Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 364 Days and 77358 Haiku later...

My prized elixir
Purchased through the Amazon
I hate Jeff Bezos
Haiku # 75033, February 22, 2022 8:14 am ET
by Cyan of SL
Gas seeps from the swamp
not caring where it goes to
when the bubble pops.
Haiku # 75032, February 22, 2022 7:49 am ET
by Methane methods
So sick of this world.
Ppl crap on each other
like it's justified.

I'm no different
and hate myself for all the
things I've said and done.
Haiku # 75031, February 22, 2022 7:33 am ET
by End the cycle. of Sin is its own punishment.
I am getting old.
It is no longer funny.
Leave Jesus alone.
Haiku # 75030, February 22, 2022 7:25 am ET
by What did he ever do to you?
You can ask Jesus
When you see him at the end
About what he liked.
Haiku # 75029, February 22, 2022 7:14 am ET
by Noticer of Christ Jesus
Jesus liked tarot
he also liked anal play
misplaced paper cuts
Haiku # 75028, February 22, 2022 6:18 am ET
by the other apostle of esotericville
Where might one purchase
your wonderful elixir,
charming young lady?
Haiku # 75026, February 22, 2022 12:55 am ET
by Not locally available, methinks.
Chemi-castration.
More fun if by starving rats.
Or electric probes.
Haiku # 75025, February 22, 2022 12:35 am ET
by Your father of Volunteer line.
And so now I wait
With a malice I don’t want
Makes me wish I died

I want you with me
I wonder if you’d noticed
In time you might know

Though I could reset
But sadly, I don’t know how
So I wait, in pain
Haiku # 75024, February 21, 2022 11:55 pm ET
by Jvk
nom nom shark eat man
jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws jaws
i am bad at this
Haiku # 75023, February 21, 2022 7:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth Figpucker's Dream
Old cheese dressed in lingerie
solving equations
Haiku # 75021, February 21, 2022 6:32 pm ET
by Man Marries Old Cheese of Phillipines
I’m so very small
And he was so very tall
Butt to back to butts
Haiku # 75020, February 21, 2022 6:25 pm ET
by Cyan of Sugar Land
What? What in the butt.
Charlie bit the stinkfinger.
Now watch me neigh neigh
Haiku # 75019, February 21, 2022 5:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Horse of Horse Shoe Emporium
Old Grogan's loose goat
ate three red shirts off the line
and flagged down the train
Haiku # 75018, February 21, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by Legends of the Barn
Taco Bell Dollar
Yes. A dollar is valued.
Potatoes are what?!
Haiku # 75017, February 21, 2022 3:40 pm ET
by Cyan of Taco Bell
How hard it is to
destroy myself when I so
valiantly mend
Haiku # 75016, February 21, 2022 3:17 pm ET
by Ferg
Best haiku: 3 lines.
Super-processor unit
Embedded in verse
Haiku # 75015, February 21, 2022 12:45 pm ET
by Best Haiku Under 1000 of Mr Salesname SOMALIA
All y'all clowns so whack.
Talkin' bout yo' DREAMZ and sheet.
Gots ta keep it real.
Haiku # 75010, February 20, 2022 9:43 pm ET
by Tyrone of tha Haiku Hood Nome Sane?
Hey, Good Morning, y’all
Had another dream last night
But it had bad vibes
Haiku # 75007, February 20, 2022 8:55 am ET
by Cyan Chan Chan of SltX
Does migrating pain
indicate blood clots in arm?
Asking for my arm.
Haiku # 75006, February 20, 2022 8:37 am ET
by This is getting old... like me.
Why can't I hear/speak
as I did not long ago
To read/write's no prob.
Haiku # 75005, February 20, 2022 8:26 am ET
by Thank God for closed caption. of Getting old is for old people... oh wait.
Ducks in the old swamp
swim by the laundry ladies
dumping frothy suds.
Haiku # 75004, February 20, 2022 8:19 am ET
by bASHo of ash is the reincarnation of basho, but smells better -- has no BO
it gets frustrating
trying to make up haiku
sans inspiration
Haiku # 75003, February 20, 2022 6:25 am ET
by ash
Enough for one day.
All these voices need some rest.
My brain is leaking.
Haiku # 75002, February 19, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by My cerebral conjoined twin farted on my medula oblongata (sp?)
It's quite a sad thing.
I've only seen Limburger
like twice in my life.
Haiku # 75001, February 19, 2022 11:21 pm ET
by Only bought it once. of Like overripe brie. Not bad, but not my thing.
Are you a Brony?
I picture a Brony troll.
MLP Fleshlight.
Haiku # 75000, February 19, 2022 11:17 pm ET
by 4 D batteries.
I'd like to see hair
With Limburger cheese on it:
Hairy cheesy mess.
Haiku # 74999, February 19, 2022 11:16 pm ET
by Noticer of Hirsute Limburger
I'd like to see Hair
as an all nude opera
sung in Italian.
Haiku # 74998, February 19, 2022 11:08 pm ET
by Home for the buzzin bees.
I am NOT Cyan!
Pistachio pudding cupcakes!
And neither are we!
Haiku # 74997, February 19, 2022 11:04 pm ET
by I gots me lots o' ppls in here of but a color ain't one
Me and my lit pipe:
We're letting the world stay fucked...
I'm not smoking crack.
Haiku # 74996, February 19, 2022 11:01 pm ET
by Noticer of Smoke-rings
If I hear one more
thing about NFT's, I'll
soon be in the news.
Haiku # 74995, February 19, 2022 10:59 pm ET
by they aren't pets but they are peeves.
It's schizo-babble
Most of what is written here
By you, Darth, Cyan
Haiku # 74994, February 19, 2022 10:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Names
J.C. Superstar:
Watched a Spanish production.
Fue fantastico.
Haiku # 74993, February 19, 2022 10:55 pm ET
by Noticer of Superestrellas
Nah, join the army.
You'll get paid to blow stuff up.
What more could you want?
Haiku # 74992, February 19, 2022 10:50 pm ET
by Be 92.7% of what you can be. of Or something.
I got 14 though
It’s a sign to slip away
Or just run away
Haiku # 74991, February 19, 2022 10:22 pm ET
by Cyan-Chan of Sl
Below is a link.
Fifteen sociopath traits.
Do you meet all these?

Who doesn't have some?
Don't beat yourself up too bad.
No one is normal.


https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-sociopath
Haiku # 74990, February 19, 2022 7:33 pm ET
by Momma always said life is like a box of haiku.
But myself is bad
I am a sociopath
I’m all lies, lies, lies
Haiku # 74988, February 19, 2022 6:05 pm ET
by Cyan of Sugar Land
Why not be yourself.
That would be a pleasant change.
A sincere poet.

I mean, you know, other than vhs and ash.
Haiku # 74987, February 19, 2022 5:39 pm ET
by Who woulda thunk possible.
I won’t burden you
I’m not serious, okay.
I wish I was me
Haiku # 74986, February 19, 2022 4:43 pm ET
by Cyan aka me of Here
Carbon Monoxide?
I still live with my parents
So it would be hard
Haiku # 74984, February 19, 2022 3:02 pm ET
by Cyan- of Werking girl
Carbon monoxide
would be a lot less painful,
but still don't do it.

Why would you bother?
Your crimes/guilt are miniscule.
I mean, you're not me!

And even I am not the evil one.
Haiku # 74983, February 19, 2022 2:52 pm ET
by Well... not yet.
Sodium nitrite
Effective after starving
To attack blood cells
Haiku # 74982, February 19, 2022 2:32 pm ET
by CyAn of Here @ work
Talking suicide??
But why forty eight hours?
Something happens then?
Haiku # 74981, February 19, 2022 2:26 pm ET
by Don't do it.
I spoke about this
The magical potion is….
Sodium Nitrite
Haiku # 74980, February 19, 2022 1:24 pm ET
by Cyan—hehehe of SlTc
In the ancient past
you'll find what you're looking for.
Do NOT release it.
Haiku # 74979, February 19, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by There will be war.
What is your potion?
Mai Tai or Margarita?
Not keto milkshake!
Haiku # 74978, February 19, 2022 11:49 am ET
by I pray.
Mudballs thrown at cars
by horrid little children
splat on windshields.
Haiku # 74977, February 19, 2022 10:10 am ET
by Praunks
No eating right now
Waiting forty-eight hours
Then I take “potion”
Haiku # 74976, February 19, 2022 10:09 am ET
by Cyan Cheyenne Whateva of Here there and Everywhere
Hemming hemorrhoids.
Now that's talented crochet!
Horror movie scarf.
Haiku # 74975, February 19, 2022 3:16 am ET
by Warm worm.
The rear view mirror
Get to know your own hemorrhoids
and ass foliage
Haiku # 74973, February 19, 2022 2:38 am ET
by Moonlight of Vermont
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