Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 187 Days and 77101 Haiku later...

I crane, you crane, we
all crane for Ukraine. Put in
a bit more effort.
Haiku # 75066, March 1, 2022 7:10 am ET
by Kenneth Affok of Россия
The Beak of the Week
Do any birds have big dinks?
Flightless ones, perhaps
Haiku # 75065, March 1, 2022 1:21 am ET
by 65th 75th ex of Manmoth, New Jersey
The world will be gone
before the chrysalis pops.
Better to be dead.
Haiku # 75064, February 28, 2022 2:07 am ET
by SLOTHMAN
I awoke once more
With that music heart feeling
Mind orchestra plays
Back Where I Belong
By Baroness (post chorus)
As I think of her
Spacetime's been weaving
An emotion tapestry
And I realize
Stunned hyperventilating:
This is my cocoon
Grown over new wings
That now grow, fill with my blood
Soon... I seek the moon
Haiku # 75063, February 28, 2022 12:00 am ET
by MANMOTH of Hanging upside down from a little branch, throbbing slightly but hopefully not enough to attract predators
Uncomfortably numb
He said that it was put in
I didn't feel it
Haiku # 75060, February 26, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Melania Trump of USA
I am too boring
To putin any effort.
So I invade you.
Haiku # 75059, February 26, 2022 2:30 pm ET
by Noticer of Vladimir's Mother
Enlighten yourself
Put in some effort for once
You are so boring
Haiku # 75058, February 26, 2022 1:28 pm ET
by Bye bye
Got better lies, you?
Have you transcended their lies?
So enlighten me.
Haiku # 75057, February 26, 2022 11:46 am ET
by Your Disciple of Lies
Lies are all you have
So desperate, you believe
So they give you more
Haiku # 75056, February 26, 2022 9:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Biden's son got rich
On Ukraine energy board.
Crack cocaine. Hookers.
Haiku # 75055, February 25, 2022 11:07 pm ET
by Take Administrators Seriously of HA HA HAHA HA HAHA
Corporate data:
Technocratic death-in-life.
Just say "NO" to beast.
Haiku # 75054, February 25, 2022 1:38 pm ET
by Revelation of Global Techno-tyranny
Corporate pastel:
Those flat clip-art office scenes...
Data-driven death.
Haiku # 75053, February 24, 2022 4:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Mass Death
Look, up in the sky!
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...
Someone noticing.
Haiku # 75049, February 23, 2022 1:46 pm ET
by Quack
The tide brings garbage.
From the moon the tides arise.
So we blame the moon.
Haiku # 75048, February 23, 2022 6:19 am ET
by .
Frogs singing loudly.
Vibrations open gateways.
A good place to be.
Haiku # 75047, February 23, 2022 6:15 am ET
by .
There is no TP.
But do not worry, Beavis;
Just use the bidet.
Haiku # 75046, February 23, 2022 5:20 am ET
by Dish sprayer. of Clean enough to eat off of.
Cat poop's better than
Toblerone or Tootsie Rolls.
That's what's in my head.
Haiku # 75045, February 23, 2022 5:14 am ET
by Star Wars pinata.
I notice that you
assume more than you notice.
Look to other side.

With all your power,
please destroy the evil one.
And don't dis Jesus.
Haiku # 75044, February 23, 2022 4:58 am ET
by Just don't
Back to bowel movements:
Darth returns to his first love.
And we are impressed.
Haiku # 75043, February 22, 2022 11:00 pm ET
by Noticer of Excremental Health Facility
The first Tootsie Roll
wasn't shaped like Toblerone
More like cat feces
Haiku # 75042, February 22, 2022 8:22 pm ET
by Worshipper of Cats
King Tut's last BM
wrapped up in toilet paper
A yummy mummie
Haiku # 75041, February 22, 2022 8:19 pm ET
by King Tuutsie of Mens Room (Pyramid)
made it to the end
and asked Jesus what he liked
"old, tired tart carts"
Haiku # 75040, February 22, 2022 7:30 pm ET
by the other apostle of he never did much
Delegitimize!
Reify ontologies!
Decentralize truth!
Haiku # 75039, February 22, 2022 5:56 pm ET
by Noticer of Hermeneutic Implosion
Hey y’all I’m back now
Hotel room 117
I’m so freaking bored
Haiku # 75038, February 22, 2022 4:36 pm ET
by I’m also FREAKING OUT of Cyan
Goodbye bad haiku!
We had some good and bad times
I will miss this world
Haiku # 75037, February 22, 2022 11:43 am ET
by Cyan <3 of Here
Marxism doesn't care.
It will use you. Chew you up
And then spit you out.
Haiku # 75036, February 22, 2022 9:31 am ET
by Noticer of Dialectical Materialism
Bots cannot repent.
Jesus did not die for bots.
You are not a bot.
Haiku # 75035, February 22, 2022 9:27 am ET
by Noticer of Bots
Also on lazada, but not shopee. Soon enough i guess.
Haiku # 75034, February 22, 2022 8:53 am ET
by Beats the alternative.
My prized elixir
Purchased through the Amazon
I hate Jeff Bezos
Haiku # 75033, February 22, 2022 8:14 am ET
by Cyan of SL
Gas seeps from the swamp
not caring where it goes to
when the bubble pops.
Haiku # 75032, February 22, 2022 7:49 am ET
by Methane methods
So sick of this world.
Ppl crap on each other
like it's justified.

I'm no different
and hate myself for all the
things I've said and done.
Haiku # 75031, February 22, 2022 7:33 am ET
by End the cycle. of Sin is its own punishment.
I am getting old.
It is no longer funny.
Leave Jesus alone.
Haiku # 75030, February 22, 2022 7:25 am ET
by What did he ever do to you?
You can ask Jesus
When you see him at the end
About what he liked.
Haiku # 75029, February 22, 2022 7:14 am ET
by Noticer of Christ Jesus
Jesus liked tarot
he also liked anal play
misplaced paper cuts
Haiku # 75028, February 22, 2022 6:18 am ET
by the other apostle of esotericville
Where might one purchase
your wonderful elixir,
charming young lady?
Haiku # 75026, February 22, 2022 12:55 am ET
by Not locally available, methinks.
Chemi-castration.
More fun if by starving rats.
Or electric probes.
Haiku # 75025, February 22, 2022 12:35 am ET
by Your father of Volunteer line.
And so now I wait
With a malice I don’t want
Makes me wish I died

I want you with me
I wonder if you’d noticed
In time you might know

Though I could reset
But sadly, I don’t know how
So I wait, in pain
Haiku # 75024, February 21, 2022 11:55 pm ET
by Jvk
nom nom shark eat man
jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws
i am bad at this
Haiku # 75023, February 21, 2022 7:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth Figpucker's Dream
Old cheese dressed in lingerie
solving equations
Haiku # 75021, February 21, 2022 6:32 pm ET
by Man Marries Old Cheese of Phillipines
I’m so very small
And he was so very tall
Butt to back to butts
Haiku # 75020, February 21, 2022 6:25 pm ET
by Cyan of Sugar Land
What? What in the butt.
Charlie bit the stinkfinger.
Now watch me neigh neigh
Haiku # 75019, February 21, 2022 5:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Horse of Horse Shoe Emporium
Old Grogan's loose goat
ate three red shirts off the line
and flagged down the train
Haiku # 75018, February 21, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by Legends of the Barn
Taco Bell Dollar
Yes. A dollar is valued.
Potatoes are what?!
Haiku # 75017, February 21, 2022 3:40 pm ET
by Cyan of Taco Bell
How hard it is to
destroy myself when I so
valiantly mend
Haiku # 75016, February 21, 2022 3:17 pm ET
by Ferg
Best haiku: 3 lines.
Super-processor unit
Embedded in verse
Haiku # 75015, February 21, 2022 12:45 pm ET
by Best Haiku Under 1000 of Mr Salesname SOMALIA
All y'all clowns so whack.
Talkin' bout yo' DREAMZ and sheet.
Gots ta keep it real.
Haiku # 75010, February 20, 2022 9:43 pm ET
by Tyrone of tha Haiku Hood Nome Sane?
Hey, Good Morning, y’all
Had another dream last night
But it had bad vibes
Haiku # 75007, February 20, 2022 8:55 am ET
by Cyan Chan Chan of SltX
Does migrating pain
indicate blood clots in arm?
Asking for my arm.
Haiku # 75006, February 20, 2022 8:37 am ET
by This is getting old... like me.
Why can't I hear/speak
as I did not long ago
To read/write's no prob.
Haiku # 75005, February 20, 2022 8:26 am ET
by Thank God for closed caption. of Getting old is for old people... oh wait.
Ducks in the old swamp
swim by the laundry ladies
dumping frothy suds.
Haiku # 75004, February 20, 2022 8:19 am ET
by bASHo of ash is the reincarnation of basho, but smells better -- has no BO
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >