hot wool everywhere
my balls smell like burnt lamb chops
mint jelly soaked sheets

Your sheepish grin speaks
volumes, and we all know that
you're a baaaaaad liar.

that sheep never lies
standing there now, back to you
dripping evidence

You can't prove a thing
No one can prove what happened
The sheep are liars!

Romantic haikus
Have a place here but they must,
Of Course, suck out loud.

Happy birthday Steve
Tomorrow is your big day
Get drunk off your ass

Fuck off dear bastard
Extraordinary dickhead
Take quarter, buy life

In the morning I
have a shitty voice that's great
for calling in sick.

There once was a Jane
in whose pocket I'd love to
blast off my rocket

There once was a Jane
from Princeton who'd sit on my
face and smoke Winstons

There once was a Jane
from Nantucket who's clit was
so fine I'd suck it

There once was a guy
Who instead of limericks
Wrote me love haikus

hygiene and pizza
the anguish of bad acne
they bring the deep dish

my aching lungs wheeze
no money for the gas bill
need fresh bongwater

if we had women
we could have some hot tub sex
if we had hot tub

thank you very much
a queen size bed means more room
for sex with myself

OK, I dont mind
Its my pleasure to do them
I love the dishes

Sometimes I wonder:
How much ejaculated,
Any night on Earth?

Toasted cheese sandwich
A Noblemans invention
Ow Fuck! burnt my lip.

Why should I do them?
If I got home earlier
I would cook, you clean.

Always the dishes
Eating and making a mess
And always my turn

The girl is happy
She hugs every puppy
And laughs at their bites

I'm sorry you're sad
But you're not allowed to live
Vicariously

we laughed at the thought
her teeth grinding in her sleep
in a bathroom cup

weird looking small fish
blue betassled doral fin
so who's the freak now?

if we had some ham
we could have some ham and eggs
if we had some eggs

here is an oldy

but fine piece of bad haiku

the man is knocking



if we had some ham
we could have some ham and eggs

if we had some eggs
oldnasty

livin is easy
when you stroll through large cactus
and don't wear no drawers