Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

People from Norway
Smell more than those from Finland
Scientific fact!
Haiku # 4136, September 1, 2000 7:31 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
My telephone cord
Helical as DNA
But not as twisty
Haiku # 4135, September 1, 2000 7:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
Do Snapple do a
Urine-flavoured beverage
For perv refreshment?
Haiku # 4134, September 1, 2000 7:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
All men are born free
But are everywhere in chains
And maybe bracelets
Haiku # 4133, September 1, 2000 7:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
yawn repeatedly
five and a half hours slumber
that wasn't enough
Haiku # 4132, August 31, 2000 11:28 pm ET
by ash
Hey Red where are you?
Haven't seen you at the gym
is your shit melting?
Haiku # 4131, August 31, 2000 8:28 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
Ode to the Kia
cheap little piece of metal
you make my life hell
Haiku # 4130, August 31, 2000 8:23 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
hijackers onboard
another dryer sheet found
stuck inside my shirt
Haiku # 4129, August 31, 2000 5:09 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
now i understand
ex roomy not good with words
what a big turnoff
Haiku # 4128, August 31, 2000 5:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Roomates,oh the sex
desire it but oh the fun it
would have been not lost.
Haiku # 4127, August 31, 2000 4:59 pm ET
by Red
red, my ex roommate
never had sex together
i wonder why not
Haiku # 4126, August 31, 2000 4:55 pm ET
by Red
working on a car
need good ideas badly
do you have any
Haiku # 4125, August 31, 2000 4:54 pm ET
by Red
The oppressive heat
Watch nature's creatures suffer
Long live Central Air!
Haiku # 4124, August 31, 2000 3:25 pm ET
by Jason of Your Town, USA
Boss is a moron
Someone had to tell her that
Now, daytime t.v.
Haiku # 4123, August 31, 2000 2:07 pm ET
by Chellie of Florida
What have I eaten
To make the potty and I
Very close today?
Haiku # 4122, August 31, 2000 1:47 pm ET
by Lucylu of Kalamazoo
Went to your party
Horror! Aunt Flo has arrived!
Bitch ruined my dress
Haiku # 4121, August 31, 2000 11:34 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
Man this cd sucks
I loved it when I bought it
What was I thinking?
Haiku # 4120, August 31, 2000 11:20 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
This is my frist time
Writing a public haiku
Well, so far so good.
Haiku # 4119, August 31, 2000 11:17 am ET
by Chellie of Florida
piece of crap tab key
sitting there, mocking me and
my incomplete post
Haiku # 4118, August 31, 2000 9:14 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
pullover sweatshirt
Haiku # 4117, August 31, 2000 9:11 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
if she sells sea shells
by the seashore, then what would
she sell her clam for?
Haiku # 4116, August 31, 2000 9:08 am ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
John Robert Crawford
Haikus so bad, they call him
Mr. Bad Haiku
Haiku # 4115, August 31, 2000 12:07 am ET
by Bryce


so i ignore her
and before long she's asleep
curled at my feet



Haiku # 4114, August 30, 2000 8:57 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
she sees the cat treat
yet will not acknowledge it
for it is offered


Haiku # 4113, August 30, 2000 8:55 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
from hedge past the Olds
the hyper 'Teeq' darts onto
the warm Festiva
Haiku # 4112, August 30, 2000 8:54 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
Haiku # 4111, August 30, 2000 8:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
o bewitched feline
your tortoise shell conceals
your devilish heart
Haiku # 4110, August 30, 2000 8:40 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
ode to a dear friend
Tequila you coy princess
how i miss your "purrrt"
Haiku # 4109, August 30, 2000 8:39 pm ET
by Simba's Beefteeth of Hogtown
ran 10K today
need a mike's hard lemonade
need to quench my thirst

Haiku # 4108, August 30, 2000 6:15 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
I have a dark secret
It's small and round and pointy
But in a good way
Haiku # 4107, August 30, 2000 6:08 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
My high moral ground
Can make it quite difficult
To lick your finger
Haiku # 4106, August 30, 2000 6:07 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
Oh to be your hand
Now that summer is here
And you are shaven
Haiku # 4105, August 30, 2000 6:07 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
Hey mister dj
Play that funky beat once more
No, the other one
Haiku # 4104, August 30, 2000 6:07 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
The wheels on the bus
Go right round, baby, right round
Like crazy fuckers
Haiku # 4103, August 30, 2000 6:06 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
Take one green pepper
And a handful of bacon
If you really want
Haiku # 4102, August 30, 2000 6:06 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
The glorious boy!
See how he flexes his brain!
Like a squishy goo
Haiku # 4101, August 30, 2000 6:06 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
If you had twelve cats
And you put them in a row
Which would you eat first?
Haiku # 4100, August 30, 2000 6:05 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
All the church ladies
Are concealing their wedgies
That the vicar gave
Haiku # 4099, August 30, 2000 6:05 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
What's in your trousers?
They bulge ever so slightly
Have you lost a sock?
Haiku # 4098, August 30, 2000 6:04 pm ET
by Scrunty Device
DVD buyers
we must have you for dinner
upon our return
Haiku # 4097, August 30, 2000 4:01 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
Little wife must check
with her six foot five husband
to buy DVD
Haiku # 4096, August 30, 2000 3:56 pm ET
by Monty Hall of Venice
Look.. the odd buttons
At the bottom of the screen
Now sort of make sense
Haiku # 4095, August 25, 2000 5:27 pm ET
by Janis of Culver City
the swarm approaches
stimpack! tank cannon fire!
the zergish horde dies...
Haiku # 4094, August 25, 2000 4:26 pm ET
by Guy Montag
survivor withdrawl
no more jenna, no colleen
subscribe to playboy
Haiku # 4093, August 25, 2000 4:17 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
eyes glued to the screen
Britney Spears dancing about
think I see nipple
Haiku # 4092, August 25, 2000 4:14 pm ET
by dirty washcloth of SantaClara, CA
The voice of the kids
So loud, so choking... it makes
me act like i do
Haiku # 4091, August 25, 2000 3:29 pm ET
by Guy Montag
does any truth exist?
or is it all in our minds?
we can never know
Haiku # 4090, August 25, 2000 3:27 pm ET
by Guy Montag
Man I feel whacked out
Train of thought in slow motion
I need to get laid
Haiku # 4089, August 25, 2000 3:25 pm ET
by Guy Montag
i wonder if we can
still use html to
make our haikus nice
Haiku # 4088, August 25, 2000 3:23 pm ET
by Guy Montag
Don't dis this dick, bitch
don't throw it out the window
like Lorena did
Haiku # 4086, August 25, 2000 1:11 pm ET
by PlayDOG of Boston