Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 79 Days and 78057 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 79 Days and 78057 Haiku later...
The wheels on the bus
Go right round, baby, right round
Like crazy fuckers
Go right round, baby, right round
Like crazy fuckers
by
Take one green pepper
And a handful of bacon
If you really want
And a handful of bacon
If you really want
by
The glorious boy!
See how he flexes his brain!
Like a squishy goo
See how he flexes his brain!
Like a squishy goo
by
If you had twelve cats
And you put them in a row
Which would you eat first?
And you put them in a row
Which would you eat first?
by
All the church ladies
Are concealing their wedgies
That the vicar gave
Are concealing their wedgies
That the vicar gave
by
What's in your trousers?
They bulge ever so slightly
Have you lost a sock?
They bulge ever so slightly
Have you lost a sock?
by
DVD buyers
we must have you for dinner
upon our return
we must have you for dinner
upon our return
by of Venice
Little wife must check
with her six foot five husband
to buy DVD
with her six foot five husband
to buy DVD
by of Venice
Look.. the odd buttons
At the bottom of the screen
Now sort of make sense
At the bottom of the screen
Now sort of make sense
by of Culver City
the swarm approaches
stimpack! tank cannon fire!
the zergish horde dies...
stimpack! tank cannon fire!
the zergish horde dies...
by
survivor withdrawl
no more jenna, no colleen
subscribe to playboy
no more jenna, no colleen
subscribe to playboy
by of SantaClara, CA
eyes glued to the screen
Britney Spears dancing about
think I see nipple
Britney Spears dancing about
think I see nipple
by of SantaClara, CA
The voice of the kids
So loud, so choking... it makes
me act like i do
So loud, so choking... it makes
me act like i do
by
does any truth exist?
or is it all in our minds?
we can never know
or is it all in our minds?
we can never know
by
Man I feel whacked out
Train of thought in slow motion
I need to get laid
Train of thought in slow motion
I need to get laid
by
Don't dis this dick, bitch
don't throw it out the window
like Lorena did
don't throw it out the window
like Lorena did
by of Boston
lazy lesbian
fat fingers means that she is
a well hung biatch
fat fingers means that she is
a well hung biatch
by
cold calling sucks shit
most people are such assholes
I want to kill them
most people are such assholes
I want to kill them
by
fart and penis jokes
immature? perhaps, who cares
rather LOL
immature? perhaps, who cares
rather LOL
by of SantaClara, CA
feeling insecure
longing to be repected
for thoughtful haiku
longing to be repected
for thoughtful haiku
by of SantaClara, CA
I don't want to see
You're pretentious arse-talking
Any more, thank you
You're pretentious arse-talking
Any more, thank you
by
oh andi peters
i miss you and ed the duck
like i miss herpes
i miss you and ed the duck
like i miss herpes
by
you think i don't know
and if i'm honest who can
see another's heart?
but i'm the closest
you'll get to seeing
your whys and wherefores
wish i could show you
the sympathy you don't want
wish you'd let me in
and if i'm honest who can
see another's heart?
but i'm the closest
you'll get to seeing
your whys and wherefores
wish i could show you
the sympathy you don't want
wish you'd let me in
by of yup, here
brother don't fall down
wish you could see how much i
wish i could be there
your lost horizon
where s/he'll walk the long young years
grieves me helplessly
wish you could see how much i
wish i could be there
your lost horizon
where s/he'll walk the long young years
grieves me helplessly
by of yup, here
do you really want
to hurt me - do you really
want to make me cry...
Haiku everywhere
In the computer of life;
In bad 80s songs.
to hurt me - do you really
want to make me cry...
Haiku everywhere
In the computer of life;
In bad 80s songs.
by of Santa Monica
generosity
first last center core rind seeds
keep the jihad on
first last center core rind seeds
keep the jihad on
by of yup, here
generosity
first last center core rind seeds
keep the jihad on
first last center core rind seeds
keep the jihad on
by of yup, here
she looked at my nose
crap!...something must be hanging
stay calm...snif...sniiiifffff...wipe
crap!...something must be hanging
stay calm...snif...sniiiifffff...wipe
by of SantaClara, CA
If it wasn't for
Those voices inside my head
I'd feel all alone
They tell me secrets
Such as why delia smith
Uses limes so much
Those voices inside my head
I'd feel all alone
They tell me secrets
Such as why delia smith
Uses limes so much
by
There's no fear on earth
Like that when you drop a log
Bigger than your cock
Like that when you drop a log
Bigger than your cock
by
my vimto lolly
drip drop drips on my carpet
my arse is itchy
drip drop drips on my carpet
my arse is itchy
by
Girl in my bio class
All she talks about is sex
I turn away, scared
Scared that she, that men
will know my lust, and brand me
pervert! sicko! die!
All she talks about is sex
I turn away, scared
Scared that she, that men
will know my lust, and brand me
pervert! sicko! die!
by of IN
Do I really have
problems? I do not know. nor
can anyone tell
problems? I do not know. nor
can anyone tell
by of IN
when you think of it
it's hard to keep the rhythm
breathing in and out
it's hard to keep the rhythm
breathing in and out
by of SantaClara, CA
Social problems are
forgotten when I use comp.
Do I run from them?
forgotten when I use comp.
Do I run from them?
by of IN
Nothing about which
to talk; she thinks I hate her.
but it's fear, not hate
to talk; she thinks I hate her.
but it's fear, not hate
by of IN
So misunderstood!
or am I just that bad? that
they hate me? I'm boring.
or am I just that bad? that
they hate me? I'm boring.
by of IN
Old Navy, AF
social status symbols. they
tear the people apart
social status symbols. they
tear the people apart
by of IN
Yup i'm a nutcase
I know this all too well. I
just want a true friend
I know this all too well. I
just want a true friend
by of IN
I am misled by
the media. they tell me
what to think. i do
the media. they tell me
what to think. i do
by of IN
Three things thought about
in class: music, starcraft, sex
but i am deprived
in class: music, starcraft, sex
but i am deprived
by of IN
please, leave me alone
quit following me around
and don't call either
I know how that goes
funny, they don't seem to mind
long as you're buying
quit following me around
and don't call either
I know how that goes
funny, they don't seem to mind
long as you're buying
by of SantaClara, CA
a slack lower lip
does not necessarily
mean dick or no dick
does not necessarily
mean dick or no dick
by
I am so lonely
that I go to badhaiku
for company. sad
that I go to badhaiku
for company. sad
by of IN
how much does it cost?
depends, how much do you have?
luckily, they match
depends, how much do you have?
luckily, they match
by of SantaClara, CA
twisting in the breeze
wrapped in spider web cocoon
the shell of a fly
wrapped in spider web cocoon
the shell of a fly
by
I caress plastic
hand runs up to the fabric
i love my speakers!
hand runs up to the fabric
i love my speakers!
by of IN
take a look at this!
"Wow! how long is it?" she asked
wait, it also grows!
"Wow! how long is it?" she asked
wait, it also grows!
by of SantaClara, CA