Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 51 Days and 77441 Haiku later...

a lot of people
who are creative are often
self loathing losers

and I suspect that
is true of many who come here
and will not be too

generous until
they get their heads out of their
rear ends and allow

for people to be
themselves without feeling the
need to be a type

who belongs to a
clique, phony tradition
and is truly themselves
Haiku # 49931, July 31, 2013 2:22 am ET
by vhs
a lot of what are
artists are passive aggresive
egos and ego is

all samsara, and to
let go, well that takes somework
now does it not?

where's the guy who says
he hates thomas merton, did he
take a break or what?
Haiku # 49930, July 31, 2013 2:09 am ET
by vhs
if someone can crush
someone by their will alone
then it is a show

of their own deluded
power, but it shows they can
if they must, a lot

of the art of the
samurai was about not pulling
the sword out at all
Haiku # 49929, July 31, 2013 2:08 am ET
by vhs
men are basically evil
we like sex and power and domination
some just aren't honest enough

to admit it
Haiku # 49928, July 31, 2013 2:07 am ET
by vhs
either learn to enjoy
my ennui, or get the hell
out of the way so

I can leave my mark
if you're serious about "seppuku"
I'm serious about hell
Haiku # 49927, July 31, 2013 2:04 am ET
by vhs
i just can't shut up
I mean it's like a roulette wheel
on perpeutal motion

hope it lands on double zero
take your bet, place the chips
where will the ball land
Haiku # 49926, July 31, 2013 2:03 am ET
by vhs
it's like a tea house
with a church bell going off
shaking the symbol

for peace, resounding war
aching for the heart of
perfection that never comes

never was, never will be
Haiku # 49925, July 31, 2013 2:01 am ET
by vhs
must be the haiku
police, get them out of my
head, I got fucking tea

powder and dinging
bells and that chick, where's
musashi when you need him
Haiku # 49924, July 31, 2013 2:00 am ET
by vhs
life ends not by the
terms of man, but by the terms
of fate, choice and time

anyhow a lot of writers are self righteous douchebags who think their shit doesn't stink but they're just used to the smell
Haiku # 49923, July 31, 2013 1:59 am ET
by vhs
now suicide is quit
pretty much, and I can't quit
I got a job to do
Haiku # 49922, July 31, 2013 1:57 am ET
by vhs
man this is the most
Glen Beckish on acid trip
I have ever taken
Haiku # 49921, July 31, 2013 1:56 am ET
by vhs
and so your answer
sir is a resounding no, my
honor remains with

me, I take my blessing with me
walk on and let the wrath visited
on sodom and gommorrah

come to your doorstep
may God have mercy on your
unforgiving soul
Haiku # 49920, July 31, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
like I said politics
is all too often tradition
stale, dead tradition

the meiji restoration
of course led to world war ii
but the russians came

to learn first hand what
the japanese people were
capable of, and what

but did the sun set
on the land of amaratsu
no, she rose again

as she does every day

from alaska to eastport
Haiku # 49919, July 31, 2013 1:53 am ET
by vhs
but this almost seems
like one of those cartoons where
goku fights aliens...

you are a voice who
calls a curse on a christian
who's master could true

with a word wither
a tree to death, what fruits
you bear, figs, or thorns?
Haiku # 49918, July 31, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
I am a ronin ash
you challenge me, perhaps you
are the one who needs

to experience the
book of five rings, on levels
you have not yet known
Haiku # 49917, July 31, 2013 1:46 am ET
by vhs of you have truly dishonored me, you know vengance is the way of the samurai
seppuku for you
tradition not politics
ignorant gaijin
Haiku # 49916, July 31, 2013 12:43 am ET
by ash
eventually however
the rent is due, and whatever
we did with our lives

we are vacated
from our bodies and go somewhere
and life goes on
Haiku # 49915, July 30, 2013 1:20 pm ET
by vhs
my critique is there's
a core of people who are
regulars and there's

people who just post
and go, and sadly you've well
lightened up, but I

take you all too seriously
Haiku # 49914, July 30, 2013 1:16 pm ET
by vhs
anyhow some actors
have shit movies and good movies
and people are fickle

so it is with poets and writers and likewise and the internet is a very
graffitti form of expression
Haiku # 49913, July 30, 2013 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
well like all bullshit
it's politics and who likes
who and who doesn't

Haiku # 49912, July 30, 2013 1:13 pm ET
by vhs
your streams of conscious-
ness appear to have repeat-
edly neglected

the tying togeth-
er of three discrete ide
-as, one to each line

otherwise it's real-
ly just prose broken arbit-
rarily in three
Haiku # 49911, July 30, 2013 9:33 am ET
by ash
I just wanted to
have fun writing things but it's
just not fun anymore
Haiku # 49910, July 30, 2013 8:44 am ET
by vhs
5, 7, 7.
1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89...
Fibonacci Parmesan.
(G^n - (-1/G)^n)/sqrt(5)
Burp.
Haiku # 49909, July 30, 2013 7:41 am ET
by Darth Figpucker. of Numbers are evil.
Rose petals open.
"I smell sex and candy here".
My proboscis inhales.
Haiku # 49908, July 30, 2013 7:37 am ET
by Darth Figpucker. of Craptcha: rvoited Poetry
Still it's Bad Haiku
So who cares about number?
The Haiku police?
Haiku # 49907, July 30, 2013 6:44 am ET
by mat
so intent was i
that my count was incorrect
the shame of it all
Haiku # 49906, July 30, 2013 4:35 am ET
by ash
merely dividing
syllables into separate
lines isn't haiku

you get what i mean ?
the plan is five seven five
not divide into three
Haiku # 49905, July 30, 2013 4:34 am ET
by ash
yes he's write, we need
more actual haiku as
oposed to this "angst"
Haiku # 49904, July 30, 2013 12:11 am ET
by vhs of it's not really angst, it's just flippantness for flippant sakes
why are people driven
more by food indulgences
and celebrity chefs

in this current time
is the zeitgeist if you can't
eat it it's not there?

housewives at home check
gossip shows and other dry
sundry it twists my

guts, where's the prof
wrestling, oh btw mick foley
likes tori amos
Haiku # 49903, July 30, 2013 12:09 am ET
by vhs of geminis....
he drank, he smoked and
painted and threw it around
and died in a car

wreck and some woman
wondered who the bleep is this
jackson pollack cat
Haiku # 49902, July 30, 2013 12:06 am ET
by vhs of but the working class lady made money
damn it, and this guy
is supposed to be transgress
ivey sort, why do we

buy the oscar wilde
line crap about artists as
these mad picture guys
Haiku # 49901, July 30, 2013 12:05 am ET
by vhs of god damn it i need to catch up on culture
I seem to be stuck
on tasks at hand but at least
I have a job but...

oh frig it what kind of career
is a career when the whole slacker
ethos was condoned by gen x
then these politically correct kids
want to save the world from
sugar and additives in food
Haiku # 49900, July 30, 2013 12:03 am ET
by vhs of more artificial flavours please
kinda like ee cum
mings, insert blow job joke here
what if it's polish

sausage?
Haiku # 49899, July 30, 2013 12:01 am ET
by vhs
and to think that was
probably the source of all
those light bulb jokes, blank

Haiku # 49898, July 30, 2013 12:00 am ET
by vhs of mr steely dan whatever
folds hands together
how can i outdadaist
this polish maestro....
Haiku # 49897, July 29, 2013 11:58 pm ET
by vhs of that fucking republican
"Work-at-home" spam blog.
A Polish website, no less!
A good Polish joke!
Haiku # 49896, July 29, 2013 11:20 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
WTF is this?
A foreign poo-biter spam
douche using my name?

LOL!!!!
Haiku # 49895, July 29, 2013 11:12 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.
Haiku # 49894, July 29, 2013 10:35 am ET
by praca za granica
My Master named me
Darth Figpucker, the Highly
Inappropriate.
Haiku # 49893, July 29, 2013 10:33 am ET
by Praca w Niemczech
A burger and fries
at a sleezy nudie bar.
It's my naked lunch.
Haiku # 49892, July 29, 2013 10:31 am ET
by praca w domu
Iraq provides her
own lube (oil!), so she must
want the gangbang, right?

Saddam was a psycho, but he kept the other little psychos in line. Now there are suicide bombs there all the time. Way to go, Bush. N. Korea and Iran are far bigger problems than Iraq under Saddam could ever have been. And Saddam was one of the best South Park characters ever. Damn, now he's gone.
Haiku # 49891, July 29, 2013 7:45 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Sunny IFargat
America and
ten other bees on Iraq
now that's gangbang.

Shit!
He jumped from a tower
and actually flew
to heaven.
Haiku # 49890, July 29, 2013 2:27 am ET
by Aftab Yusuf Shaikh of Mumbai, India
tomorrow ill write a really cool poem and ill call it sanctimonious dopisism just to make the reader wonder what in the hell that means and ill write it in all lower case letters without periods apostrophes or commas because all good poets know that such tools of the english language are really just traps and boundaries no prisons to be escaped from to be avoided like the plague and i realize that probably would have read better with commas periods apostrophes and capital letters but i have to show the world how original and cool i am and i think it would be even better if i wrote it to be read down the page instead of across just to confuse the reader because an easily confused person will find meaning in anything and will probably think my so called poem is a great work of art and also that im a man of the future a man of tomorrow ill write a really cool poem
Haiku # 49889, July 29, 2013 1:59 am ET
by Sanctimonious Dopisism of Darth Figpucker - click the link to read a real mind fuck ;-)
well I'm reacting
to what I see on here and
I enjoy "angst" so
Haiku # 49888, July 28, 2013 10:00 am ET
by vhs of it's me, get over it
way too much angst man
instead of agonising
write some bad haiku
Haiku # 49887, July 28, 2013 7:41 am ET
by ash
we are talking of
"i" like "i" fucking matter
I could drop dead from

a heart attack or
say "screw this" ala cartman
and leave this all here

or turn the laptop
off, or find something else to
do, to shut up and

listen rather than
talking to strangers on a
website I don't know
Haiku # 49886, July 28, 2013 2:07 am ET
by vhs
in other words some
people like their pariah
penis status we

often say they have
their lives lived hard on but in
retrospect, beats nick
Haiku # 49885, July 27, 2013 1:39 am ET
by vhs
I'm a christian, so
I have this love my foes thing
but devil may care...

never open the necronomicon
unless you know the results of
breaking the bonds of the
elder signs
Haiku # 49884, July 27, 2013 1:37 am ET
by vhs
If you read my book,
then you would hate me also.
Click to download it.
Haiku # 49883, July 26, 2013 11:05 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of 3rd world hamburger
beta vhs dvd std :)

all right don't get a
papercut and if you
know you put a smile

to someone's face now
does it ruin your existential
artist I hate myself day?
Haiku # 49882, July 26, 2013 11:28 am ET
by vhs
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >