Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 358 Days and 77343 Haiku later...

No rice allowed here.
The bells in her pelvis clang,
Who stole the duct tape?
Haiku # 2703, December 3, 1999 3:25 pm ET
by Basho-matic
Be my Buttmunch, man
and I will be your fairy
for I have no life
Haiku # 2702, December 3, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Ren of Quakertown, usa
Be my Buttmunch, man
and I will be your fairy
forever lifeless
Haiku # 2701, December 3, 1999 8:43 am ET
by Ren of Quakertown, usa
IRC adict
Dont know why i still come here
I should really leave
Haiku # 2700, December 3, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Damien of Honolulu,
Eternal truth,nay
why not settle for something
less obnoxious: suds.
Haiku # 2699, December 2, 1999 8:13 pm ET
by Basho-matic
The first line has five
The second line has seven
The last line has five
Haiku # 2698, December 2, 1999 2:08 pm ET
by Admiral Quality of Toronto, Canada
It`s five, seven, five,
Not seven, ten and fourteen.
Do you know nothing?
Haiku # 2697, December 2, 1999 8:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
leafblower backstrapped yardmen
roam the grounds rounding up brown-orange-red
earthworm stampede
Haiku # 2696, December 2, 1999 7:07 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Men in high stockings
Roaming the streets in dresses.
Life in Klingerville
Haiku # 2695, December 2, 1999 2:23 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Slippery frogs are
so damn hard to shish-kebob.
I punctured her nuts.
Haiku # 2694, December 1, 1999 1:36 pm ET
by Basho-matic
Dog squatting
Results come quickly
Steamy brown
Haiku # 2693, December 1, 1999 8:41 am ET
by Paul Corazza of Austin,
a deer lies beside the road discarded
victim of a cell phone yakker
moron
Haiku # 2692, December 1, 1999 7:10 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Forces of evil
Here I sit broken hearted
Pickles really kick ass
Haiku # 2691, November 30, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Payne of Edmonton, Canada
DVD movies,
Famous flics on pricey disks,
They make great coasters.
Haiku # 2690, November 30, 1999 2:42 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
My Pez dispensers,
Kermit, Batman, Chewbacca,
Vomit red candy.
Haiku # 2689, November 30, 1999 2:41 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
My anaconda,
Lovable pet that gives higs,
But he ate my cat.
Haiku # 2688, November 30, 1999 2:40 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
I love Halloween.
Doorbells ringing, trick or treat,
Flaming bag of dung.
Haiku # 2687, November 30, 1999 2:38 pm ET
by Mortis, R. Igor of Coughnia
Novus Ciclorum
Where the Gaurdians rule all
And nature rules them
Haiku # 2686, November 30, 1999 2:26 pm ET
by dira'i of d'ani, Novus Ciclorum
Gaurdian Leo
This beast is strong as an ox
Protects against bad
Haiku # 2685, November 30, 1999 2:17 pm ET
by Jennifer Eldridge of D'ani, Novus Ciclorum
global corporate stress relief run
to restroom repeatedly flush toilet closeyed
soulsoothing jungle waterfall ahhhhhhh
Haiku # 2684, November 30, 1999 12:28 pm ET
by mondongo of Houston
woman at express checkout with too many items
so selfimportant won''t she be surprised
when uncaring death takes her as it does us, ultimately
Haiku # 2683, November 30, 1999 6:41 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
W.T.O.
Say goodbye to your freedoms
This will change your lives
Haiku # 2682, November 30, 1999 3:25 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
My buddy Jack-O
Stepped over the edge and looked
He''s now a half-tard
Haiku # 2681, November 30, 1999 3:20 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Life on AOL
is sooooo bad that I''m thinking
I must kill myself!!!
Haiku # 2680, November 30, 1999 3:14 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
A creative lull
Passes over like a storm
Diluting our lives
Haiku # 2679, November 30, 1999 3:13 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
morning fogmass laying low
a moist dullwhite pancake floating above the ground
photon cushion
Haiku # 2678, November 29, 1999 7:26 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
My toaster has died
Just when I craved crispy bread
Feel the tragedy
Haiku # 2677, November 29, 1999 2:22 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Someday I will try
I will be the President
I will get shot down
Haiku # 2676, November 28, 1999 11:04 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Universal Soldiers
Who pump aimlessly at night
Heaven sealed its'' door
Haiku # 2675, November 28, 1999 11:00 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
remember, poop chutes
are the universal hole
watch out pets, Run RUNNNN.
Haiku # 2674, November 28, 1999 10:54 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
As time rolls On, I
Realize Just What You Mean
To Me... a paycheck
Haiku # 2673, November 28, 1999 10:51 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Unc'' "We wrote the book
on procrastination but
Haven''t published yet"
Haiku # 2672, November 28, 1999 10:42 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
a small mystery
why do they call it pussy
when it smells like fish?
Haiku # 2671, November 28, 1999 6:10 pm ET
by ash
Fireman hate drunks!
They crash the hook and ladder
and tap hose to keg!
Haiku # 2670, November 28, 1999 4:54 pm ET
by Kackarott
Engine still at home
No money motherfucker
Wont move til fifty!
Haiku # 2669, November 28, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by Kackarott
Michael McKiernan
Cat piss smelling interview
No fat firemen!
Haiku # 2668, November 28, 1999 4:37 pm ET
by Kackarott
the shit you''re making
equals the crap you''re faking
roger that houston!
Haiku # 2667, November 28, 1999 7:58 am ET
by Lifer of San Quentin,
dry turkeys kick ass
destroy your favorite groups
illuminati
Haiku # 2666, November 27, 1999 3:14 pm ET
by oldnasty
Red-heads love fat cock
Jake,too bad you can''t have mine.
Sorry but I''m straight
Haiku # 2665, November 26, 1999 10:44 pm ET
by HaiPoo
Chocolate sex queen
Spank your dance for me only
Oreo''s in hand
Haiku # 2664, November 24, 1999 10:47 am ET
by Kackarott
naked midget women mudwrestling
brownglistening jiggling tits spotlight
gleaming on slippery rump sparks my desire
Haiku # 2663, November 24, 1999 6:03 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Ah, to gyrate here
inside a surly midget
dirty little guy
Haiku # 2662, November 23, 1999 7:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
my dearest midget,
how i long for us to make
lucrative movies
Haiku # 2661, November 23, 1999 7:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you''re so lickety
I fear a groinal rupture
near my plinky poo
Haiku # 2660, November 23, 1999 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?
Haiku # 2659, November 23, 1999 7:05 pm ET
by Richard L. of Kumquat the sasquatch indian,
licking my own nips
i''m searching for elixir
what became of my boku?
Haiku # 2658, November 23, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Richard L. of Kumquat the sasquatch indian,
bad haiku today
keeps the geisha girls away
cherry blossoms whine
Haiku # 2657, November 23, 1999 2:04 pm ET
by Basho-matic
crisp air, falling orange red leaves
magic just to be in the here and now
unless of course you''re a turkey
Haiku # 2656, November 23, 1999 1:49 pm ET
by mondongo of Houston
my boss just raped me
the cops said I asked for it
with my work ethic

so I killed the cops
and passed out their guns to crooks
one of whom raped me

the story''s moral?
don''t look so hard for morals
you fucking nitwit
Haiku # 2655, November 23, 1999 11:54 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I''m a pinata
beat me good with a big stick
and candy results
Haiku # 2654, November 23, 1999 11:48 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
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