Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 53 Days and 77444 Haiku later...

what you think us those
ewoks? I will be pleased with
my own ayn rand spasm...
Haiku # 49996, August 20, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
alas poor piggy, thus
the growth doth word accounts thus
bricks, mortar, shame
Haiku # 49995, August 20, 2013 10:25 pm ET
by vhs
yes I've heard it all
before and you're going to
have me sign your book

"rewind"
Haiku # 49994, August 20, 2013 10:24 pm ET
by vhs
But think, VHS.
Imagine the trees we'll save.
Trees we can live in!

Who needs to read books?!
Video games are better.
I'll wipe with Shakespear.
Haiku # 49993, August 20, 2013 9:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
elmore leonard just
passed away and I will say
it's a crime he's gone
Haiku # 49992, August 20, 2013 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
groovy, well let's get
on with the countdown then and
make it go fiddy
Haiku # 49991, August 20, 2013 1:06 pm ET
by vhs
The countdown is on
The haiku odometer
Is about to roll
Haiku # 49990, August 20, 2013 12:00 pm ET
by Janis
fast instant and no
way to disconnect the new
wave had crashed and washed

away my old culture
Haiku # 49989, August 20, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
I think the paper
book is going the way of
the toilet paper

flush :(
Haiku # 49988, August 20, 2013 11:55 am ET
by vhs
"Mom, what is S & M?"
She thinks for a few seconds.
Then replies, "Beats me!"
Haiku # 49987, August 20, 2013 1:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Sitting on comode, posting bad haiku. Technology is great!
I am told though that
a book a day keeps people
at bay, I was told

I was lost in a
world of symbols but sometimes
you just need to tell

people know thyself
and in some cases you need
to tell them fuck off
Haiku # 49986, August 20, 2013 1:52 am ET
by vhs
so does chewing um
tobacco oh I tried to
quit verily, my

face doth falleth off
Haiku # 49985, August 20, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs
Poets are grumpy
old men, and grumpy old men
are they, verily!
Haiku # 49984, August 19, 2013 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Reading books causes cancer.
I am too bitter
about some kid making a joke
about the death of

books, addendum was
not enough, my spirit demands
he eat flesh, drink blood

but that's the stale old
wafers and grape juice of the
protestant ritual

that's how pissed I am
Haiku # 49983, August 19, 2013 6:56 am ET
by vhs
I should be working;
Not posting silly haiku.
That's my work ethic.
Haiku # 49982, August 19, 2013 5:48 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you - chapter 4 of VHS's attic. ;-)
Uploading my book.
To Booksie dot com. What fun!
It shall offend all!
Haiku # 49981, August 19, 2013 5:28 am ET
by Naked pictures of zha zha gabor of haiting manifold
Hannibal Lecter;
my favorite character.
I like fava beans!


What do you call a banana that ate a banana?
....
A bananibal!
Haiku # 49980, August 19, 2013 5:09 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you, chapter 2 of Porn theater janitor's closet
Hush, my high poo fiend;
bare your hard dick cheese, oh squeeze
guy secrete over.
Haiku # 49979, August 19, 2013 5:03 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Norad Defense Base
what if I eat hannibal lecter?
Haiku # 49978, August 19, 2013 2:09 am ET
by vhs
You are what you eat
So I became a nacho
Please do not eat me
Haiku # 49977, August 18, 2013 9:18 pm ET
by Alex of Melbourne
Lush, my haiku friend;
Share your hardened cheese, oh please
My secret lover
Haiku # 49976, August 18, 2013 9:10 pm ET
by Alex of Melbourne
holy cows and goats
I like camembert at noon
and feta at nine
Haiku # 49975, August 18, 2013 5:29 am ET
by Lush
Post-microwave cheese
can be extremely tasty
if it's sharp cheddar.

Now this sounds crazy,
but a tangy Swiss will make
delicious nachos.

But never heat brie;
doing so ruins the taste.
Always eat brie cold.
Haiku # 49974, August 18, 2013 2:10 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter's Apprentice.
so we grow old and
we grow with regrets, no shit
let it go damn it

maybe you give your
own ass a second chance but
I expect snarls, shrugs
Haiku # 49973, August 18, 2013 1:34 am ET
by vhs
well you make what life
has in store, but you don't hear
from those happy in

the arts now do you?
just the guy bitching about
something to glen beck
Haiku # 49972, August 18, 2013 1:32 am ET
by vhs
devoid of reason
and absent explanation
voided my bowels
Haiku # 49971, August 18, 2013 1:20 am ET
by Lush
I opened the site
and read what I was doing
double u tee eff??
Haiku # 49970, August 18, 2013 1:18 am ET
by Lush
a long time reader
and perpetual poster
now I've read and lived
Haiku # 49969, August 18, 2013 1:17 am ET
by Lush
alex of Melbourne
i'm literally eating
hardened cheese right now
Haiku # 49968, August 18, 2013 1:14 am ET
by Lush
I want castration.
To never get hard again.
To be a eunuch.

Marriage is pure hell.
As fucking a lifeless corpse.
She only wants cash.

Whores are more honest.
They don't pretend to love you,
while wanting your cash.
Haiku # 49967, August 17, 2013 11:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I made some nachos
There is no-one to share with
The cheese has hardened.
Haiku # 49966, August 16, 2013 2:47 am ET
by Alex of Melbourne
A cake is baking.
Rum and scoured, partly devoured.
Fatter than me, hell.
Haiku # 49965, August 14, 2013 7:13 pm ET
by Fart PigDucker of Darth Brooks, Achy Breaky Fart
My asshole itches.
Damn those Philippine butt worms!
My farts won't kill them.

They're impervious
to even my flatulence!
Indestructible!

Philippine butt worms
inspired Prometheus,
but are hella worse!
Haiku # 49964, August 13, 2013 4:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of I never tell lies!
awake and aching
summoned, sourced, fully divorced
shatter evr'y bell
Haiku # 49963, August 13, 2013 1:34 am ET
by Lush
damnable image
lost in metaphor once more
i just walked around
Haiku # 49962, August 13, 2013 1:30 am ET
by Lush
Monday is so slow
How will I ever make it
Friday is so far
Haiku # 49961, August 12, 2013 5:50 pm ET
by Camrick Clark of Portland, Oregon
Fuck Priceline dot com.
They'll rebook you to Iran.
Two day layover.
Haiku # 49960, August 11, 2013 6:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I was like baby
baby baby oh - baby
baby baby no
Haiku # 49959, August 9, 2013 6:30 am ET
by Non Beleiber
once adrift upon
then next inherent and soiled
today in orbit
Haiku # 49958, August 9, 2013 2:16 am ET
by Lush
beckon the truth, mate
and suffer indigestion
no plate, a buffet
Haiku # 49957, August 9, 2013 2:08 am ET
by Lush
if I have to read
the flowers of evil and
feel myself snore, a

ripe time to one up the old drug
addicted poet eh?
Haiku # 49956, August 9, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
and darth is a well
better writer than I am
so well, are we nuts?

the rest of the net
gone all flat and bland and corped
out, soroyama

where the hell is your
sexy cyborg women here
well dr. who's good
Haiku # 49955, August 8, 2013 11:34 am ET
by vhs
well what about the
french, escouffier and wine
and cheese, no heart probs.

don't get me started
Haiku # 49954, August 8, 2013 1:45 am ET
by vhs
We Americans
eat not for hunger, but fun.
Why do they hate us?
Haiku # 49952, August 7, 2013 1:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Balut McMuffin (R)
Hard boiled duck embryo
On toasted rice bread.

Abortion clinic
is right next door to McD's.
Is it really duck?
Haiku # 49951, August 7, 2013 1:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
there's ethnic choices
in food in mcdonalds and it
sounds better the choice

peeps in india
have as well as japan they
might sell them here hmm?
Haiku # 49948, August 3, 2013 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
well pink is the cute
pop star who is kinda punk
commercially and...

the meat grinder thing
you see my mind works like that
without drugs, so think

of my mind up on
something, I'd become a
fucking accountant

"numbers, numbers!!! wow"
but I suppose, ever read
The Phantom Tollbooth?
Haiku # 49947, August 3, 2013 12:14 pm ET
by vhs of suggesting mind expanding cartoons and movies
"If my crack clenches,
fist it open before I
use it and lose my stool."
--The Poo
Almost a haiku.
Haiku # 49946, August 3, 2013 10:00 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate; Chicken Fucker Video Link of letter ensinedy
we're just two lost souls
oh by the way, which one's pink ?
well my mind's a blank
Haiku # 49945, August 3, 2013 6:43 am ET
by ash
I had a friend in high school
who thought the lyrics were:
"How can you have any pussy
if you don't beat your meat?"

Ah, the good old days.
Watching freaks trip on acid
at Pink Floyd The Wall.
Haiku # 49944, August 3, 2013 6:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of almoft eenlogn
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