hey, we were just talking about nuts!) uploaded it to Scribd. I might have fans! Holy beeping beep! But he calls it "All About Coffee". Somewhat of a misnomer, but I can live with that. Originally I wanted it untitled. C'est la morte. A little death never killed anyone. (Yes, that's a play on words if you know the french meaning.)
by All About Coffee of On the outer moon of the 5th planet of Betelgeuse. Yes, I have my towel.
when stuck in a trap
does the monkey take his hand
out to leave the nut?
by vhs
my paper is blank
reflecting the candidates
and their policies
by ash
Paul Reubens is the greatest actor on Earth. The aliens come here to see him perform.
Damn "location" field is truncated to just a few words. Oh well.
by Darth Durrrrth
If you have never
done masturbation tango,
then you haven't lived.
The dance floor's sticky
like a porn theater's floor.
Mopping isn't fun.
But the dance itself
is, well, it's spooge-a-rific!
Yes, that is a word.
by Darth Spoogefountain. of Mopping the floor inside a Nevada porn theater after Paul Reubens and three aliens visited last night. Paul Reubens is the grea
once I wrote some shit
and nobody gave a shit
shit, neither did I
by Lush
takes two to tango
one to masturbate but the
real kick is zero
by vhs
that's more like it
hurrah hurrah huzzah
catching on baby
but god damned if we
had to have a talented psychopath
writing cocaine laden sarcasm
by vhs
I had a car wreck.
I now hate life even more.
I should have just died.
God's an evil clown.
Laughing at my misfortune.
I hope he's happy.
LOL... no, I just like writing misery and depression to piss off VHS and his Jesus-freak attitude. ;-)
by Anonymous Poet
A conservative is someone who wants to keep their money and not share with others and has a stick up their ass.
A liberal wants others to give him their money and enjoys putting sticks up other peoples asses.
A socialist wants the govt. to run like a company that loses money by selling sticks that are anally approved and by doing so loses money.
Anarchists also like to take other ppl's money, like liberals, but do not use the govt. to do so; they are more direct and brutal with their sticks. You don't want one of these guys putting a stick up your bum! They also don't count the syllables in haiku.
Chicken fucker: a man who on occasion has been known to fuck a chicken or two; the newest political party. They have nothing to do with putting sticks in your butt.
by The last toilet seat that Pres. Richard Nixon ever used.
just enjoy it, the time
you get into a car wreck and
realize life in precious
you might give your own
foul evil liberal philosophy more
humanity to it
by vhs
suck my tristan tzara
I'm a dadaist too
i just happen to be conservative
by vhs
I'm on the right you
remember? no socialist.
god socialists are
assholes for a "good cause" offer me
something better you
god damned need to start investing and stop protesting, or investing as a form of protesting
by idealism can make a person a total asshole who tried to keep kids from enjoying their unhealthy but favorite cereals and I think of vhs
of course we could say
these people have no talent
to begin with but :)
they can say that of
me too and how much I suck
boz scaggs is on now
by vhs
you have to admit
the guy has a twisted poetic
mind, but I wonder
when these sorts just plug
along coldly will have the metaphorical
clot of the needle
of the soul
by vhs
you can agonise
but at the end of the day
it's still bad haiku
by ash