ZRELE JABUKE
U PLETENOJ KORPI SU
UZINA DECI

RAPE APPLES
IN A WOVEN BASKET ARE
A SNACK FOR CHILDREN

ZARUMENELA
NA ZIMI JEDE CRVENU
SMRZNUTU JABUKU

RED-CHEEKED
IN WINTER SHE EATS
A FROZEN APPLE

I hate not sleeping.
Caffeine, like, sooo kicks my ass.
Now it's time for work.

Here's a great idea.
Fill your safe deposit box
up with rotting meat.

Punks, rate your spray paint.
One for white, ten for gold.
Huffability.

Include the name brand,
color code, huffing method,
and how often huffed.

I realized that I
like to read and I may not be
so good at the part

where I need to set
words down on something and would
rather not share them

I just want to be.
My life will not allow this.
And so I vent thus.

I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.

as one might expect
it's always been bad haiku
now it's even worse

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my dear sir, if your
nuts work then you'd be nuts to
think they are not nuts

at least squirrels aren't
trying to store them for lunch
in future winters

have u attempted to
read haruki murakami
I tried, I think I

just might like it but
I like amon amarth too, so
christian who likes sci fi

and death metal and surreal
japanese writers...

I have been commanded by God to post this, I have no choice, wink wink

but we need more haiku, seriously

I should like you to
hear megadeth say et tu le monde
but raise your chartruse

to your rewind, please dig
maybe a man of faith is for
once, on your side more so

than you realize

No, in frustration
he takes his hand out to play
with his own small nuts.

I speak from experience.

I found my novel on Scribd! Some Indian nut (hey, we were just talking about nuts!) uploaded it to Scribd. I might have fans! Holy beeping beep! But he calls it "All About Coffee". Somewhat of a misnomer, but I can live with that. Originally I wanted it untitled. C'est la morte. A little death never killed anyone. (Yes, that's a play on words if you know the french meaning.)

when stuck in a trap
does the monkey take his hand
out to leave the nut?

my paper is blank
reflecting the candidates
and their policies

Me too.

i give up

Paul Reubens is the greatest actor on Earth. The aliens come here to see him perform.

Damn "location" field is truncated to just a few words. Oh well.

If you have never
done masturbation tango,
then you haven't lived.

The dance floor's sticky
like a porn theater's floor.
Mopping isn't fun.

But the dance itself
is, well, it's spooge-a-rific!
Yes, that is a word.

once I wrote some shit
and nobody gave a shit
shit, neither did I

takes two to tango
one to masturbate but the
real kick is zero

that's more like it
hurrah hurrah huzzah
catching on baby

but god damned if we
had to have a talented psychopath
writing cocaine laden sarcasm

I had a car wreck.
I now hate life even more.
I should have just died.

God's an evil clown.
Laughing at my misfortune.
I hope he's happy.

LOL... no, I just like writing misery and depression to piss off VHS and his Jesus-freak attitude. ;-)

A conservative is someone who wants to keep their money and not share with others and has a stick up their ass.

A liberal wants others to give him their money and enjoys putting sticks up other peoples asses.

A socialist wants the govt. to run like a company that loses money by selling sticks that are anally approved and by doing so loses money.

Anarchists also like to take other ppl's money, like liberals, but do not use the govt. to do so; they are more direct and brutal with their sticks. You don't want one of these guys putting a stick up your bum! They also don't count the syllables in haiku.

Chicken fucker: a man who on occasion has been known to fuck a chicken or two; the newest political party. They have nothing to do with putting sticks in your butt.

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just enjoy it, the time
you get into a car wreck and
realize life in precious

you might give your own
foul evil liberal philosophy more
humanity to it

suck my tristan tzara
I'm a dadaist too
i just happen to be conservative

I'm on the right you
remember? no socialist.

god socialists are
assholes for a "good cause" offer me
something better you

god damned need to start investing and stop protesting, or investing as a form of protesting

of course we could say
these people have no talent
to begin with but :)

they can say that of
me too and how much I suck
boz scaggs is on now

you have to admit
the guy has a twisted poetic
mind, but I wonder

when these sorts just plug
along coldly will have the metaphorical
clot of the needle

of the soul

you can agonise
but at the end of the day
it's still bad haiku

what is the sound of
all these internet haiku?
one old man farting.

Star Wars given to
Oliver Stone or Quintin
Tarantino. Yup.

Fuck, time to wake up.
Get the little turds to school.
Come home and shoot up.

Jar-Jar Binks should be
a junkie in the new Star
Wars episodes. Yup.

Resistance is Fu-
tile, puerile, textile, senile.
Buy a new towel.

The spaceships are here.
So where is your fucking towel?
The answer: 42.

Jesus: the answer.
"Who stole my ounce of pot?!"
Yes, it was Jesus.

ENOUGH! FUCK 5-7-5! 365. These haiku are dead, not alive. Frankenstein animated lifeless electric digital shit for brains cow humping redneck mindless. There's no soul and they won't get to heaven or hell. These haiku will simply rot like my underwear that haven't been washed in 2 weeks. Thus I sign off to go read my Bible. You should too.

I will resist you
and I will continue to do
what I feel I must

if this isn't a cheap
ass shot of zen in the rear
I don't know what is

when does the joke die
in the throat and the voice of
a loved one is gone

but ye never knew
love then what values are
there but entropy

junk filled veins and the
rootless life of the city
moment by moment

nothing else, nelson algren,
iceberg slim, etc etc

a man who probably
embodies the fraction of
a shattered persona

versus a man who
desires to bring these gragments
to a whole, but the

sagas of star wars and
stories about beowulf from
grendel's pov...

the spoken word gave
to stone then to print, then to this
words can heal and

they can curse and they can lie

we grew up on star
wars, in a time when the boom
was waning and the

drive in was to change
to empty ruin, I met
darth vader as

a child, nothing to
report except legends come
to life, for will this

land of america
have a kalevala or
just a facebook set

all that will be lost
and the irony is no
one cares, I must take

up the sword and do
the thing that you do not wish
me to do, even

at pain of death and
I mean that quite literally
if you knew me...

I can only ask.
What purpose to be a tree?
God has made it so.

You can question why.
There is no other purpose.
Accept it or not.

Let all be as is.
Then you will find happiness.
And quit poetry.

;-)

Death to Mickey Mouse.
They stopped the clone wars series!
Kill their CEO!

Asshole: (1) An orifice that voids the body of unwanted waste. (2) A person who gets on poetry websites to write poems insulting poets and laughing when they let it get to them.

I fantasize about being 500 feet tall and using ppl I don't like for a suppository. As I fart them out, they would blast out of my anus like a human cannonball and splatter against tall buildings or brick walls. I guess, I fantasize about being the ultimate anus. Alas, I am but a lowly worm.

Speaking of worms!... A gay guy once described "worming"... letting an earthworm crawl into your urethra. I bet that feels great!... I'm signing off now. I think there are some fresh dingleberry pies about to come out of the oven.

then you'd better fucking explain to me what the whole point in being an asshole is in the first place

LOL @ U.
I go to church on Sunday.
It's fun to believe!

Jesus is my friend!
But he won't loan me money.
He knows me too well.

If you let assholes
like me get under your skin,
you will smell like shit.

Pores reek of feces.
Honey won't drip from your tongue.
Instead you breath farts.

Science is stupid.
I'd rather be a caveman
hunter gatherer.

Drawing animals.
Some tubers for the clay pot.
And a bit of meat.

Ignorance is bliss.
Knowledge can only bring pain.
Lobotomize me!

dorian grey prob.
is having a laugh at all of
our ugly hidden

pictures

I am tempted just
to say fuck it and let this guy
rant on about how

great that he's not
a poet and how fuck ward wonderful
his belief in science is

because he's too much of
a douche to let others
be themselves because

he thinks he's superior
by being a non believer

ok back to poetry

"Do you have belief?"
I have belief in the queef.
It smells like a reef.

It's the vaginal "thanks."
Sounds like whoopie cushion pranks.
From nice girls or skanks.

They're fun to record
on your cell phone when you're bored.
In i-tunes it's stored.

Well, what do you know!
Fuck me, the spammers are back!
"Please buy my shit now!"

Pulling my finger,
I fart into their fat mouths,
inflating their lungs.

Giving them new breath,
they spread across this bad world,
my undead army.

Infectious zombies,
Sending out advertisements
for cheap Viagra.

I want their money.
But they don't know how to share.
Slimy little fucks.

Well, at least they aren't poets.

your streams of conscious-
ness appear to have repeat-
edly neglected

the tying togeth-
er of three discrete ide
-as, one to each line

otherwise it's real-
ly just prose broken arbit-
rarily in three

devoid of reason
and absent explanation
voided my bowels

well given the world
we live in a place like this
gives us space to breathe

content malfunction
epidermal eruption
who gives in the end

please rule by my thumb
ignore it and it shall flee
house remains empty