Novus Ciclorum
Where the Gaurdians rule all
And nature rules them

Gaurdian Leo
This beast is strong as an ox
Protects against bad

global corporate stress relief run
to restroom repeatedly flush toilet closeyed
soulsoothing jungle waterfall ahhhhhhh

woman at express checkout with too many items
so selfimportant won''t she be surprised
when uncaring death takes her as it does us, ultimately

W.T.O.
Say goodbye to your freedoms
This will change your lives

My buddy Jack-O
Stepped over the edge and looked
He''s now a half-tard

Life on AOL
is sooooo bad that I''m thinking
I must kill myself!!!

A creative lull
Passes over like a storm
Diluting our lives

morning fogmass laying low
a moist dullwhite pancake floating above the ground
photon cushion

My toaster has died
Just when I craved crispy bread
Feel the tragedy

Someday I will try
I will be the President
I will get shot down

Universal Soldiers
Who pump aimlessly at night
Heaven sealed its'' door

remember, poop chutes
are the universal hole
watch out pets, Run RUNNNN.

As time rolls On, I
Realize Just What You Mean
To Me... a paycheck

Unc'' "We wrote the book
on procrastination but
Haven''t published yet"

a small mystery
why do they call it pussy
when it smells like fish?

Fireman hate drunks!
They crash the hook and ladder
and tap hose to keg!

Engine still at home
No money motherfucker
Wont move til fifty!

Michael McKiernan
Cat piss smelling interview
No fat firemen!

the shit you''re making
equals the crap you''re faking
roger that houston!

dry turkeys kick ass
destroy your favorite groups
illuminati

Red-heads love fat cock
Jake,too bad you can''t have mine.
Sorry but I''m straight

Chocolate sex queen
Spank your dance for me only
Oreo''s in hand

naked midget women mudwrestling
brownglistening jiggling tits spotlight
gleaming on slippery rump sparks my desire

Ah, to gyrate here
inside a surly midget
dirty little guy

my dearest midget,
how i long for us to make
lucrative movies

you''re so lickety
I fear a groinal rupture
near my plinky poo

licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?

licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?

bad haiku today
keeps the geisha girls away
cherry blossoms whine

crisp air, falling orange red leaves
magic just to be in the here and now
unless of course you''re a turkey

my boss just raped me
the cops said I asked for it
with my work ethic

so I killed the cops
and passed out their guns to crooks
one of whom raped me

the story''s moral?
don''t look so hard for morals
you fucking nitwit

I''m a pinata
beat me good with a big stick
and candy results

the furious ape
flings his feces at the sky
his god laughs at him

one ''g'' for a bundle of wood
two ''g'' for a woody wanter
gee...

Ah, do you not see?
If you can apply logic,
It`s just the one G.

Feet firmly on ground.
Attitude is Born Again.
There''s rebirth in Drink!

Tripped to Ottawa
The Land of soooooo many Pubs
It was a Bender

abandon all hope
ye who diddle away here
fame eludeth thee

orange and brown
words that suggest odor
pink

I always thought that
Brown, with an emphasis on
Light was called ''Light Brown''.

Which scientists, where?
I bet they`re all colour-blind
And speccy, to boot.

All scientists say
That chicks don`t know squat about
Things that are orange

Gather ye rosebuds
While ye may but better still
Buy a costly watch

observing anal lifeform at elevator door
repeatedly pushing button thinking urgency will help
diagnose shit for brains

reckon they ate moose
meat the gravy was wavy.
Ask Davy Crockett.

testosterone ice-
cream pulverizes tonsils
eskimo scrotums

hark what lipo suc-
tion signifies I detect
in your lips. Kiss off.

hark what lipo suc-
tion signifies I detect
in your lips. Kiss off.

Magical Mushrooms
In a race to see who can
Get me more fucked up