so that's the truth of
the colonel's secret spices
after all this time...

by the way zero
in the tarot is the "fool"
look it up yourself

I believe in zip;
nothing, nada, nullity.
I worship zero.

It defines us all.
Zero is the start and end;
the true mystery.

Unfathomable.
What "nothing" exactly means,
We are ignorant.








And I still enjoy fucking a chicken or two every Saturday afternoon. Remember that the next time you eat Colonel. ;-)

true believers can
often be some of the biggest
roadblocks in life

I want your empty V
HS. MTVHS Tivo Beavis and Butthead.
Fuck haiku and the Nippos that invented them.
5-7-5 is gay.
I prefer South Park.

Rebel against numbers. Do the numbers care? 42.

must have something to
do with thinking rebellion
for rebellion's sake

is a reason for
the whole enterprise and thus
I want my MTV haiku

Farts make me happy.
Especially when in church.
Muffled laughs echo.

A Tri-Delta smelt a fart from my ass wholly disgusted and perturbed by the disturbed misbehavior of my super-intelligent sphincter that stinked her out of the room with a sonic... BOOM!...
Or two... or three... or FOUR!...
She slammed the damned door like the plastic Barbie whore she is!
My, but my butt has its very own mind where you step please; you snooze, you'll lose your shoes. SPLAT!

(If you've never farted on and then stolen the shoes off a drunken sorority girl, you've never truly lived).

I ate bad tacos.
I made bifurcating poo.
It was really gross.

oh poop, and here we
are throwing ideas like those
primates throwing poo

was there a teletubby named poo?

kaleidoscopic
telecommunication
observatory.

justifiable
pseudointellectual
impenetrability.

arbitrarily
parallelepipedal
geometrical

the last minute, the
slump, forecast of doom it tells
what of history

how much has it been
said something will fail when years
later the thing goes on

can we do haiku
about breakfast cereal
in honor of seinfeld?

well given the world
we live in a place like this
gives us space to breathe

Oh circumcision!
Literally a rip-off
Followed by bagels

Interesting fact:
First definition of "Geek":
man who screws chickens.

Or bites their heads off
as part of a circus show.
Now it means a nerd.

How did this happen?
Either way applies to me.
See the video.

and like a certain
subaru may it go for
100,000 more hits

go you bad haiku
raging after all these years
well who'da thunk it ?

Congratulations,
Bad Haiku on reaching yet
another milestone.

irony is chic
still to me, not dead but a
tradition, well worn

politics aside
I have older fashioned views
I am likely to

become silent, think
data is a dead thing to me
welcome to the machine

but this is janis's webby
let's back to haiku

Ooo...
I found a new link.
To download my evil book.
Click on the link here.

It's just a word doc.
Not a computer virus.
Just a brain virus.

Considering the deforestation of the planet, I'm not against e-books. Considering e-books allows small time people to publish and be read/discovered. Considering publishers get 90% of profits.... Yeah, I don't like brick & mortar.

On a single Nook
I can fit a thousand books.
Now just have a look.

Fifty K haiku.
Fall into oblivion.
What else should we do?

think think? who thinks when
my smartphone can think for me
come to think oh I

don't have one

generation x said
to generation y y
bother, 50,000

the ego can't hide
from the id, as it would be
freud not dear sir, mom!!!!

it's coming, aj
abrams whatever he does
some film, who cares? oh

laws of power aside...

like the man in the
x wing said..."almost there" then
darth vader shot

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....boom

what you think us those
ewoks? I will be pleased with
my own ayn rand spasm...

alas poor piggy, thus
the growth doth word accounts thus
bricks, mortar, shame

yes I've heard it all
before and you're going to
have me sign your book

"rewind"

But think, VHS.
Imagine the trees we'll save.
Trees we can live in!

Who needs to read books?!
Video games are better.
I'll wipe with Shakespear.

elmore leonard just
passed away and I will say
it's a crime he's gone

groovy, well let's get
on with the countdown then and
make it go fiddy

The countdown is on
The haiku odometer
Is about to roll

fast instant and no
way to disconnect the new
wave had crashed and washed

away my old culture

I think the paper
book is going the way of
the toilet paper

flush :(

"Mom, what is S & M?"
She thinks for a few seconds.
Then replies, "Beats me!"

I am told though that
a book a day keeps people
at bay, I was told

I was lost in a
world of symbols but sometimes
you just need to tell

people know thyself
and in some cases you need
to tell them fuck off

so does chewing um
tobacco oh I tried to
quit verily, my

face doth falleth off

Poets are grumpy
old men, and grumpy old men
are they, verily!

I am too bitter
about some kid making a joke
about the death of

books, addendum was
not enough, my spirit demands
he eat flesh, drink blood

but that's the stale old
wafers and grape juice of the
protestant ritual

that's how pissed I am

I should be working;
Not posting silly haiku.
That's my work ethic.

Uploading my book.
To Booksie dot com. What fun!
It shall offend all!

Hannibal Lecter;
my favorite character.
I like fava beans!


What do you call a banana that ate a banana?
....
A bananibal!

Hush, my high poo fiend;
bare your hard dick cheese, oh squeeze
guy secrete over.

what if I eat hannibal lecter?

You are what you eat
So I became a nacho
Please do not eat me

Lush, my haiku friend;
Share your hardened cheese, oh please
My secret lover

holy cows and goats
I like camembert at noon
and feta at nine