took a massive shit
contemplated size and girth
stood in disbelief

drawing nude people
is harder than you might think
the same goes for me

March comes in like a
lion and goes ot like a
skank in a cat fight.

I wouldn't fuck her
with a dog's dick and someone
else's pelvic thrusts.

trained my grandma's dog
to piss on the kitchen floor
when someone sneezes

no haiku G-Man?
the poison is in your brain
and u will submit

hey jane, with that brain
don't repeat your sad refrain
ivy ! ivy ! way !

I don't like Haikusand you can't make me write emever

I have never claimed
To be a fan of this state
Polluted Jersey

i also smell bad
but my mother always said
i am a great catch

Ivy wannabe
In the asshole of the world
Princeton, New Jersey

i must feel threatened
cause i have a small penis
and i can't count

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

my new country song
'Don't Wipe Your Ass With My Heart'
is gonna be huge

if I was Tom Hanks
I'd take a crap in a box
and mail it to Meg

ran over something
too dark to see, felt the thump
boy do my nuts itch

If I am so sweet,
How can you feel so threatened?
Come on; be honest.

once I smoked a joint
in a bush at MIT
still I am humble

they say happiness
is a thing that can't be touched
good-bye porno mags

knowledge is power
but power tends to corrupt
be careful sweet Jane

Princeton ballsuckers:
Nobody gives a fuck where
you go to college.

a blue tongue lizard
fresh tomatoes on the vine
sweet frangipani

knowledge is fleeting
institutions rise and fall
princeton isn't god

When we told those jokes,
No one knew your wife's Polish.
A thousand pardons.

Princeton is knowledge
Just because you lack the same
Do not be jealous

Princeton must be proud
of such talented students
sharp like bowling balls

If an infiniteNumber of apes were online,They'd use AOL.

Enough! Or I'll shove
Bottles up your asses and
Kick them 'til they break!

you assholes bore me
classist, artless, obvious
as dumb as Ayn Rand

Capitalism:
Our friend and Benefactor!
Ash sir, embrace it!

You asked me to write
And I did just that, it's true
So why not reply?

capitalism
is sublimated desire
low in any case

Desktop Trainspotting
1 train, 2 trains, 3 trains, 4...
Cerebal challenge.

Palpitating heart
Sweaty body, Nausea.
A-munting we go.

right back at you, Ash
my mail does not work on send
so it's up to you

u got my number
so send a message sometime
no time like the present

Nope, sorry you will
Confuse some other poor jane
That's why I switched it

if u r janer
at aol i believe
check out your mail box

Half Russian, I am
As descendant of many
Am still tired soul

ironic indeed
victory by persistence
is a russian trait

Do you AOL
Instant messenger is fun
And easy to use

Oh my friend ash-man:
It is past my bed time now
I'm gonna go-bye!!

Goodnight friend Stephen
And to you, stranger Ash, too
Tonight was tres odd

continue elsewhere?
come to a chat room somewhere
let's not hog the site

Twenty-seven heures
That's as nasty as can be
Reminds me of sleep

I take great offense
At your last remark Steven
Don't make me join Ash

i'm at home right now
twenty-seven hours on duty
wins me some time off

Hey ash my main man
Youth can practice deceit too!
Idealistic?-nope