Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

Pumamonkey! He
is my hero... always there
for me. OINK WITH ME!!
Haiku # 4156, September 2, 2000 6:01 pm ET
by Guy Montag
Off to the concert
I thought you went with parents.
true, but also with him
Haiku # 4155, September 2, 2000 3:59 pm ET
by ScorpioiNova9
Holiday Weekend
Thousands come and decide this:
Ignore traffic laws
Haiku # 4154, September 1, 2000 5:35 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
Please, no wait, please don't,
I was on hold 3 hours!
Please--goddammit---(beeeeep)
Haiku # 4153, September 1, 2000 4:09 pm ET
by Granny of http://www.mindspring.com/%7Eemtjb/index.html
Pull my finger, son.
Hope your prom date doesn't mind,
Ooops, leaky diaper!
Haiku # 4152, September 1, 2000 4:06 pm ET
by Granny of http://www.mindspring.com/%7Eemtjb/index.html
Ill-tempered sea bass
With fricken laser beam heads
Throw me a bone here
Haiku # 4151, September 1, 2000 3:38 pm ET
by dingo@rat.org of Santa Clara, CA
scooby doobie doo
cleft palate lends a different
music to my ear
Haiku # 4150, September 1, 2000 3:22 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
hurling blue ephemerid
soar true through the air and dine
on tailgaters eye
Haiku # 4149, September 1, 2000 3:17 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
how does the dog know
he only chews the heads off
the small plastic toys
Haiku # 4148, September 1, 2000 3:01 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
meeting with the boss
not paying much attention
heh,heh...she said "wood"
Haiku # 4147, September 1, 2000 2:38 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
your soft pink anus
it winks at me in my dreams
pucker up, baby

if i was called sue
and i was quite attractive
i'd work for kit kat
Haiku # 4146, September 1, 2000 11:11 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i'd like to ride you
dressed as a naked cowboy
how does thursday sound?
Haiku # 4145, September 1, 2000 11:11 am ET
by Scrunty Device
hey! you! scooter boy!
scoot like you've never scooted!
Buffy's on in 5!

my fucking printer
vomits forth the vile slander
and not my homework

i have but five sweets
and five friends to share them with
but only two razors
Haiku # 4144, September 1, 2000 11:10 am ET
by Scrunty Device
wish i was geoff capes
then i'd have a beard and stuff
god, that'd be cool

louder than a bomb
bigger than bella emberg's arse
where shall i put it?

excuse me, mister
i saw that cucumber first
say, that's not right, man
Haiku # 4143, September 1, 2000 11:10 am ET
by Scrunty Device
transmission resumed
please enter user password
case sensitive, foo!

HOT ASIAN TEEN BABES
CLICK TO CUM ON THEIR FACES
the internet's great
Haiku # 4142, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
make me an omlette
try to make it without eggs
i like them that way

ungawa, cheetah!
big metal bird fall from sky
tonight we dine well
Haiku # 4141, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i'm not a dentist
not even a dental nurse
i fucking hate teeth
Haiku # 4140, September 1, 2000 11:09 am ET
by Scrunty Device
i climbed up a tree
with my new binoculars
that i leant on wood

lying on my back
'neath the blue arc of heaven
a bird shat on me
Haiku # 4139, September 1, 2000 11:08 am ET
by Scrunty Device
stop that professor!
DNA is not a toy!
i'm not your easel!

my leaky biro
writing without you would be
finger-lickin' good
Haiku # 4138, September 1, 2000 11:08 am ET
by Scrunty Device
let's all get jiggy
for it's the willennium
ha-ha ha-ha woo!

the ground is all wet
and the shop-fronts are drippy
damn my weak bladder
Haiku # 4137, September 1, 2000 11:07 am ET
by Scrunty Device
People from Norway
Smell more than those from Finland
Scientific fact!
Haiku # 4136, September 1, 2000 7:31 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
My telephone cord
Helical as DNA
But not as twisty
Haiku # 4135, September 1, 2000 7:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
Do Snapple do a
Urine-flavoured beverage
For perv refreshment?
Haiku # 4134, September 1, 2000 7:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
All men are born free
But are everywhere in chains
And maybe bracelets
Haiku # 4133, September 1, 2000 7:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
yawn repeatedly
five and a half hours slumber
that wasn't enough
Haiku # 4132, August 31, 2000 11:28 pm ET
by ash
Hey Red where are you?
Haven't seen you at the gym
is your shit melting?
Haiku # 4131, August 31, 2000 8:28 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
Ode to the Kia
cheap little piece of metal
you make my life hell
Haiku # 4130, August 31, 2000 8:23 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
hijackers onboard
another dryer sheet found
stuck inside my shirt
Haiku # 4129, August 31, 2000 5:09 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
now i understand
ex roomy not good with words
what a big turnoff
Haiku # 4128, August 31, 2000 5:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Roomates,oh the sex
desire it but oh the fun it
would have been not lost.
Haiku # 4127, August 31, 2000 4:59 pm ET
by Red
red, my ex roommate
never had sex together
i wonder why not
Haiku # 4126, August 31, 2000 4:55 pm ET
by Red
working on a car
need good ideas badly
do you have any
Haiku # 4125, August 31, 2000 4:54 pm ET
by Red
The oppressive heat
Watch nature's creatures suffer
Long live Central Air!
Haiku # 4124, August 31, 2000 3:25 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
Boss is a moron
Someone had to tell her that
Now, daytime t.v.
Haiku # 4123, August 31, 2000 2:07 pm ET
by Chellie of Florida
What have I eaten
To make the potty and I
Very close today?
Haiku # 4122, August 31, 2000 1:47 pm ET
by Lucylu of Kalamazoo
Went to your party
Horror! Aunt Flo has arrived!
Bitch ruined my dress
Haiku # 4121, August 31, 2000 11:34 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
Man this cd sucks
I loved it when I bought it
What was I thinking?
Haiku # 4120, August 31, 2000 11:20 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
This is my frist time
Writing a public haiku
Well, so far so good.
Haiku # 4119, August 31, 2000 11:17 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
piece of crap tab key
sitting there, mocking me and
my incomplete post
Haiku # 4118, August 31, 2000 9:14 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
pullover sweatshirt
Haiku # 4117, August 31, 2000 9:11 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
if she sells sea shells
by the seashore, then what would
she sell her clam for?
Haiku # 4116, August 31, 2000 9:08 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
John Robert Crawford
Haikus so bad, they call him
Mr. Bad Haiku
Haiku # 4115, August 31, 2000 12:07 am ET
by Bryce


so i ignore her
and before long she's asleep
curled at my feet



Haiku # 4114, August 30, 2000 8:57 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
she sees the cat treat
yet will not acknowledge it
for it is offered


Haiku # 4113, August 30, 2000 8:55 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
from hedge past the Olds
the hyper 'Teeq' darts onto
the warm Festiva
Haiku # 4112, August 30, 2000 8:54 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
Haiku # 4111, August 30, 2000 8:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
o bewitched feline
your tortoise shell conceals
your devilish heart
Haiku # 4110, August 30, 2000 8:40 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
ode to a dear friend
Tequila you coy princess
how i miss your "purrrt"
Haiku # 4109, August 30, 2000 8:39 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
ran 10K today
need a mike's hard lemonade
need to quench my thirst

Haiku # 4108, August 30, 2000 6:15 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
I have a dark secret
It's small and round and pointy
But in a good way
Haiku # 4107, August 30, 2000 6:08 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
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