Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 66 Days and 74636 Haiku later...

Gourmet cheese robot
If you catch just the right wind
he smells like old feet
Haiku # 74598, January 9, 2022 10:00 pm ET
by Stankazoid of formerly the rez
Dumbass internet:
technocrats control your soul,
Your useless lost soul.
Haiku # 74596, January 9, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by Soteriology of the Intertoobs
Dumbass haiku verse,
take a long walk off short pier.
Move out of my way.
Haiku # 74595, January 9, 2022 12:07 pm ET
by The Way of Haiku
Dumbass haiku site.
Take a tip from me, Basho.
You don't move my soul.
Haiku # 74594, January 9, 2022 12:04 pm ET
by Silly Woodcuts of Japonaiseries
Dumbass Chinese bot:
Take some ESOL classes, dolt.
You don't move product...
Haiku # 74593, January 8, 2022 10:59 pm ET
by Gamerflori of Nicaragua
Bye Cirsten Weldon
Haiku # 74591, January 8, 2022 10:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Was Rip Van Winkle
Abducted by Aliens
No, no he was not
Haiku # 74589, January 7, 2022 5:01 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Your boring spam ads
Make me want to return to
The Stone Age. Fuck off.
Haiku # 74588, January 7, 2022 4:59 pm ET
by Useless Talking To A Bot
Snow upon the peak.
Sleeping village; Fuji looms...
Time for your BOOSTER!
Haiku # 74585, January 7, 2022 2:26 am ET
by Tedros Fauci of World Haiku Organization
Prettyboy Justin:
Failed actor, northern ass-clown...
Hope God takes him out.
Haiku # 74584, January 7, 2022 1:46 am ET
by Pierre Margaret Dutreau of Vancouver, Newfoundland
Look: every six months
A newly-named variant.
Ongoing boosters!
Haiku # 74583, January 7, 2022 1:40 am ET
by Because You Have to Do What They Say of WHO is the Enemy
Curb your appetite!
All Natural Fart Candle
Burn away hunger!
Haiku # 74582, January 6, 2022 11:48 pm ET
by U. R. Stench of Stankee Candle Company
Kristin Hig, you pig...
Your foul fat ass is so big,
It puckers my fig.
Haiku # 74581, January 6, 2022 7:36 pm ET
by Haiku in the Style of Zen-master Darthu-san
I am so so scared.
I sneezed four times this morning.
I MUST get tested.
Haiku # 74579, January 6, 2022 5:51 pm ET
by No Colds or Flu Anymore of IT'S ALL COVID!
I have to mask up
In order to double-mask
So I can feel safe.
Haiku # 74578, January 6, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Neurotic Cuck Sitting In His Car Alone of Omicropolis
Hand sanitizer
Goes into my mouth all-day
I think I will die
Haiku # 74576, January 6, 2022 2:13 pm ET
by cursedmints of dead
no matter the time
gay pirates won't hesitate
to snatch that booty
Haiku # 74575, January 6, 2022 9:56 am ET
by you know who I am of Pirates on Boats on The Ocean was never real man
The alive are dead
They sit in their pyjamas
and write poetry
Haiku # 74574, January 5, 2022 11:38 pm ET
by High Hillbilly of Holler
The dead are alive.
They wear business suits and ties.
They earn fake money!
Haiku # 74573, January 5, 2022 5:13 pm ET
by Ras Baqra Bacon Sandwich of Shitstem, Babylon
Super sensory
when you hump all of the lumps
on a wobbly camel
Haiku # 74569, January 3, 2022 11:31 pm ET
by Bo Vine of Drama Dairy
how's that coof o' yers?
hot showers 'n chicken soup.
come to the hangin'.
Haiku # 74567, January 3, 2022 2:32 pm ET
by Coof rhymes with boof! ... oof of the goof.
No ma'am those aren't warts.
They're custom made pleasure bumps.
Surgery enhanced.
Haiku # 74566, January 3, 2022 12:28 pm ET
by When's the big day? of Where's the after-party?
Horny Toad frog dink
will give you genital warts.
Don't rub it. (ribbit)
Haiku # 74565, January 3, 2022 12:21 pm ET
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Where are the protons?
Rita Marley sings again!
Cannabliss OD.
Haiku # 74564, January 3, 2022 12:19 pm ET
by OD DOA of Call the taxidermist. Not the uberdermist... although uberdermists are cheaper.
Who woulda thunk it.
Parsnippitty Parsnip Poo.
Tree frog boner songs.
Haiku # 74563, January 3, 2022 8:28 am ET
by amphibian orgies
Cheese is hard to find.
I don't mean that processed shit.
Eden/Velveeta.

Eat enough of it,
and you will live forever.
Century shelf-life.
Haiku # 74562, January 3, 2022 2:08 am ET
by Who wants to live that long?! of Even fifty sucks!
I went and bought a
rat poison enema kit.
It got me sooooo high!

Rat-free and wasted.
So what if I'm puking blood.
Rats won't take my cheese!
Haiku # 74561, January 3, 2022 2:05 am ET
by Over my dead body!... of Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, they got the cheese.
The doctor whispered
You need to lay off the cheese
Your butt attracts rats
Haiku # 74560, January 2, 2022 8:33 pm ET
by Clinic of Philippines
The best medicine
A satisfying session
riding the toilet
Haiku # 74559, January 2, 2022 5:58 pm ET
by Yanni of Acrapolis
Just think if covid
can be spliced with HIV.
Oh, China did that?
Haiku # 74558, January 2, 2022 1:22 pm ET
by Wonderful.
Doctor, I need help.
See all this bad poetry.
It came out my butt.
Haiku # 74557, January 2, 2022 12:59 pm ET
by Take these pills and don't come back.
Do you ever think
about the consequences
of your bad poems?
Haiku # 74556, January 2, 2022 12:52 pm ET
by Nobody does.
Look, there's a proton.
And over there's a neutron.
You know what that means!
Haiku # 74555, January 2, 2022 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Meth is good for you.
Children's breakfast cereal.
You don't need those teeth.
Haiku # 74554, January 2, 2022 11:58 am ET
by Gummy Bear Biting
No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
Haiku # 74553, January 2, 2022 11:55 am ET
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
Haiku # 74551, January 1, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
Haiku # 74550, January 1, 2022 11:06 pm ET
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
Haiku # 74549, January 1, 2022 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
Haiku # 74548, January 1, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
Haiku # 74547, January 1, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74546, January 1, 2022 1:58 am ET
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
Haiku # 74545, December 31, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
Haiku # 74544, December 31, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
Haiku # 74543, December 31, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud

And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
Haiku # 74542, December 31, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
Haiku # 74541, December 31, 2021 7:30 am ET
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
Haiku # 74540, December 31, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
Haiku # 74539, December 31, 2021 1:01 am ET
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
Haiku # 74538, December 30, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
Haiku # 74537, December 30, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
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