Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 79 Days and 78057 Haiku later...
Ooo...
I found a new link.
To download my evil book.
Click on the link here.

It's just a word doc.
Not a computer virus.
Just a brain virus.
Haiku # 50005 August 21, 2013 12:38 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Planet Rupert
Considering the deforestation of the planet, I'm not against e-books. Considering e-books allows small time people to publish and be read/discovered. Considering publishers get 90% of profits.... Yeah, I don't like brick & mortar.
Haiku # 50004 August 21, 2013 12:12 am ET
by who cares.
On a single Nook
I can fit a thousand books.
Now just have a look.
Haiku # 50003 August 21, 2013 12:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fifty K haiku.
Fall into oblivion.
What else should we do?
Haiku # 50002 August 21, 2013 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
think think? who thinks when
my smartphone can think for me
come to think oh I

don't have one
Haiku # 50001 August 20, 2013 10:32 pm ET
by vhs
generation x said
to generation y y
bother, 50,000
Haiku # 50000 August 20, 2013 10:31 pm ET
by vhs
the ego can't hide
from the id, as it would be
freud not dear sir, mom!!!!
Haiku # 49999 August 20, 2013 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of cut and paste
it's coming, aj
abrams whatever he does
some film, who cares? oh

laws of power aside...
Haiku # 49998 August 20, 2013 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
like the man in the
x wing said..."almost there" then
darth vader shot

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....boom
Haiku # 49997 August 20, 2013 10:27 pm ET
by vhs
what you think us those
ewoks? I will be pleased with
my own ayn rand spasm...
Haiku # 49996 August 20, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
alas poor piggy, thus
the growth doth word accounts thus
bricks, mortar, shame
Haiku # 49995 August 20, 2013 10:25 pm ET
by vhs
yes I've heard it all
before and you're going to
have me sign your book

"rewind"
Haiku # 49994 August 20, 2013 10:24 pm ET
by vhs
But think, VHS.
Imagine the trees we'll save.
Trees we can live in!

Who needs to read books?!
Video games are better.
I'll wipe with Shakespear.
Haiku # 49993 August 20, 2013 9:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
elmore leonard just
passed away and I will say
it's a crime he's gone
Haiku # 49992 August 20, 2013 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
groovy, well let's get
on with the countdown then and
make it go fiddy
Haiku # 49991 August 20, 2013 1:06 pm ET
by vhs
The countdown is on
The haiku odometer
Is about to roll
Haiku # 49990 August 20, 2013 12:00 pm ET
by Janis
fast instant and no
way to disconnect the new
wave had crashed and washed

away my old culture
Haiku # 49989 August 20, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
I think the paper
book is going the way of
the toilet paper

flush :(
Haiku # 49988 August 20, 2013 11:55 am ET
by vhs
"Mom, what is S & M?"
She thinks for a few seconds.
Then replies, "Beats me!"
Haiku # 49987 August 20, 2013 1:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Sitting on comode, posting bad haiku. Technology is great!
I am told though that
a book a day keeps people
at bay, I was told

I was lost in a
world of symbols but sometimes
you just need to tell

people know thyself
and in some cases you need
to tell them fuck off
Haiku # 49986 August 20, 2013 1:52 am ET
by vhs
so does chewing um
tobacco oh I tried to
quit verily, my

face doth falleth off
Haiku # 49985 August 20, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs
Poets are grumpy
old men, and grumpy old men
are they, verily!
Haiku # 49984 August 19, 2013 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Reading books causes cancer.
I am too bitter
about some kid making a joke
about the death of

books, addendum was
not enough, my spirit demands
he eat flesh, drink blood

but that's the stale old
wafers and grape juice of the
protestant ritual

that's how pissed I am
Haiku # 49983 August 19, 2013 6:56 am ET
by vhs
I should be working;
Not posting silly haiku.
That's my work ethic.
Haiku # 49982 August 19, 2013 5:48 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you - chapter 4 of VHS's attic. ;-)
Uploading my book.
To Booksie dot com. What fun!
It shall offend all!
Haiku # 49981 August 19, 2013 5:28 am ET
by Naked pictures of zha zha gabor of haiting manifold
Hannibal Lecter;
my favorite character.
I like fava beans!


What do you call a banana that ate a banana?
....
A bananibal!
Haiku # 49980 August 19, 2013 5:09 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you, chapter 2 of Porn theater janitor's closet
Hush, my high poo fiend;
bare your hard dick cheese, oh squeeze
guy secrete over.
Haiku # 49979 August 19, 2013 5:03 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Norad Defense Base
what if I eat hannibal lecter?
Haiku # 49978 August 19, 2013 2:09 am ET
by vhs
You are what you eat
So I became a nacho
Please do not eat me
Haiku # 49977 August 18, 2013 9:18 pm ET
by Alex of Melbourne
Lush, my haiku friend;
Share your hardened cheese, oh please
My secret lover
Haiku # 49976 August 18, 2013 9:10 pm ET
by Alex of Melbourne
holy cows and goats
I like camembert at noon
and feta at nine
Haiku # 49975 August 18, 2013 5:29 am ET
by Lush
Post-microwave cheese
can be extremely tasty
if it's sharp cheddar.

Now this sounds crazy,
but a tangy Swiss will make
delicious nachos.

But never heat brie;
doing so ruins the taste.
Always eat brie cold.
Haiku # 49974 August 18, 2013 2:10 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter's Apprentice.
so we grow old and
we grow with regrets, no shit
let it go damn it

maybe you give your
own ass a second chance but
I expect snarls, shrugs
Haiku # 49973 August 18, 2013 1:34 am ET
by vhs
well you make what life
has in store, but you don't hear
from those happy in

the arts now do you?
just the guy bitching about
something to glen beck
Haiku # 49972 August 18, 2013 1:32 am ET
by vhs
devoid of reason
and absent explanation
voided my bowels
Haiku # 49971 August 18, 2013 1:20 am ET
by Lush
I opened the site
and read what I was doing
double u tee eff??
Haiku # 49970 August 18, 2013 1:18 am ET
by Lush
a long time reader
and perpetual poster
now I've read and lived
Haiku # 49969 August 18, 2013 1:17 am ET
by Lush
alex of Melbourne
i'm literally eating
hardened cheese right now
Haiku # 49968 August 18, 2013 1:14 am ET
by Lush
I want castration.
To never get hard again.
To be a eunuch.

Marriage is pure hell.
As fucking a lifeless corpse.
She only wants cash.

Whores are more honest.
They don't pretend to love you,
while wanting your cash.
Haiku # 49967 August 17, 2013 11:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I made some nachos
There is no-one to share with
The cheese has hardened.
Haiku # 49966 August 16, 2013 2:47 am ET
by Alex of Melbourne
A cake is baking.
Rum and scoured, partly devoured.
Fatter than me, hell.
Haiku # 49965 August 14, 2013 7:13 pm ET
by Fart PigDucker of Darth Brooks, Achy Breaky Fart
My asshole itches.
Damn those Philippine butt worms!
My farts won't kill them.

They're impervious
to even my flatulence!
Indestructible!

Philippine butt worms
inspired Prometheus,
but are hella worse!
Haiku # 49964 August 13, 2013 4:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of I never tell lies!
awake and aching
summoned, sourced, fully divorced
shatter evr'y bell
Haiku # 49963 August 13, 2013 1:34 am ET
by Lush
damnable image
lost in metaphor once more
i just walked around
Haiku # 49962 August 13, 2013 1:30 am ET
by Lush
Monday is so slow
How will I ever make it
Friday is so far
Haiku # 49961 August 12, 2013 5:50 pm ET
by Camrick Clark of Portland, Oregon
Fuck Priceline dot com.
They'll rebook you to Iran.
Two day layover.
Haiku # 49960 August 11, 2013 6:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I was like baby
baby baby oh - baby
baby baby no
Haiku # 49959 August 9, 2013 6:30 am ET
by Non Beleiber
once adrift upon
then next inherent and soiled
today in orbit
Haiku # 49958 August 9, 2013 2:16 am ET
by Lush
beckon the truth, mate
and suffer indigestion
no plate, a buffet
Haiku # 49957 August 9, 2013 2:08 am ET
by Lush
if I have to read
the flowers of evil and
feel myself snore, a

ripe time to one up the old drug
addicted poet eh?
Haiku # 49956 August 9, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs