Eric Idle says
"Always look at the bright side
Of life!" Thanks Eric

I retired from life
And found comfort in my death
And the world rejoiced

Another bender-
gorilla night, sandpaper
sex. viagra death.

O object to the
mandatory kigo in
haiku, why is this?

Rodent on the wheel
Running all fucking night long
Cat eats well tonight

Slingshot the hamster
Flying free through summer breeze
Till he hit a wall

The festive season
A time for getting shitfaced
And being naughty

from the murky depths
stalking, the mudshark rises
surfer snack yumyum

I must go on, yes.
The implacable now, is.
Denial is death.

Jerry Garcia
Walked out on the Edge of Life
To show us it''s there......

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

Militia bomb plan
Plot to add Y2K fears
FBI busts them

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991205/ts/crime_militia_2.html

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

Grieving scientists
Problems with the Mars Lander
Silence for two days

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991205/ts/space_mars_15.html

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

Eye under the knife
Will Stevie Wonder have sight?
Microchip in eye

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991205/re/life_wonder_3.html

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

He was a robber
Then he became an author
Now a cop killer

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991202/od/author_1.html

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

Tabloid paper pic
Miss U.K. shows her boobies
She claims she was duped

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991203/od/kingdom_1.html

IN THE NEWS HAIKU

Retired Kenyan man
Living it up on pension
Hooker steals his cash

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991203/od/retiree_1.html

Darting passed skyline
U.F.O''s over Shanghai
Flaming orange tail

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19991203/od/china_ufo_1.html

Pass this on, 10 friends
You too, will be annoying
As a hair-on-tongue

sometimes i wonder
sometimes i am wonderful
sometimes i am not

The sound of one hand
clapping/or is it the su-
shi bar''s aroma?

This thing is fucked up,
Or do I have double sight?
I say to myself......

My nuts are right here
Waiting for you to lick them!
You stupid bastard!!!

My nuts are right here
Waiting for you to lick them!
You stupid bastard!!!

From a mountain top
Or on the shores of the sea
I''m thinking of you

From a mountain top
Or on the shores of the sea
I''m thinking of you

Luftwaffe angels
Transmit tofu gesundtight
Gotterdammerungs

No rice allowed here.
The bells in her pelvis clang,
Who stole the duct tape?

Be my Buttmunch, man
and I will be your fairy
for I have no life

Be my Buttmunch, man
and I will be your fairy
forever lifeless

IRC adict
Dont know why i still come here
I should really leave

Eternal truth,nay
why not settle for something
less obnoxious: suds.

The first line has five
The second line has seven
The last line has five

It`s five, seven, five,
Not seven, ten and fourteen.
Do you know nothing?

leafblower backstrapped yardmen
roam the grounds rounding up brown-orange-red
earthworm stampede

Men in high stockings
Roaming the streets in dresses.
Life in Klingerville

Slippery frogs are
so damn hard to shish-kebob.
I punctured her nuts.

Dog squatting
Results come quickly
Steamy brown

a deer lies beside the road discarded
victim of a cell phone yakker
moron

Forces of evil
Here I sit broken hearted
Pickles really kick ass

DVD movies,
Famous flics on pricey disks,
They make great coasters.

My Pez dispensers,
Kermit, Batman, Chewbacca,
Vomit red candy.

My anaconda,
Lovable pet that gives higs,
But he ate my cat.

I love Halloween.
Doorbells ringing, trick or treat,
Flaming bag of dung.

Novus Ciclorum
Where the Gaurdians rule all
And nature rules them

Gaurdian Leo
This beast is strong as an ox
Protects against bad

global corporate stress relief run
to restroom repeatedly flush toilet closeyed
soulsoothing jungle waterfall ahhhhhhh

woman at express checkout with too many items
so selfimportant won''t she be surprised
when uncaring death takes her as it does us, ultimately

W.T.O.
Say goodbye to your freedoms
This will change your lives

My buddy Jack-O
Stepped over the edge and looked
He''s now a half-tard

Life on AOL
is sooooo bad that I''m thinking
I must kill myself!!!

A creative lull
Passes over like a storm
Diluting our lives