Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 79 Days and 78057 Haiku later...
what is missing is
that sense of variety
to see, to touch, i've
Haiku # 50044 August 27, 2013 10:58 pm ET
by vhs
Obama said that.
"Please give me your vote for change."
When he meant "spare change".

I'll get a sex change.
And then be a lesbian.
Damn, South Park did it.

I'll change my Depends.
What does an old man taste like?
Depends!... Ewww! Effing gross!
Haiku # 50043 August 27, 2013 6:16 pm ET
by Darth TeaBagger for legalized acid crack of Inglewood, CA crackhouse
when the bright and new
shiny thing doesn't sell no
more, expect a change
Haiku # 50042 August 27, 2013 3:41 pm ET
by vhs
a real page turner
the digital moloch eats
everything it finds
Haiku # 50041 August 27, 2013 1:39 pm ET
by vhs
classified my ass
you damn loki, get over
here and feed me now
Haiku # 50040 August 27, 2013 1:34 pm ET
by vhs
It is classified.
Need to know basis only.
You don't need to know!
Haiku # 50039 August 27, 2013 1:00 pm ET
by Darth FartMachine of What's your favorite barnyard animal on Saturday night?
well did that conform
to standards or was that an
automatic haiku
Haiku # 50038 August 27, 2013 11:26 am ET
by vhs
█████████
███████████████
█████████
Haiku # 50037 August 27, 2013 10:53 am ET
by NSA Haiku
people often look
in reaction for what they want
lawyers interpret
Haiku # 50036 August 27, 2013 8:21 am ET
by vhs
half apparatus
has shafted the last of us
imagine past this
Haiku # 50035 August 27, 2013 4:35 am ET
by Lush
awoke with a start
dreamt my mother was Jewish
quoth, "I do declare."
Haiku # 50034 August 27, 2013 4:31 am ET
by Lush
tribe superior
by def: rest inferior
murder ev'ryone
Haiku # 50033 August 27, 2013 4:29 am ET
by Lush
haven't offended
haven't thought... most serious
'tis global warfare
Haiku # 50032 August 27, 2013 4:25 am ET
by Lush
one brother is one
one brother is another
sisters remittent
Haiku # 50031 August 27, 2013 4:24 am ET
by Lush
schnikes... I forgot
reproduce and saturate
doctor, lawyer, thief
Haiku # 50030 August 27, 2013 4:22 am ET
by Lush
intellectual?
toss that shit and live your life
dance before demise
Haiku # 50029 August 27, 2013 4:20 am ET
by Lush
anti semitic?
perhaps I am the ruin
least i'm not asian
Haiku # 50028 August 27, 2013 4:18 am ET
by Lush
as for ou812
well van halen, so long back
my introduction to

sammy hagar and
said rockers, now my words are
david lee roth? oi
Haiku # 50027 August 27, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs of wonders if I should sign in as "vh"
well I was afraid
I would draw the tower card
but some asshole put

the wild draw four card
from the uno deck in my set
games people play
Haiku # 50026 August 27, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
LOL @ U!!!
U b-leave N tarot cards!
U, sir, R D card!

OICU812

Anyone ever see that chimp video where he scratches his butt, sniffs his finger, then falls over backwards out of a tree? That's the way I feel after reading this website.
Haiku # 50025 August 27, 2013 1:36 am ET
by Darth Chimpbuttscratcher of Click to see the u-tube vid of the chimp.
so that's the truth of
the colonel's secret spices
after all this time...

by the way zero
in the tarot is the "fool"
look it up yourself
Haiku # 50024 August 26, 2013 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
I believe in zip;
nothing, nada, nullity.
I worship zero.

It defines us all.
Zero is the start and end;
the true mystery.

Unfathomable.
What "nothing" exactly means,
We are ignorant.








And I still enjoy fucking a chicken or two every Saturday afternoon. Remember that the next time you eat Colonel. ;-)
Haiku # 50023 August 26, 2013 2:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Hills of Tennessee
true believers can
often be some of the biggest
roadblocks in life
Haiku # 50022 August 26, 2013 1:19 am ET
by vhs
I want your empty V
HS. MTVHS Tivo Beavis and Butthead.
Fuck haiku and the Nippos that invented them.
5-7-5 is gay.
I prefer South Park.

Rebel against numbers. Do the numbers care? 42.
Haiku # 50021 August 25, 2013 2:55 pm ET
by Darth Bifurcating Figpucker Poo of Smithsonian Institute Exhibit of Stinky People
must have something to
do with thinking rebellion
for rebellion's sake

is a reason for
the whole enterprise and thus
I want my MTV haiku
Haiku # 50020 August 25, 2013 8:59 am ET
by vhs
Farts make me happy.
Especially when in church.
Muffled laughs echo.

A Tri-Delta smelt a fart from my ass wholly disgusted and perturbed by the disturbed misbehavior of my super-intelligent sphincter that stinked her out of the room with a sonic... BOOM!...
Or two... or three... or FOUR!...
She slammed the damned door like the plastic Barbie whore she is!
My, but my butt has its very own mind where you step please; you snooze, you'll lose your shoes. SPLAT!

(If you've never farted on and then stolen the shoes off a drunken sorority girl, you've never truly lived).
Haiku # 50019 August 24, 2013 5:06 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about farts of attired uticesi
I ate bad tacos.
I made bifurcating poo.
It was really gross.
Haiku # 50018 August 23, 2013 3:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
oh poop, and here we
are throwing ideas like those
primates throwing poo

was there a teletubby named poo?
Haiku # 50017 August 23, 2013 1:36 am ET
by vhs
kaleidoscopic
telecommunication
observatory.

justifiable
pseudointellectual
impenetrability.

arbitrarily
parallelepipedal
geometrical
Haiku # 50016 August 22, 2013 6:40 pm ET
by BifurcatingPoo of digital potty sanitation engineer
the last minute, the
slump, forecast of doom it tells
what of history

how much has it been
said something will fail when years
later the thing goes on
Haiku # 50015 August 22, 2013 1:52 pm ET
by vhs
can we do haiku
about breakfast cereal
in honor of seinfeld?
Haiku # 50014 August 22, 2013 1:57 am ET
by vhs
well given the world
we live in a place like this
gives us space to breathe
Haiku # 50013 August 22, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
Oh circumcision!
Literally a rip-off
Followed by bagels
Haiku # 50012 August 21, 2013 7:45 pm ET
by C.H. Nissan
Interesting fact:
First definition of "Geek":
man who screws chickens.

Or bites their heads off
as part of a circus show.
Now it means a nerd.

How did this happen?
Either way applies to me.
See the video.
Haiku # 50011 August 21, 2013 3:11 pm ET
by Chicken Fucker on YouTube of Sumo wrestler with diarrhea
and like a certain
subaru may it go for
100,000 more hits
Haiku # 50010 August 21, 2013 12:54 pm ET
by vhs
go you bad haiku
raging after all these years
well who'da thunk it ?
Haiku # 50009 August 21, 2013 9:08 am ET
by ash
Congratulations,
Bad Haiku on reaching yet
another milestone.
Haiku # 50008 August 21, 2013 8:20 am ET
by Adam
irony is chic
still to me, not dead but a
tradition, well worn
Haiku # 50007 August 21, 2013 6:32 am ET
by vhs
politics aside
I have older fashioned views
I am likely to

become silent, think
data is a dead thing to me
welcome to the machine

but this is janis's webby
let's back to haiku
Haiku # 50006 August 21, 2013 6:31 am ET
by vhs
Ooo...
I found a new link.
To download my evil book.
Click on the link here.

It's just a word doc.
Not a computer virus.
Just a brain virus.
Haiku # 50005 August 21, 2013 12:38 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Planet Rupert
Considering the deforestation of the planet, I'm not against e-books. Considering e-books allows small time people to publish and be read/discovered. Considering publishers get 90% of profits.... Yeah, I don't like brick & mortar.
Haiku # 50004 August 21, 2013 12:12 am ET
by who cares.
On a single Nook
I can fit a thousand books.
Now just have a look.
Haiku # 50003 August 21, 2013 12:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fifty K haiku.
Fall into oblivion.
What else should we do?
Haiku # 50002 August 21, 2013 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
think think? who thinks when
my smartphone can think for me
come to think oh I

don't have one
Haiku # 50001 August 20, 2013 10:32 pm ET
by vhs
generation x said
to generation y y
bother, 50,000
Haiku # 50000 August 20, 2013 10:31 pm ET
by vhs
the ego can't hide
from the id, as it would be
freud not dear sir, mom!!!!
Haiku # 49999 August 20, 2013 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of cut and paste
it's coming, aj
abrams whatever he does
some film, who cares? oh

laws of power aside...
Haiku # 49998 August 20, 2013 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
like the man in the
x wing said..."almost there" then
darth vader shot

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....boom
Haiku # 49997 August 20, 2013 10:27 pm ET
by vhs
what you think us those
ewoks? I will be pleased with
my own ayn rand spasm...
Haiku # 49996 August 20, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
alas poor piggy, thus
the growth doth word accounts thus
bricks, mortar, shame
Haiku # 49995 August 20, 2013 10:25 pm ET
by vhs