Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

You will get him back.
With help from God's assassin.
Dead men are faithful.
Haiku # 74873, February 14, 2022 5:25 am ET
by Necromongers!!!! of HU-AH!!!!
Okay I will play,
Why do you miss your boyfriend?
Let us not pretend
Haiku # 74872, February 14, 2022 3:14 am ET
by Easy to offend
I know your mother
She says you should go to sleep
The muffin is moist
Haiku # 74871, February 14, 2022 3:09 am ET
by Trans in dental
Yeah, who dat ate shat
I will ball your foot soonly
Aged babboonly
Haiku # 74870, February 14, 2022 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Baby cosmetics
Because ugly kids are food
Lock up your mother
Haiku # 74869, February 14, 2022 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I think that, sadly
I might be in love with you
I’ll evaporate
Haiku # 74868, February 13, 2022 11:33 pm ET
by You make me sick of life
Disney Princesses
Happily Ever After
And other lies told
Haiku # 74867, February 13, 2022 9:56 pm ET
by Cyan of I’m still here
Urghh ulppp now I puke,
Filling your mind with my verse.
Can you smell it yet?
Haiku # 74866, February 13, 2022 6:18 pm ET
by That Old Fragrance of Haiku
A broken record
Again and again I say,
“I miss my boyfriend”
Haiku # 74865, February 13, 2022 11:08 am ET
by Cyan is lonely and full of Longing
Psychic paper guy!
Ooh Doctor, you *soniced* her
Sexy River Song
Haiku # 74864, February 12, 2022 9:10 pm ET
by Cyan is a total nerd and will always have a love of Doctor Who
Your "science" is shit.
So go ahead. Censor me.
You must repent now.
Haiku # 74863, February 12, 2022 9:01 pm ET
by The Holy Spirit
Yup, I trust science
Much more reliable than
Some anti vax dumbshit
Haiku # 74862, February 12, 2022 8:58 pm ET
by Satan herself
You need more than three.
Three doses is not enough.
You need MORE boosters.
Haiku # 74861, February 12, 2022 8:52 pm ET
by Cause Satan Sez So
I'm calling on God
While working at the psych ward
with an assassin.
Haiku # 74860, February 12, 2022 5:41 pm ET
by Can't Say More But He Is Friendly
I am so tired
I feel cheated and worn down
What are y’all doing?
Haiku # 74859, February 12, 2022 3:38 pm ET
by Cyan is tired of Life
Medical tyrants.
They're being paid to kill you.
Don't trust the "science".
Haiku # 74858, February 12, 2022 2:51 pm ET
by Skepticism is now Illegal
Let it now be known:
I have become a Muslim.
I, Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 74857, February 12, 2022 1:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Glaswegian Library
If Cyan is Darth,
we need to know about it.
Form a committee.
Haiku # 74856, February 12, 2022 1:29 pm ET
by Scientific Method of Darth Fig-something
Boston M of S?
As a kid I loved that place.
But science has died.
Haiku # 74855, February 12, 2022 1:24 pm ET
by Bwawston Rawx of Go Sawx
I’m hardly working
There are so many darn kids
Science Museum
Haiku # 74854, February 12, 2022 11:50 am ET
by Cyan who is wasting company time and not thinking of the consequences
Torturing myself
Looking at old photographs
I should just move on
Haiku # 74853, February 12, 2022 11:27 am ET
by Cyan is again making a fool of Herself
Is your aunt the Pope?
That would work for everyone.
Talk to a bishop.
Haiku # 74852, February 12, 2022 10:58 am ET
by Hail Mary Mother of God
My aunt just called me
My cousin needs a sponsor
For the Catholic Church
Haiku # 74851, February 12, 2022 10:40 am ET
by Cyan is tired of Confirmation Politics
Woe, woe unto thee!
Thou hast written bad haiku.
Thou shalt have great shame.
Haiku # 74850, February 12, 2022 8:14 am ET
by The Haiku Apostle of Lyrical Vengeance
I paid Jesus Christ
lip service - then he touched me
and healed the cold sores
Haiku # 74849, February 12, 2022 7:22 am ET
by the other apostle of sandy spot
Jesus Christ caught me
pleasuring myself to the
Song of Songs again
Haiku # 74848, February 12, 2022 7:19 am ET
by the other apostle of Inappropriate touching
wedding at Cana
"mom, I think they've had enough"
Mary drinks too much
Haiku # 74847, February 12, 2022 7:17 am ET
by the other apostle of sober living manger
trip to Jamaica:
Jesus got beads in his hair
embarrassed apostles
Haiku # 74846, February 12, 2022 6:44 am ET
by The other apostle of Irie Gnosticism
no one has to know
about all the casting calls
you pick ‘em Jesus
Haiku # 74845, February 12, 2022 6:41 am ET
by the other apostle of Epstein’s bouncy house
Jesus was a dude
and he ran a few errands
then they wrote the book
Haiku # 74844, February 12, 2022 6:37 am ET
by The other apostle of desert place probably
Shitty haikus: Go
Thinking about valentines
Again: suicide
Haiku # 74843, February 12, 2022 2:56 am ET
by Cyan Chan of Again it’s me
Like blue-haired vape fags,
your smoke-screen overpowers.
Better make it fast.

Pinching those fig turds,
chocolate coated morsells
of fruity goodness.

When I'm dead and gone
you can inject my ashes;
be with you always.
Haiku # 74842, February 11, 2022 10:43 pm ET
by Happy VD day!
Darth, you have lost it.
Now you call yourself "Cyan"?
You are truly whacked!
Haiku # 74841, February 11, 2022 9:38 pm ET
by Philippine Split of Personalities
What's to lie about?
We would like to see your leg.
Look into my heads.
Haiku # 74840, February 11, 2022 9:26 pm ET
by Sexy oaken thighs of scurvy ostriches.
I try not to lie
But I’ve been known to be bad
Horrible person
Haiku # 74839, February 11, 2022 6:48 pm ET
by Cyan again of Not going through this again unless it’s the end
Arrrrr, I'm a pirate
I've got me a wooden leg
Care to admire it?
Haiku # 74838, February 11, 2022 6:21 pm ET
by Bird of Pray
I think you don’t want
To torture on purpose but
Please don’t lie to me
Haiku # 74837, February 11, 2022 6:04 pm ET
by jvk of (home)
Not unusual.
Most inhabitants of zoos
are medicated.
Haiku # 74836, February 11, 2022 5:33 pm ET
by So That Big Pharma Makes Big Buck$$$$$$
Heresy loggers
They belong to the Catholics
1-1-1 Seconds
Haiku # 74835, February 11, 2022 3:33 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
That was nice of you.
Why are they medicated?
That's unusual.
Haiku # 74834, February 11, 2022 1:44 pm ET
by Sneaking into cages. of Looking for Valium.
His zoo membership
I bought for him and his mom
I hope he enjoys
Haiku # 74833, February 11, 2022 11:30 am ET
by Cyan again of Love sickness and Sugar Land
All part of God's plan.
Thor rad zine, salty peter.
Curbed naughty thoughties.

Haiku for the sin.
Invigorating father.
He's a sextsmella.
Haiku # 74832, February 11, 2022 9:35 am ET
by propane is cheaper, ash of if you hadn't noticed
I'm here at the zoo.
Everyone is very nice.
They're medicated!
Haiku # 74831, February 11, 2022 9:14 am ET
by Zoological Psych Ward of Heaven
Had a reaction
Crazy kookoo bananas
Harmful ex girlfriend
Haiku # 74830, February 11, 2022 8:37 am ET
by Cyan Cyan of Sugar Land
#74797

I'd like to thank you.
I haven't been wowed like that
since I don't know when.
Haiku # 74829, February 11, 2022 7:46 am ET
by Summarizes nicely.
#74797

I'd like to thank you.
I haven't been wowed like that
since I don't know when.
Haiku # 74828, February 11, 2022 7:46 am ET
by Summarizes nicely.
Pining for the days
Starkitten droned on about
good cunnilingus.
Haiku # 74827, February 11, 2022 3:20 am ET
by Owwww.
New Star Trek, new Who,
Those mutant freaks are not real.
Go with what is true.
Haiku # 74826, February 10, 2022 8:53 pm ET
by Original or NADA
Though I am a fan
Classic who is hard to watch
Now it’s just NuWho
Haiku # 74825, February 10, 2022 4:14 pm ET
by Cyan of Sugar Land
I remember one:
Tower-tomb of Rasselam.
That one was creepy.
Haiku # 74824, February 10, 2022 12:41 pm ET
by And I STILL Love Leela!
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