Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 25 Days and 77405 Haiku later...

Jim Vorel loves Q.
He loves Q more than his wife.
And more than your life.
Haiku # 75103, March 10, 2022 3:24 pm ET
by Quentin Quisp of Quisling Quorum
Best of internet:
It's this website: Bad Haiku.
You were born for this.
Haiku # 75102, March 10, 2022 2:45 pm ET
by Hillary Clintong of Anthiny Weener
I think I'll sick up
Longpig and motion sickness
Lord, this bus ride stinks!
Haiku # 75101, March 10, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by Barf Figpuker of Bus
Why do you haiku?
Something to do While you poo?
You know it is true
Haiku # 75099, March 9, 2022 9:43 am ET
by Gildon Bert
High ku, lo ku-ku
Waikiki or why haiku
Haiku you, we high.
Haiku # 75098, March 8, 2022 10:12 pm ET
by Don Gilbert of Internet
I'm "devastated"
And I am "heartbroken" too.
(The George Soros show).
Haiku # 75095, March 8, 2022 8:56 am ET
by Strictly Re-runs of Hungary
Best Birdseed Breakfast
West of the Rocky Mountains
Stick that in your beak
Haiku # 75094, March 8, 2022 7:19 am ET
by Tip of my beak
A bowel movement
consisting of syllables
is headed your way
Haiku # 75093, March 8, 2022 5:48 am ET
by Glory of Morning
Russia has the bomb
Vladimir wants to use it
Paranoid nut job
Haiku # 75092, March 7, 2022 10:52 pm ET
by He's so short, hung like gerbil
Russia is the BOMB.
Vladimir is our savior!
He is superman.
Haiku # 75091, March 7, 2022 5:33 pm ET
by And Mr. P is Super-sexy too
Russia sucks dog balls
Talk about third world shit holes
Corrupted leader
Haiku # 75090, March 7, 2022 10:07 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Imprint of a boot
All of that moon shit was fake
We were playing space.
Haiku # 75088, March 7, 2022 1:18 am ET
by Noticer of Dusty Footprint improperly cooked N.Y. Strip steak( Encino)
Wail hay thar. Hit's me,
Yer ole knuckle-draggin frind...
So LET's GO BRANDON !
Haiku # 75087, March 6, 2022 10:18 pm ET
by Klaus Schwab of Old Smoky Mountains
Free crackpipe sandwich!
Poupon your roast beast! Slathered!
Fifty shards of Darth!
Haiku # 75086, March 6, 2022 7:03 pm ET
by Calling my Lawyer of Immediately
That's packing a lunch!
Fifty shades of Grey Poupon.
Slathered on Roast Beast.
Haiku # 75085, March 6, 2022 5:55 pm ET
by Luncheon of Holiday Inn , Encino, California
I prefer sandwich
Stuffed full of tasty goodness
Like your mom's buttocks
Haiku # 75084, March 6, 2022 5:45 pm ET
by Pervert Dinosaur
The free crack pipe lie?
Shut up and kiss Mike Lindell
And drop your pants
Haiku # 75082, March 6, 2022 9:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yes, Agrohimnee.
I will bring device to Kiev.
You have timer codes?
Haiku # 75081, March 5, 2022 8:25 am ET
by Marilyn Ninna of Humanitarian Non-profit Troll Farm
Stop your squawking, friend.
It's time for Birdie num nums.
It's time to party
Haiku # 75078, March 4, 2022 9:08 pm ET
by Noticer of num nums
Biden: free crack pipes.
Russia: invade the Ukraine.
C.I.A: "We win!"
Haiku # 75077, March 4, 2022 12:03 pm ET
by Chants of "Let's Go BRANDON !"
Put in your two cents
You will receive one haiku
and two freeze dried farts
Haiku # 75075, March 3, 2022 11:42 pm ET
by Deal of The Day
Put in then put out.
Put up or shut up. Haiku:
What we want from you.
Haiku # 75073, March 3, 2022 8:25 pm ET
by Volodimir of Vladimir
if you're feeling red
and you want your neighbours dead
putin on the blitz
Haiku # 75072, March 3, 2022 6:20 am ET
by ash of get back in the ussr
The moon is old cheese
From the moon, the cheese tides swell
Blame Darth for the smell
Haiku # 75069, March 2, 2022 2:30 am ET
by Songs of The Fig Pluckers
Faint tinkling of tune...
You will piss like a monsoon
The ladies will swoon
Haiku # 75068, March 2, 2022 12:30 am ET
by Noticer of Biology
You in the cocoon
Dangling all aglow with moon
When do you bust out?
Haiku # 75067, March 1, 2022 10:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
I crane, you crane, we
all crane for Ukraine. Put in
a bit more effort.
Haiku # 75066, March 1, 2022 7:10 am ET
by Kenneth Affok of Россия
The Beak of the Week
Do any birds have big dinks?
Flightless ones, perhaps
Haiku # 75065, March 1, 2022 1:21 am ET
by 65th 75th ex of Manmoth, New Jersey
The world will be gone
before the chrysalis pops.
Better to be dead.
Haiku # 75064, February 28, 2022 2:07 am ET
by SLOTHMAN
I awoke once more
With that music heart feeling
Mind orchestra plays
Back Where I Belong
By Baroness (post chorus)
As I think of her
Spacetime's been weaving
An emotion tapestry
And I realize
Stunned hyperventilating:
This is my cocoon
Grown over new wings
That now grow, fill with my blood
Soon... I seek the moon
Haiku # 75063, February 28, 2022 12:00 am ET
by MANMOTH of Hanging upside down from a little branch, throbbing slightly but hopefully not enough to attract predators
Uncomfortably numb
He said that it was put in
I didn't feel it
Haiku # 75060, February 26, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Melania Trump of USA
I am too boring
To putin any effort.
So I invade you.
Haiku # 75059, February 26, 2022 2:30 pm ET
by Noticer of Vladimir's Mother
Enlighten yourself
Put in some effort for once
You are so boring
Haiku # 75058, February 26, 2022 1:28 pm ET
by Bye bye
Got better lies, you?
Have you transcended their lies?
So enlighten me.
Haiku # 75057, February 26, 2022 11:46 am ET
by Your Disciple of Lies
Lies are all you have
So desperate, you believe
So they give you more
Haiku # 75056, February 26, 2022 9:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Biden's son got rich
On Ukraine energy board.
Crack cocaine. Hookers.
Haiku # 75055, February 25, 2022 11:07 pm ET
by Take Administrators Seriously of HA HA HAHA HA HAHA
Corporate data:
Technocratic death-in-life.
Just say "NO" to beast.
Haiku # 75054, February 25, 2022 1:38 pm ET
by Revelation of Global Techno-tyranny
Corporate pastel:
Those flat clip-art office scenes...
Data-driven death.
Haiku # 75053, February 24, 2022 4:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Mass Death
Look, up in the sky!
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...
Someone noticing.
Haiku # 75049, February 23, 2022 1:46 pm ET
by Quack
The tide brings garbage.
From the moon the tides arise.
So we blame the moon.
Haiku # 75048, February 23, 2022 6:19 am ET
by .
Frogs singing loudly.
Vibrations open gateways.
A good place to be.
Haiku # 75047, February 23, 2022 6:15 am ET
by .
There is no TP.
But do not worry, Beavis;
Just use the bidet.
Haiku # 75046, February 23, 2022 5:20 am ET
by Dish sprayer. of Clean enough to eat off of.
Cat poop's better than
Toblerone or Tootsie Rolls.
That's what's in my head.
Haiku # 75045, February 23, 2022 5:14 am ET
by Star Wars pinata.
I notice that you
assume more than you notice.
Look to other side.

With all your power,
please destroy the evil one.
And don't dis Jesus.
Haiku # 75044, February 23, 2022 4:58 am ET
by Just don't
Back to bowel movements:
Darth returns to his first love.
And we are impressed.
Haiku # 75043, February 22, 2022 11:00 pm ET
by Noticer of Excremental Health Facility
The first Tootsie Roll
wasn't shaped like Toblerone
More like cat feces
Haiku # 75042, February 22, 2022 8:22 pm ET
by Worshipper of Cats
King Tut's last BM
wrapped up in toilet paper
A yummy mummie
Haiku # 75041, February 22, 2022 8:19 pm ET
by King Tuutsie of Mens Room (Pyramid)
made it to the end
and asked Jesus what he liked
"old, tired tart carts"
Haiku # 75040, February 22, 2022 7:30 pm ET
by the other apostle of he never did much
Delegitimize!
Reify ontologies!
Decentralize truth!
Haiku # 75039, February 22, 2022 5:56 pm ET
by Noticer of Hermeneutic Implosion
Hey y’all I’m back now
Hotel room 117
I’m so freaking bored
Haiku # 75038, February 22, 2022 4:36 pm ET
by I’m also FREAKING OUT of Cyan
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