Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 51 Days and 77441 Haiku later...

if I have to read
the flowers of evil and
feel myself snore, a

ripe time to one up the old drug
addicted poet eh?
Haiku # 49956, August 9, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
and darth is a well
better writer than I am
so well, are we nuts?

the rest of the net
gone all flat and bland and corped
out, soroyama

where the hell is your
sexy cyborg women here
well dr. who's good
Haiku # 49955, August 8, 2013 11:34 am ET
by vhs
well what about the
french, escouffier and wine
and cheese, no heart probs.

don't get me started
Haiku # 49954, August 8, 2013 1:45 am ET
by vhs
We Americans
eat not for hunger, but fun.
Why do they hate us?
Haiku # 49952, August 7, 2013 1:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Balut McMuffin (R)
Hard boiled duck embryo
On toasted rice bread.

Abortion clinic
is right next door to McD's.
Is it really duck?
Haiku # 49951, August 7, 2013 1:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
there's ethnic choices
in food in mcdonalds and it
sounds better the choice

peeps in india
have as well as japan they
might sell them here hmm?
Haiku # 49948, August 3, 2013 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
well pink is the cute
pop star who is kinda punk
commercially and...

the meat grinder thing
you see my mind works like that
without drugs, so think

of my mind up on
something, I'd become a
fucking accountant

"numbers, numbers!!! wow"
but I suppose, ever read
The Phantom Tollbooth?
Haiku # 49947, August 3, 2013 12:14 pm ET
by vhs of suggesting mind expanding cartoons and movies
"If my crack clenches,
fist it open before I
use it and lose my stool."
--The Poo
Almost a haiku.
Haiku # 49946, August 3, 2013 10:00 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate; Chicken Fucker Video Link of letter ensinedy
we're just two lost souls
oh by the way, which one's pink ?
well my mind's a blank
Haiku # 49945, August 3, 2013 6:43 am ET
by ash
I had a friend in high school
who thought the lyrics were:
"How can you have any pussy
if you don't beat your meat?"

Ah, the good old days.
Watching freaks trip on acid
at Pink Floyd The Wall.
Haiku # 49944, August 3, 2013 6:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of almoft eenlogn
to reply dryly
it's not about just deserts
but rather desserts
Haiku # 49943, August 3, 2013 5:01 am ET
by ash
how can I get any
pudding, if I don't eat my meat
of course for pig...

that is an open ended question
open for discussion
Haiku # 49942, August 3, 2013 1:11 am ET
by vhs
Now children, play nice!
Or you will sit in time out
and get no desert.

Japanese poets
get high on sniffing panties
from vending machines.

I went snorkeling.
Radioactive blue fish
nibbled my nut sack.
Haiku # 49941, August 2, 2013 6:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate of was oishest
even next to you
the distance between us two
is significant
Haiku # 49940, August 1, 2013 11:45 pm ET
by ash
I think calling a
person an ignorant gaijin
when, you're from where

canada? come on.
even those with honor had
tempers but ethos...
Haiku # 49939, August 1, 2013 2:20 pm ET
by vhs
self flagellation
introspection and venom
it's just bad haiku
Haiku # 49938, August 1, 2013 8:51 am ET
by ash
The native had climbed
a coconut tree and then
jacked off to tourists.

Much skill and talent
the little monkey did have,
ogling beach girls.

Pina colada
with extra protein, anyone?
I'm glad I don't drink.
Haiku # 49937, July 31, 2013 11:57 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of True Story!... well, not the pina colada.
fight or flight brain kicks
in, makes a move, the reptile licks
chomps, eats it's prey then

advertizes for geico
Haiku # 49936, July 31, 2013 8:43 am ET
by vhs of who the frak are you
the pigs, the pigs, are
often wondering why we
turn them to bacon
Haiku # 49935, July 31, 2013 8:38 am ET
by vhs
and the demons tore
the limbs from the soul until
cast out by the light
Haiku # 49934, July 31, 2013 8:31 am ET
by vhs
Drinking hot chocolate.
In the Philippines summer.
Just because I can.
Haiku # 49933, July 31, 2013 3:00 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Captcha: suffering uraefo
hunter and hemmingway
blew their brains out at their end
and what's his name there

hung himself which sucks
but when pain exceeds creation
the death instinct piles in

kerouac's liver blew
i will not throw pearls before
well you know the verse

and you know that is
what I think of you all here
Haiku # 49932, July 31, 2013 2:25 am ET
by vhs
a lot of people
who are creative are often
self loathing losers

and I suspect that
is true of many who come here
and will not be too

generous until
they get their heads out of their
rear ends and allow

for people to be
themselves without feeling the
need to be a type

who belongs to a
clique, phony tradition
and is truly themselves
Haiku # 49931, July 31, 2013 2:22 am ET
by vhs
a lot of what are
artists are passive aggresive
egos and ego is

all samsara, and to
let go, well that takes somework
now does it not?

where's the guy who says
he hates thomas merton, did he
take a break or what?
Haiku # 49930, July 31, 2013 2:09 am ET
by vhs
if someone can crush
someone by their will alone
then it is a show

of their own deluded
power, but it shows they can
if they must, a lot

of the art of the
samurai was about not pulling
the sword out at all
Haiku # 49929, July 31, 2013 2:08 am ET
by vhs
men are basically evil
we like sex and power and domination
some just aren't honest enough

to admit it
Haiku # 49928, July 31, 2013 2:07 am ET
by vhs
either learn to enjoy
my ennui, or get the hell
out of the way so

I can leave my mark
if you're serious about "seppuku"
I'm serious about hell
Haiku # 49927, July 31, 2013 2:04 am ET
by vhs
i just can't shut up
I mean it's like a roulette wheel
on perpeutal motion

hope it lands on double zero
take your bet, place the chips
where will the ball land
Haiku # 49926, July 31, 2013 2:03 am ET
by vhs
it's like a tea house
with a church bell going off
shaking the symbol

for peace, resounding war
aching for the heart of
perfection that never comes

never was, never will be
Haiku # 49925, July 31, 2013 2:01 am ET
by vhs
must be the haiku
police, get them out of my
head, I got fucking tea

powder and dinging
bells and that chick, where's
musashi when you need him
Haiku # 49924, July 31, 2013 2:00 am ET
by vhs
life ends not by the
terms of man, but by the terms
of fate, choice and time

anyhow a lot of writers are self righteous douchebags who think their shit doesn't stink but they're just used to the smell
Haiku # 49923, July 31, 2013 1:59 am ET
by vhs
now suicide is quit
pretty much, and I can't quit
I got a job to do
Haiku # 49922, July 31, 2013 1:57 am ET
by vhs
man this is the most
Glen Beckish on acid trip
I have ever taken
Haiku # 49921, July 31, 2013 1:56 am ET
by vhs
and so your answer
sir is a resounding no, my
honor remains with

me, I take my blessing with me
walk on and let the wrath visited
on sodom and gommorrah

come to your doorstep
may God have mercy on your
unforgiving soul
Haiku # 49920, July 31, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
like I said politics
is all too often tradition
stale, dead tradition

the meiji restoration
of course led to world war ii
but the russians came

to learn first hand what
the japanese people were
capable of, and what

but did the sun set
on the land of amaratsu
no, she rose again

as she does every day

from alaska to eastport
Haiku # 49919, July 31, 2013 1:53 am ET
by vhs
but this almost seems
like one of those cartoons where
goku fights aliens...

you are a voice who
calls a curse on a christian
who's master could true

with a word wither
a tree to death, what fruits
you bear, figs, or thorns?
Haiku # 49918, July 31, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
I am a ronin ash
you challenge me, perhaps you
are the one who needs

to experience the
book of five rings, on levels
you have not yet known
Haiku # 49917, July 31, 2013 1:46 am ET
by vhs of you have truly dishonored me, you know vengance is the way of the samurai
seppuku for you
tradition not politics
ignorant gaijin
Haiku # 49916, July 31, 2013 12:43 am ET
by ash
eventually however
the rent is due, and whatever
we did with our lives

we are vacated
from our bodies and go somewhere
and life goes on
Haiku # 49915, July 30, 2013 1:20 pm ET
by vhs
my critique is there's
a core of people who are
regulars and there's

people who just post
and go, and sadly you've well
lightened up, but I

take you all too seriously
Haiku # 49914, July 30, 2013 1:16 pm ET
by vhs
anyhow some actors
have shit movies and good movies
and people are fickle

so it is with poets and writers and likewise and the internet is a very
graffitti form of expression
Haiku # 49913, July 30, 2013 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
well like all bullshit
it's politics and who likes
who and who doesn't

Haiku # 49912, July 30, 2013 1:13 pm ET
by vhs
your streams of conscious-
ness appear to have repeat-
edly neglected

the tying togeth-
er of three discrete ide
-as, one to each line

otherwise it's real-
ly just prose broken arbit-
rarily in three
Haiku # 49911, July 30, 2013 9:33 am ET
by ash
I just wanted to
have fun writing things but it's
just not fun anymore
Haiku # 49910, July 30, 2013 8:44 am ET
by vhs
5, 7, 7.
1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89...
Fibonacci Parmesan.
(G^n - (-1/G)^n)/sqrt(5)
Burp.
Haiku # 49909, July 30, 2013 7:41 am ET
by Darth Figpucker. of Numbers are evil.
Rose petals open.
"I smell sex and candy here".
My proboscis inhales.
Haiku # 49908, July 30, 2013 7:37 am ET
by Darth Figpucker. of Craptcha: rvoited Poetry
Still it's Bad Haiku
So who cares about number?
The Haiku police?
Haiku # 49907, July 30, 2013 6:44 am ET
by mat
so intent was i
that my count was incorrect
the shame of it all
Haiku # 49906, July 30, 2013 4:35 am ET
by ash
merely dividing
syllables into separate
lines isn't haiku

you get what i mean ?
the plan is five seven five
not divide into three
Haiku # 49905, July 30, 2013 4:34 am ET
by ash
yes he's write, we need
more actual haiku as
oposed to this "angst"
Haiku # 49904, July 30, 2013 12:11 am ET
by vhs of it's not really angst, it's just flippantness for flippant sakes
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