Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 55 Days and 77445 Haiku later...

intellectual?
toss that shit and live your life
dance before demise
Haiku # 50029, August 27, 2013 4:20 am ET
by Lush
anti semitic?
perhaps I am the ruin
least i'm not asian
Haiku # 50028, August 27, 2013 4:18 am ET
by Lush
as for ou812
well van halen, so long back
my introduction to

sammy hagar and
said rockers, now my words are
david lee roth? oi
Haiku # 50027, August 27, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs of wonders if I should sign in as "vh"
well I was afraid
I would draw the tower card
but some asshole put

the wild draw four card
from the uno deck in my set
games people play
Haiku # 50026, August 27, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
LOL @ U!!!
U b-leave N tarot cards!
U, sir, R D card!

OICU812

Anyone ever see that chimp video where he scratches his butt, sniffs his finger, then falls over backwards out of a tree? That's the way I feel after reading this website.
Haiku # 50025, August 27, 2013 1:36 am ET
by Darth Chimpbuttscratcher of Click to see the u-tube vid of the chimp.
so that's the truth of
the colonel's secret spices
after all this time...

by the way zero
in the tarot is the "fool"
look it up yourself
Haiku # 50024, August 26, 2013 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
I believe in zip;
nothing, nada, nullity.
I worship zero.

It defines us all.
Zero is the start and end;
the true mystery.

Unfathomable.
What "nothing" exactly means,
We are ignorant.








And I still enjoy fucking a chicken or two every Saturday afternoon. Remember that the next time you eat Colonel. ;-)
Haiku # 50023, August 26, 2013 2:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Hills of Tennessee
true believers can
often be some of the biggest
roadblocks in life
Haiku # 50022, August 26, 2013 1:19 am ET
by vhs
I want your empty V
HS. MTVHS Tivo Beavis and Butthead.
Fuck haiku and the Nippos that invented them.
5-7-5 is gay.
I prefer South Park.

Rebel against numbers. Do the numbers care? 42.
Haiku # 50021, August 25, 2013 2:55 pm ET
by Darth Bifurcating Figpucker Poo of Smithsonian Institute Exhibit of Stinky People
must have something to
do with thinking rebellion
for rebellion's sake

is a reason for
the whole enterprise and thus
I want my MTV haiku
Haiku # 50020, August 25, 2013 8:59 am ET
by vhs
Farts make me happy.
Especially when in church.
Muffled laughs echo.

A Tri-Delta smelt a fart from my ass wholly disgusted and perturbed by the disturbed misbehavior of my super-intelligent sphincter that stinked her out of the room with a sonic... BOOM!...
Or two... or three... or FOUR!...
She slammed the damned door like the plastic Barbie whore she is!
My, but my butt has its very own mind where you step please; you snooze, you'll lose your shoes. SPLAT!

(If you've never farted on and then stolen the shoes off a drunken sorority girl, you've never truly lived).
Haiku # 50019, August 24, 2013 5:06 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about farts of attired uticesi
I ate bad tacos.
I made bifurcating poo.
It was really gross.
Haiku # 50018, August 23, 2013 3:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
oh poop, and here we
are throwing ideas like those
primates throwing poo

was there a teletubby named poo?
Haiku # 50017, August 23, 2013 1:36 am ET
by vhs
kaleidoscopic
telecommunication
observatory.

justifiable
pseudointellectual
impenetrability.

arbitrarily
parallelepipedal
geometrical
Haiku # 50016, August 22, 2013 6:40 pm ET
by BifurcatingPoo of digital potty sanitation engineer
the last minute, the
slump, forecast of doom it tells
what of history

how much has it been
said something will fail when years
later the thing goes on
Haiku # 50015, August 22, 2013 1:52 pm ET
by vhs
can we do haiku
about breakfast cereal
in honor of seinfeld?
Haiku # 50014, August 22, 2013 1:57 am ET
by vhs
well given the world
we live in a place like this
gives us space to breathe
Haiku # 50013, August 22, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
Oh circumcision!
Literally a rip-off
Followed by bagels
Haiku # 50012, August 21, 2013 7:45 pm ET
by C.H. Nissan
Interesting fact:
First definition of "Geek":
man who screws chickens.

Or bites their heads off
as part of a circus show.
Now it means a nerd.

How did this happen?
Either way applies to me.
See the video.
Haiku # 50011, August 21, 2013 3:11 pm ET
by Chicken Fucker on YouTube of Sumo wrestler with diarrhea
and like a certain
subaru may it go for
100,000 more hits
Haiku # 50010, August 21, 2013 12:54 pm ET
by vhs
go you bad haiku
raging after all these years
well who'da thunk it ?
Haiku # 50009, August 21, 2013 9:08 am ET
by ash
Congratulations,
Bad Haiku on reaching yet
another milestone.
Haiku # 50008, August 21, 2013 8:20 am ET
by Adam
irony is chic
still to me, not dead but a
tradition, well worn
Haiku # 50007, August 21, 2013 6:32 am ET
by vhs
politics aside
I have older fashioned views
I am likely to

become silent, think
data is a dead thing to me
welcome to the machine

but this is janis's webby
let's back to haiku
Haiku # 50006, August 21, 2013 6:31 am ET
by vhs
Ooo...
I found a new link.
To download my evil book.
Click on the link here.

It's just a word doc.
Not a computer virus.
Just a brain virus.
Haiku # 50005, August 21, 2013 12:38 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Planet Rupert
Considering the deforestation of the planet, I'm not against e-books. Considering e-books allows small time people to publish and be read/discovered. Considering publishers get 90% of profits.... Yeah, I don't like brick & mortar.
Haiku # 50004, August 21, 2013 12:12 am ET
by who cares.
On a single Nook
I can fit a thousand books.
Now just have a look.
Haiku # 50003, August 21, 2013 12:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fifty K haiku.
Fall into oblivion.
What else should we do?
Haiku # 50002, August 21, 2013 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
think think? who thinks when
my smartphone can think for me
come to think oh I

don't have one
Haiku # 50001, August 20, 2013 10:32 pm ET
by vhs
generation x said
to generation y y
bother, 50,000
Haiku # 50000, August 20, 2013 10:31 pm ET
by vhs
the ego can't hide
from the id, as it would be
freud not dear sir, mom!!!!
Haiku # 49999, August 20, 2013 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of cut and paste
it's coming, aj
abrams whatever he does
some film, who cares? oh

laws of power aside...
Haiku # 49998, August 20, 2013 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
like the man in the
x wing said..."almost there" then
darth vader shot

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....boom
Haiku # 49997, August 20, 2013 10:27 pm ET
by vhs
what you think us those
ewoks? I will be pleased with
my own ayn rand spasm...
Haiku # 49996, August 20, 2013 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
alas poor piggy, thus
the growth doth word accounts thus
bricks, mortar, shame
Haiku # 49995, August 20, 2013 10:25 pm ET
by vhs
yes I've heard it all
before and you're going to
have me sign your book

"rewind"
Haiku # 49994, August 20, 2013 10:24 pm ET
by vhs
But think, VHS.
Imagine the trees we'll save.
Trees we can live in!

Who needs to read books?!
Video games are better.
I'll wipe with Shakespear.
Haiku # 49993, August 20, 2013 9:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
elmore leonard just
passed away and I will say
it's a crime he's gone
Haiku # 49992, August 20, 2013 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
groovy, well let's get
on with the countdown then and
make it go fiddy
Haiku # 49991, August 20, 2013 1:06 pm ET
by vhs
The countdown is on
The haiku odometer
Is about to roll
Haiku # 49990, August 20, 2013 12:00 pm ET
by Janis
fast instant and no
way to disconnect the new
wave had crashed and washed

away my old culture
Haiku # 49989, August 20, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
I think the paper
book is going the way of
the toilet paper

flush :(
Haiku # 49988, August 20, 2013 11:55 am ET
by vhs
"Mom, what is S & M?"
She thinks for a few seconds.
Then replies, "Beats me!"
Haiku # 49987, August 20, 2013 1:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Sitting on comode, posting bad haiku. Technology is great!
I am told though that
a book a day keeps people
at bay, I was told

I was lost in a
world of symbols but sometimes
you just need to tell

people know thyself
and in some cases you need
to tell them fuck off
Haiku # 49986, August 20, 2013 1:52 am ET
by vhs
so does chewing um
tobacco oh I tried to
quit verily, my

face doth falleth off
Haiku # 49985, August 20, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs
Poets are grumpy
old men, and grumpy old men
are they, verily!
Haiku # 49984, August 19, 2013 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Reading books causes cancer.
I am too bitter
about some kid making a joke
about the death of

books, addendum was
not enough, my spirit demands
he eat flesh, drink blood

but that's the stale old
wafers and grape juice of the
protestant ritual

that's how pissed I am
Haiku # 49983, August 19, 2013 6:56 am ET
by vhs
I should be working;
Not posting silly haiku.
That's my work ethic.
Haiku # 49982, August 19, 2013 5:48 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you - chapter 4 of VHS's attic. ;-)
Uploading my book.
To Booksie dot com. What fun!
It shall offend all!
Haiku # 49981, August 19, 2013 5:28 am ET
by Naked pictures of zha zha gabor of haiting manifold
Hannibal Lecter;
my favorite character.
I like fava beans!


What do you call a banana that ate a banana?
....
A bananibal!
Haiku # 49980, August 19, 2013 5:09 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you, chapter 2 of Porn theater janitor's closet
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