Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

Hey, Listen up Ash
Did you get your haiku prize?
It was sent Thursday
Haiku # 4162, September 2, 2000 7:32 pm ET
by Janis of Santa Monica
Lights down, intro blares
A moments pause: they take the stage
Chills shoot down my spine
Haiku # 4161, September 2, 2000 7:16 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
torment me no more
for though i have no spell check
the proof is out there
Haiku # 4160, September 2, 2000 6:37 pm ET
by ash
sad imperfection
causes a certain longing
where a log should be
Haiku # 4159, September 2, 2000 6:35 pm ET
by ash
sleep in until noon
long on and write a haiku
happy father's day
Haiku # 4158, September 2, 2000 6:34 pm ET
by ash
Oink oink oink oink
PUMA IM SORRY FOR THAT
STARCRAFT TODAY... HA
Haiku # 4157, September 2, 2000 6:02 pm ET
by Guy Montag
Pumamonkey! He
is my hero... always there
for me. OINK WITH ME!!
Haiku # 4156, September 2, 2000 6:01 pm ET
by Guy Montag
Off to the concert
I thought you went with parents.
true, but also with him
Haiku # 4155, September 2, 2000 3:59 pm ET
by ScorpioiNova9
Holiday Weekend
Thousands come and decide this:
Ignore traffic laws
Haiku # 4154, September 1, 2000 5:35 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
Please, no wait, please don't,
I was on hold 3 hours!
Please--goddammit---(beeeeep)
Haiku # 4153, September 1, 2000 4:09 pm ET
by Granny of http://www.mindspring.com/%7Eemtjb/index.html
Pull my finger, son.
Hope your prom date doesn't mind,
Ooops, leaky diaper!
Haiku # 4152, September 1, 2000 4:06 pm ET
by Granny of http://www.mindspring.com/%7Eemtjb/index.html
Ill-tempered sea bass
With fricken laser beam heads
Throw me a bone here
Haiku # 4151, September 1, 2000 3:38 pm ET
by dingo@rat.org of Santa Clara, CA
scooby doobie doo
cleft palate lends a different
music to my ear
Haiku # 4150, September 1, 2000 3:22 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
hurling blue ephemerid
soar true through the air and dine
on tailgaters eye
Haiku # 4149, September 1, 2000 3:17 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
how does the dog know
he only chews the heads off
the small plastic toys
Haiku # 4148, September 1, 2000 3:01 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
meeting with the boss
not paying much attention
heh,heh...she said "wood"
Haiku # 4147, September 1, 2000 2:38 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
your soft pink anus
it winks at me in my dreams
pucker up, baby

if i was called sue
and i was quite attractive
i'd work for kit kat
Haiku # 4146, September 1, 2000 11:11 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i'd like to ride you
dressed as a naked cowboy
how does thursday sound?
Haiku # 4145, September 1, 2000 11:11 am ET
by Scrunty Device
hey! you! scooter boy!
scoot like you've never scooted!
Buffy's on in 5!

my fucking printer
vomits forth the vile slander
and not my homework

i have but five sweets
and five friends to share them with
but only two razors
Haiku # 4144, September 1, 2000 11:10 am ET
by Scrunty Device
wish i was geoff capes
then i'd have a beard and stuff
god, that'd be cool

louder than a bomb
bigger than bella emberg's arse
where shall i put it?

excuse me, mister
i saw that cucumber first
say, that's not right, man
Haiku # 4143, September 1, 2000 11:10 am ET
by Scrunty Device
transmission resumed
please enter user password
case sensitive, foo!

HOT ASIAN TEEN BABES
CLICK TO CUM ON THEIR FACES
the internet's great
Haiku # 4142, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
make me an omlette
try to make it without eggs
i like them that way

ungawa, cheetah!
big metal bird fall from sky
tonight we dine well
Haiku # 4141, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i'm not a dentist
not even a dental nurse
i fucking hate teeth
Haiku # 4140, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i climbed up a tree
with my new binoculars
that i leant on wood

lying on my back
'neath the blue arc of heaven
a bird shat on me
Haiku # 4139, September 1, 2000 11:08 am ET
by Scrunty Device
stop that professor!
DNA is not a toy!
i'm not your easel!

my leaky biro
writing without you would be
finger-lickin' good
Haiku # 4138, September 1, 2000 11:08 am ET
by Scrunty Device
let's all get jiggy
for it's the willennium
ha-ha ha-ha woo!

the ground is all wet
and the shop-fronts are drippy
damn my weak bladder
Haiku # 4137, September 1, 2000 11:07 am ET
by Scrunty Device
People from Norway
Smell more than those from Finland
Scientific fact!
Haiku # 4136, September 1, 2000 7:31 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
My telephone cord
Helical as DNA
But not as twisty
Haiku # 4135, September 1, 2000 7:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
Do Snapple do a
Urine-flavoured beverage
For perv refreshment?
Haiku # 4134, September 1, 2000 7:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
All men are born free
But are everywhere in chains
And maybe bracelets
Haiku # 4133, September 1, 2000 7:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
yawn repeatedly
five and a half hours slumber
that wasn't enough
Haiku # 4132, August 31, 2000 11:28 pm ET
by ash
Hey Red where are you?
Haven't seen you at the gym
is your shit melting?
Haiku # 4131, August 31, 2000 8:28 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
Ode to the Kia
cheap little piece of metal
you make my life hell
Haiku # 4130, August 31, 2000 8:23 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
hijackers onboard
another dryer sheet found
stuck inside my shirt
Haiku # 4129, August 31, 2000 5:09 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
now i understand
ex roomy not good with words
what a big turnoff
Haiku # 4128, August 31, 2000 5:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Roomates,oh the sex
desire it but oh the fun it
would have been not lost.
Haiku # 4127, August 31, 2000 4:59 pm ET
by Red
red, my ex roommate
never had sex together
i wonder why not
Haiku # 4126, August 31, 2000 4:55 pm ET
by Red
working on a car
need good ideas badly
do you have any
Haiku # 4125, August 31, 2000 4:54 pm ET
by Red
The oppressive heat
Watch nature's creatures suffer
Long live Central Air!
Haiku # 4124, August 31, 2000 3:25 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
Boss is a moron
Someone had to tell her that
Now, daytime t.v.
Haiku # 4123, August 31, 2000 2:07 pm ET
by Chellie of Florida
What have I eaten
To make the potty and I
Very close today?
Haiku # 4122, August 31, 2000 1:47 pm ET
by Lucylu of Kalamazoo
Went to your party
Horror! Aunt Flo has arrived!
Bitch ruined my dress
Haiku # 4121, August 31, 2000 11:34 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
Man this cd sucks
I loved it when I bought it
What was I thinking?
Haiku # 4120, August 31, 2000 11:20 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
This is my frist time
Writing a public haiku
Well, so far so good.
Haiku # 4119, August 31, 2000 11:17 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
piece of crap tab key
sitting there, mocking me and
my incomplete post
Haiku # 4118, August 31, 2000 9:14 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
pullover sweatshirt
Haiku # 4117, August 31, 2000 9:11 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
if she sells sea shells
by the seashore, then what would
she sell her clam for?
Haiku # 4116, August 31, 2000 9:08 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
John Robert Crawford
Haikus so bad, they call him
Mr. Bad Haiku
Haiku # 4115, August 31, 2000 12:07 am ET
by Bryce


so i ignore her
and before long she's asleep
curled at my feet



Haiku # 4114, August 30, 2000 8:57 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
she sees the cat treat
yet will not acknowledge it
for it is offered


Haiku # 4113, August 30, 2000 8:55 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
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