Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 48 Days and 77440 Haiku later...

I'm a christian, so
I have this love my foes thing
but devil may care...

never open the necronomicon
unless you know the results of
breaking the bonds of the
elder signs
Haiku # 49884, July 27, 2013 1:37 am ET
by vhs
If you read my book,
then you would hate me also.
Click to download it.
Haiku # 49883, July 26, 2013 11:05 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of 3rd world hamburger
beta vhs dvd std :)

all right don't get a
papercut and if you
know you put a smile

to someone's face now
does it ruin your existential
artist I hate myself day?
Haiku # 49882, July 26, 2013 11:28 am ET
by vhs
you're a part of the
human condition and as
such I write as well

who the hell do you think you
are, cthulhu?
Haiku # 49881, July 26, 2013 11:24 am ET
by vhs
I hate all people.
I do not want to be one.
And as such I write.

"He who makes a beast
of himself gets rid of the
pain of being a man."
-- Dr. T., RIP
Haiku # 49880, July 26, 2013 2:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Edgar Poe & I went out for a drive in his Porsche. We'd been out hogging and there were two fatties squeezed in the back. He'd been smoking opium and was driving way too fast. He crashed though a country fence and into a field at 75 mph. We were heading for a huge oak. I yelled, "Poe! A tree!"
Haiku # 49879, July 26, 2013 2:49 am ET
by All good dingleberries go to heaven of Darth Figpucker -- and poetry was born.
Pop the sentient zit on my taint that sings the Star Strangled Banner off key like a drunken war veteran at wee hours. I tried to have it removed, but the surgeon refused after he spoke with it at great length. They discussed Nietzsche and homemade beer. I just want to get some sleep.
Haiku # 49878, July 26, 2013 2:39 am ET
by beta vhs dvd std of Darth Figpucker
suicide is a
sad thing because all the talk
covered stuff within
Haiku # 49877, July 26, 2013 1:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
why do suicidal self
hating medicating rip torns
think they can hog the

poetry? it's mine
Haiku # 49876, July 26, 2013 1:27 am ET
by vhs
anyone who does not
think deeply about the issues
eventually becomes skin

on some nazis lamp
or ends up dying in a
gulag somewhere just

you don't want to think about it
Haiku # 49875, July 26, 2013 1:26 am ET
by vhs
Gluten makes me hard.
I mean down in my undies.
And not the brown crust.

I like gluten free.
You can take out the gluten
and give it to me.

I'm a liberal
only because I don't like
right wing nut tea-bags.
Haiku # 49874, July 26, 2013 12:06 am ET
by Popcorn, snuff porn, Snuffleupagus erection brutaly penetrating big bird and a bloody bird turd. Absurd! of Darth Figpucker commands you to click the link for more perverted poetry.
Being single is
to speak one's mind without fear
of being yelled at.

I wish that were true...
Almost -- if not for the kids.
I cannot leave them.

They are not nearly
as evil as I am now,
but there is still time.
Haiku # 49873, July 25, 2013 11:47 pm ET
by Vrahioli By Erik Latika of Darth Figpucker.
If you really think
Politics make you so cool
You are an idiot!
Haiku # 49872, July 25, 2013 7:51 pm ET
by mat of Aachen
Just found some Haiku
I wrote fifteen years ago
How silly I was!
Haiku # 49871, July 25, 2013 7:09 pm ET
by mat of Aachen
or how about this one
"how I accidentally joined the
vast right wing conspiracy and

found inner peace"
Haiku # 49870, July 25, 2013 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
me thinks pf is
a single man and if he
gets married, what then?
Haiku # 49869, July 25, 2013 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
ever get tired
of the liberals who want
gluten free bread for

lunch? but dadaist
plans are a protest against
meaning itself sometimes
Haiku # 49868, July 25, 2013 12:15 pm ET
by vhs
oh chuck, let's made some
soap, then express gen x frust.
in a book form then

he was at a thing
watching tractors smash up then
sometimes a good writer
Haiku # 49867, July 25, 2013 12:14 pm ET
by vhs
Linking with porn names
from Met-Art.com website
will increase traffic.

How many perverts
does it take to read my book?
We may never know.

I just read Pygmy,
The book by Chuck Palahniuk.
My least fave by him.
Haiku # 49866, July 25, 2013 4:41 am ET
by Stedet By Alex Sironi of Darth Figpucker
Oh just fuck me now!
There are 8 syllables down
in previous post.

The 2nd sentence
has 8 Goddamn syllables.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Haiku # 49865, July 24, 2013 7:26 am ET
by Downloadable STDs. of Darth Figpucker
Rancid swine feces.
Cleaning the stir-fried intestines.
Pinoy relatives.*

*Pinoy = Filippino.
The kitchen smells like a veterinary kennel filled with dogs that have parvo virus diarrhea. Effing pig guts.
Haiku # 49864, July 24, 2013 7:17 am ET
by Perverted Poetry of Darth Figpucker
ignore van halen
or heed their exhortation
"go ahead and jump..."
Haiku # 49863, July 23, 2013 9:43 am ET
by ash
I don't want to jump
off a bridge because I want
to cause some closure...
Haiku # 49862, July 20, 2013 1:19 pm ET
by vhs
I want to jump off.
A cliff, a building, the world.
Life is now empty.
Haiku # 49861, July 20, 2013 2:17 am ET
by Perverted Poetry
It's so hot today
I think I'll crawl inside the
refrigerator
Haiku # 49860, July 19, 2013 6:36 am ET
by phil of exeter, UK
a while passes then
the traditional form looks
all the more pleasing
Haiku # 49859, July 17, 2013 10:16 am ET
by vhs
response, stimulus
response, stimulus hmm you
stimulus package

huh huh, he said stimulus...

he said package, heh heh
Haiku # 49858, July 17, 2013 1:20 am ET
by vhs
Lance has ants in his pants
that make him take a chance and prance and dance all the way to France in his underpants. If you by happenstance get a glance it will put you in a trance.
Haiku # 49857, July 16, 2013 6:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of ngsgoth senses
hmm if the nudies
are sleezy then isn't
that lunch naked too?
Haiku # 49856, July 15, 2013 11:39 am ET
by vhs
A burger and fries
at a sleezy nudie bar.
It's my naked lunch.
Haiku # 49855, July 15, 2013 6:32 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of semytiro monium
well what about the black
meat of the aquatic what
is it centipede?

the people puke and
eat and puke again,the whole
bill burroughs tainted

cheese thing, but I mean
what kind of wine goes with that
sort of naked lunch?
Haiku # 49854, July 14, 2013 10:12 pm ET
by vhs
Acetylene Flowers
I can no longer live the lies you
Haiku # 49853, July 14, 2013 7:11 pm ET
by Dr Retrospectacle.
Skull-fuck the chicken
Fun the mental cyst has ate her snatch
it's weird good meat, sir. ;-)
Haiku # 49852, July 14, 2013 7:03 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker. of necessary ibiliann
well fuck, the christian
fundamentalist has met his match
in weird, good meet sir
Haiku # 49851, July 14, 2013 12:41 pm ET
by vhs
"I'm a mog. Part man,
part dog -- I'm my own best friend."
--John Candy as Barf
Haiku # 49850, July 14, 2013 4:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of 621 akersouc
She was a magnetic pole dancer,
and he was a physicist from Berkeley.
They met at the last legal rooster fight in Oklahoma.
They have 4.3 children thanks to his job at the nuclear reactor research laboratory studying flavor enhancers for Skoal.
One of their children write haiku, but this is not one.

Memorial oookma

Fuck, I hate captchas!
Like Memorial oookma.
oookma's not a word!
Haiku # 49849, July 14, 2013 4:09 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, yet again
in other words the schwartz
was used with great effect
and all quite too often
Haiku # 49848, July 13, 2013 12:19 pm ET
by vhs
My Master named me
Darth Figpucker, the Highly
Inappropriate.
Haiku # 49847, July 13, 2013 8:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Limericks are fun.
Haiku are too short for me.
Too few of them rhyme.

There was a rich old man from nantucket...
He very loudly one day kicked the bucket.
He died screaming in bed
while his pretty young nurse was giving him...
his dinner.
And if you die like that, you're a winner.
Haiku # 49846, July 13, 2013 7:56 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
improvisation
is the way to get your soul
to hang with your heart
Haiku # 49845, July 13, 2013 12:26 am ET
by zyga zint of here, now
I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.
Haiku # 49844, July 12, 2013 6:39 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Darth Figpucker
It could be a whine
Whether or not I feel fine
Snickers to you Blue
Haiku # 49843, July 11, 2013 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll write what I write
if you like it or not, call
it tripe or shit...

it's mine
Haiku # 49842, July 11, 2013 1:16 am ET
by vhs
Pulling diaper tabs
Hoping for the best my love
Mudslide triggers rebirth
Haiku # 49841, July 10, 2013 4:27 pm ET
by toddburke of Monrovia, CA USA
in recline with wine
plotting lurid crimes of mind
ineffectual
Haiku # 49840, July 9, 2013 3:30 am ET
by Lush
and then a lame one
standards met without acclaim
a silent triumph
Haiku # 49839, July 9, 2013 3:23 am ET
by Lush
a collective gripe
against hollow, timid tripe
this my site of might
Haiku # 49838, July 9, 2013 3:21 am ET
by Lush
and it is so on
my end of things, summer heat
winter comes, snow

can't win can we oh
canada to new england
too much snow or heat
Haiku # 49837, July 7, 2013 11:03 pm ET
by vhs
the humidity
is oozing its way inside
my bedroom window
Haiku # 49836, July 7, 2013 9:33 pm ET
by C. Lacey of Toronto
then again between films
with zombies and villians turned
good, what are the trends?
Haiku # 49835, July 7, 2013 5:28 pm ET
by vhs
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