Was Rip Van Winkle
Abducted by Aliens
No, no he was not
by Shirley Smothers
Your boring spam ads
Make me want to return to
The Stone Age. Fuck off.
by Useless Talking To A Bot
Snow upon the peak.
Sleeping village; Fuji looms...
Time for your BOOSTER!
by Tedros Fauci of World Haiku Organization
Prettyboy Justin:
Failed actor, northern ass-clown...
Hope God takes him out.
by Pierre Margaret Dutreau of Vancouver, Newfoundland
Look: every six months
A newly-named variant.
Ongoing boosters!
by Because You Have to Do What They Say of WHO is the Enemy
Curb your appetite!
All Natural Fart Candle
Burn away hunger!
by U. R. Stench of Stankee Candle Company
Kristin Hig, you pig...
Your foul fat ass is so big,
It puckers my fig.
by Haiku in the Style of Zen-master Darthu-san
I am so so scared.
I sneezed four times this morning.
I MUST get tested.
by No Colds or Flu Anymore of IT'S ALL COVID!
I have to mask up
In order to double-mask
So I can feel safe.
by Neurotic Cuck Sitting In His Car Alone of Omicropolis
Hand sanitizer
Goes into my mouth all-day
I think I will die
by cursedmints of dead
no matter the time
gay pirates won't hesitate
to snatch that booty
by you know who I am of Pirates on Boats on The Ocean was never real man
The alive are dead
They sit in their pyjamas
and write poetry
by High Hillbilly of Holler
The dead are alive.
They wear business suits and ties.
They earn fake money!
by Ras Baqra Bacon Sandwich of Shitstem, Babylon
Super sensory
when you hump all of the lumps
on a wobbly camel
by Bo Vine of Drama Dairy
how's that coof o' yers?
hot showers 'n chicken soup.
come to the hangin'.
by Coof rhymes with boof! ... oof of the goof.
No ma'am those aren't warts.
They're custom made pleasure bumps.
Surgery enhanced.
by When's the big day? of Where's the after-party?
Horny Toad frog dink
will give you genital warts.
Don't rub it. (ribbit)
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Where are the protons?
Rita Marley sings again!
Cannabliss OD.
by OD DOA of Call the taxidermist. Not the uberdermist... although uberdermists are cheaper.
Who woulda thunk it.
Parsnippitty Parsnip Poo.
Tree frog boner songs.
by amphibian orgies
Cheese is hard to find.
I don't mean that processed shit.
Eden/Velveeta.
Eat enough of it,
and you will live forever.
Century shelf-life.
by Who wants to live that long?! of Even fifty sucks!
I went and bought a
rat poison enema kit.
It got me sooooo high!
Rat-free and wasted.
So what if I'm puking blood.
Rats won't take my cheese!
by Over my dead body!... of Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, they got the cheese.
The doctor whispered
You need to lay off the cheese
Your butt attracts rats
by Clinic of Philippines
The best medicine
A satisfying session
riding the toilet
by Yanni of Acrapolis
Just think if covid
can be spliced with HIV.
Oh, China did that?
by Wonderful.
Doctor, I need help.
See all this bad poetry.
It came out my butt.
by Take these pills and don't come back.
Do you ever think
about the consequences
of your bad poems?
by Nobody does.
Look, there's a proton.
And over there's a neutron.
You know what that means!
by Anonymous Poet
Meth is good for you.
Children's breakfast cereal.
You don't need those teeth.
by Gummy Bear Biting
No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
by vhs
Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud
And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.
... On men!
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
