My Master named me
Darth Figpucker, the Highly
Inappropriate.

A burger and fries
at a sleezy nudie bar.
It's my naked lunch.

Iraq provides her
own lube (oil!), so she must
want the gangbang, right?

Saddam was a psycho, but he kept the other little psychos in line. Now there are suicide bombs there all the time. Way to go, Bush. N. Korea and Iran are far bigger problems than Iraq under Saddam could ever have been. And Saddam was one of the best South Park characters ever. Damn, now he's gone.

America and
ten other bees on Iraq
now that's gangbang.

Shit!
He jumped from a tower
and actually flew
to heaven.

tomorrow ill write a really cool poem and ill call it sanctimonious dopisism just to make the reader wonder what in the hell that means and ill write it in all lower case letters without periods apostrophes or commas because all good poets know that such tools of the english language are really just traps and boundaries no prisons to be escaped from to be avoided like the plague and i realize that probably would have read better with commas periods apostrophes and capital letters but i have to show the world how original and cool i am and i think it would be even better if i wrote it to be read down the page instead of across just to confuse the reader because an easily confused person will find meaning in anything and will probably think my so called poem is a great work of art and also that im a man of the future a man of tomorrow ill write a really cool poem

well I'm reacting
to what I see on here and
I enjoy "angst" so

way too much angst man
instead of agonising
write some bad haiku

we are talking of
"i" like "i" fucking matter
I could drop dead from

a heart attack or
say "screw this" ala cartman
and leave this all here

or turn the laptop
off, or find something else to
do, to shut up and

listen rather than
talking to strangers on a
website I don't know

in other words some
people like their pariah
penis status we

often say they have
their lives lived hard on but in
retrospect, beats nick

I'm a christian, so
I have this love my foes thing
but devil may care...

never open the necronomicon
unless you know the results of
breaking the bonds of the
elder signs

If you read my book,
then you would hate me also.
Click to download it.

beta vhs dvd std :)

all right don't get a
papercut and if you
know you put a smile

to someone's face now
does it ruin your existential
artist I hate myself day?

you're a part of the
human condition and as
such I write as well

who the hell do you think you
are, cthulhu?

I hate all people.
I do not want to be one.
And as such I write.

"He who makes a beast
of himself gets rid of the
pain of being a man."
-- Dr. T., RIP

Edgar Poe & I went out for a drive in his Porsche. We'd been out hogging and there were two fatties squeezed in the back. He'd been smoking opium and was driving way too fast. He crashed though a country fence and into a field at 75 mph. We were heading for a huge oak. I yelled, "Poe! A tree!"

Pop the sentient zit on my taint that sings the Star Strangled Banner off key like a drunken war veteran at wee hours. I tried to have it removed, but the surgeon refused after he spoke with it at great length. They discussed Nietzsche and homemade beer. I just want to get some sleep.

suicide is a
sad thing because all the talk
covered stuff within

why do suicidal self
hating medicating rip torns
think they can hog the

poetry? it's mine

anyone who does not
think deeply about the issues
eventually becomes skin

on some nazis lamp
or ends up dying in a
gulag somewhere just

you don't want to think about it

Gluten makes me hard.
I mean down in my undies.
And not the brown crust.

I like gluten free.
You can take out the gluten
and give it to me.

I'm a liberal
only because I don't like
right wing nut tea-bags.

Being single is
to speak one's mind without fear
of being yelled at.

I wish that were true...
Almost -- if not for the kids.
I cannot leave them.

They are not nearly
as evil as I am now,
but there is still time.

If you really think
Politics make you so cool
You are an idiot!

Just found some Haiku
I wrote fifteen years ago
How silly I was!

or how about this one
"how I accidentally joined the
vast right wing conspiracy and

found inner peace"

me thinks pf is
a single man and if he
gets married, what then?

ever get tired
of the liberals who want
gluten free bread for

lunch? but dadaist
plans are a protest against
meaning itself sometimes

oh chuck, let's made some
soap, then express gen x frust.
in a book form then

he was at a thing
watching tractors smash up then
sometimes a good writer

Linking with porn names
from Met-Art.com website
will increase traffic.

How many perverts
does it take to read my book?
We may never know.

I just read Pygmy,
The book by Chuck Palahniuk.
My least fave by him.

Oh just fuck me now!
There are 8 syllables down
in previous post.

The 2nd sentence
has 8 Goddamn syllables.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Rancid swine feces.
Cleaning the stir-fried intestines.
Pinoy relatives.*

*Pinoy = Filippino.
The kitchen smells like a veterinary kennel filled with dogs that have parvo virus diarrhea. Effing pig guts.

ignore van halen
or heed their exhortation
"go ahead and jump..."

I don't want to jump
off a bridge because I want
to cause some closure...

I want to jump off.
A cliff, a building, the world.
Life is now empty.

It's so hot today
I think I'll crawl inside the
refrigerator

a while passes then
the traditional form looks
all the more pleasing

response, stimulus
response, stimulus hmm you
stimulus package

huh huh, he said stimulus...

he said package, heh heh

Lance has ants in his pants
that make him take a chance and prance and dance all the way to France in his underpants. If you by happenstance get a glance it will put you in a trance.

hmm if the nudies
are sleezy then isn't
that lunch naked too?

A burger and fries
at a sleezy nudie bar.
It's my naked lunch.

well what about the black
meat of the aquatic what
is it centipede?

the people puke and
eat and puke again,the whole
bill burroughs tainted

cheese thing, but I mean
what kind of wine goes with that
sort of naked lunch?

Acetylene Flowers
I can no longer live the lies you

Skull-fuck the chicken
Fun the mental cyst has ate her snatch
it's weird good meat, sir. ;-)

well fuck, the christian
fundamentalist has met his match
in weird, good meet sir

"I'm a mog. Part man,
part dog -- I'm my own best friend."
--John Candy as Barf

She was a magnetic pole dancer,
and he was a physicist from Berkeley.
They met at the last legal rooster fight in Oklahoma.
They have 4.3 children thanks to his job at the nuclear reactor research laboratory studying flavor enhancers for Skoal.
One of their children write haiku, but this is not one.

Memorial oookma

Fuck, I hate captchas!
Like Memorial oookma.
oookma's not a word!

in other words the schwartz
was used with great effect
and all quite too often

My Master named me
Darth Figpucker, the Highly
Inappropriate.

Limericks are fun.
Haiku are too short for me.
Too few of them rhyme.

There was a rich old man from nantucket...
He very loudly one day kicked the bucket.
He died screaming in bed
while his pretty young nurse was giving him...
his dinner.
And if you die like that, you're a winner.

improvisation
is the way to get your soul
to hang with your heart

I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.