Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 358 Days and 77343 Haiku later...

Eternal truth,nay
why not settle for something
less obnoxious: suds.
Haiku # 2699, December 2, 1999 8:13 pm ET
by Basho-matic
The first line has five
The second line has seven
The last line has five
Haiku # 2698, December 2, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Admiral Quality of Toronto, Canada
It`s five, seven, five,
Not seven, ten and fourteen.
Do you know nothing?
Haiku # 2697, December 2, 1999 8:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
leafblower backstrapped yardmen
roam the grounds rounding up brown-orange-red
earthworm stampede
Haiku # 2696, December 2, 1999 7:07 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Men in high stockings
Roaming the streets in dresses.
Life in Klingerville
Haiku # 2695, December 2, 1999 2:23 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Slippery frogs are
so damn hard to shish-kebob.
I punctured her nuts.
Haiku # 2694, December 1, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Basho-matic
Dog squatting
Results come quickly
Steamy brown
Haiku # 2693, December 1, 1999 8:41 am ET
by Paul Corazza of Austin,
a deer lies beside the road discarded
victim of a cell phone yakker
moron
Haiku # 2692, December 1, 1999 7:10 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Forces of evil
Here I sit broken hearted
Pickles really kick ass
Haiku # 2691, November 30, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Payne of Edmonton, Canada
DVD movies,
Famous flics on pricey disks,
They make great coasters.
Haiku # 2690, November 30, 1999 2:42 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
My Pez dispensers,
Kermit, Batman, Chewbacca,
Vomit red candy.
Haiku # 2689, November 30, 1999 2:41 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
My anaconda,
Lovable pet that gives higs,
But he ate my cat.
Haiku # 2688, November 30, 1999 2:40 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
I love Halloween.
Doorbells ringing, trick or treat,
Flaming bag of dung.
Haiku # 2687, November 30, 1999 2:38 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
Novus Ciclorum
Where the Gaurdians rule all
And nature rules them
Haiku # 2686, November 30, 1999 2:26 pm ET
by dira'i of d'ani, Novus Ciclorum
Gaurdian Leo
This beast is strong as an ox
Protects against bad
Haiku # 2685, November 30, 1999 2:17 pm ET
by Jennifer Eldridge of D'ani, Novus Ciclorum
global corporate stress relief run
to restroom repeatedly flush toilet closeyed
soulsoothing jungle waterfall ahhhhhhh
Haiku # 2684, November 30, 1999 12:28 pm ET
by mondongo of Houston
woman at express checkout with too many items
so selfimportant won''t she be surprised
when uncaring death takes her as it does us, ultimately
Haiku # 2683, November 30, 1999 6:41 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
W.T.O.
Say goodbye to your freedoms
This will change your lives
Haiku # 2682, November 30, 1999 3:25 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
My buddy Jack-O
Stepped over the edge and looked
He''s now a half-tard
Haiku # 2681, November 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Life on AOL
is sooooo bad that I''m thinking
I must kill myself!!!
Haiku # 2680, November 30, 1999 3:14 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
A creative lull
Passes over like a storm
Diluting our lives
Haiku # 2679, November 30, 1999 3:13 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
morning fogmass laying low
a moist dullwhite pancake floating above the ground
photon cushion
Haiku # 2678, November 29, 1999 7:26 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
My toaster has died
Just when I craved crispy bread
Feel the tragedy
Haiku # 2677, November 29, 1999 2:22 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Someday I will try
I will be the President
I will get shot down
Haiku # 2676, November 28, 1999 11:04 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Universal Soldiers
Who pump aimlessly at night
Heaven sealed its'' door
Haiku # 2675, November 28, 1999 11:00 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
remember, poop chutes
are the universal hole
watch out pets, Run RUNNNN.
Haiku # 2674, November 28, 1999 10:54 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
As time rolls On, I
Realize Just What You Mean
To Me... a paycheck
Haiku # 2673, November 28, 1999 10:51 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Unc'' "We wrote the book
on procrastination but
Haven''t published yet"
Haiku # 2672, November 28, 1999 10:42 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
a small mystery
why do they call it pussy
when it smells like fish?
Haiku # 2671, November 28, 1999 6:10 pm ET
by ash
Fireman hate drunks!
They crash the hook and ladder
and tap hose to keg!
Haiku # 2670, November 28, 1999 4:54 pm ET
by Kackarott
Engine still at home
No money motherfucker
Wont move til fifty!
Haiku # 2669, November 28, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by Kackarott
Michael McKiernan
Cat piss smelling interview
No fat firemen!
Haiku # 2668, November 28, 1999 4:37 pm ET
by Kackarott
the shit you''re making
equals the crap you''re faking
roger that houston!
Haiku # 2667, November 28, 1999 7:58 am ET
by Lifer of San Quentin,
dry turkeys kick ass
destroy your favorite groups
illuminati
Haiku # 2666, November 27, 1999 3:14 pm ET
by oldnasty
Red-heads love fat cock
Jake,too bad you can''t have mine.
Sorry but I''m straight
Haiku # 2665, November 26, 1999 10:44 pm ET
by HaiPoo
Chocolate sex queen
Spank your dance for me only
Oreo''s in hand
Haiku # 2664, November 24, 1999 10:47 am ET
by Kackarott
naked midget women mudwrestling
brownglistening jiggling tits spotlight
gleaming on slippery rump sparks my desire
Haiku # 2663, November 24, 1999 6:03 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Ah, to gyrate here
inside a surly midget
dirty little guy
Haiku # 2662, November 23, 1999 7:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
my dearest midget,
how i long for us to make
lucrative movies
Haiku # 2661, November 23, 1999 7:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you''re so lickety
I fear a groinal rupture
near my plinky poo
Haiku # 2660, November 23, 1999 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?
Haiku # 2659, November 23, 1999 7:05 pm ET
by Richard L. of Kumquat the sasquatch indian,
licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?
Haiku # 2658, November 23, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Richard L. of Kumquat the sasquatch indian,
bad haiku today
keeps the geisha girls away
cherry blossoms whine
Haiku # 2657, November 23, 1999 2:04 pm ET
by Basho-matic
crisp air, falling orange red leaves
magic just to be in the here and now
unless of course you''re a turkey
Haiku # 2656, November 23, 1999 1:49 pm ET
by mondongo of Houston
my boss just raped me
the cops said I asked for it
with my work ethic

so I killed the cops
and passed out their guns to crooks
one of whom raped me

the story''s moral?
don''t look so hard for morals
you fucking nitwit
Haiku # 2655, November 23, 1999 11:54 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I''m a pinata
beat me good with a big stick
and candy results
Haiku # 2654, November 23, 1999 11:48 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
the furious ape
flings his feces at the sky
his god laughs at him
Haiku # 2653, November 23, 1999 11:39 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
one ''g'' for a bundle of wood
two ''g'' for a woody wanter
gee...
Haiku # 2652, November 23, 1999 7:22 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Ah, do you not see?
If you can apply logic,
It`s just the one G.
Haiku # 2651, November 23, 1999 4:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Feet firmly on ground.
Attitude is Born Again.
There''s rebirth in Drink!
Haiku # 2650, November 23, 1999 2:49 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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