Cheese is hard to find.
I don't mean that processed shit.
Eden/Velveeta.
Eat enough of it,
and you will live forever.
Century shelf-life.
by Who wants to live that long?! of Even fifty sucks!
I went and bought a
rat poison enema kit.
It got me sooooo high!
Rat-free and wasted.
So what if I'm puking blood.
Rats won't take my cheese!
by Over my dead body!... of Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, they got the cheese.
The doctor whispered
You need to lay off the cheese
Your butt attracts rats
by Clinic of Philippines
The best medicine
A satisfying session
riding the toilet
by Yanni of Acrapolis
Just think if covid
can be spliced with HIV.
Oh, China did that?
by Wonderful.
Doctor, I need help.
See all this bad poetry.
It came out my butt.
by Take these pills and don't come back.
Do you ever think
about the consequences
of your bad poems?
by Nobody does.
Look, there's a proton.
And over there's a neutron.
You know what that means!
by Anonymous Poet
Meth is good for you.
Children's breakfast cereal.
You don't need those teeth.
by Gummy Bear Biting
No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
by vhs
Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud
And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.
... On men!
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
by You know it's true!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyymen!
by Convert
**Ding dong!**
Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?
Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross
That's testosterone.
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
im on, im on, oh
crap wrapping paper, glitter
gay bar or xmas?
by vhs
I think I got it:
Tom Bosely played the father
In Happy Days, right?
by But Why Are You Obsessed With His, You know, what you always Say
I'm the Haiku Dog.
I WILL eat it, and I DID.
Now, to puke it up . . .
by Old Man Basho's Oriental Retriever
2022
Bad Haiku Calendar
The year of the fig
by Figpincher of Ready
Oh wait. That was YOU?
That dead show where you flipped out,
and got arrested?
by Church of L.S.D of Smearing Patchouli Oil on my Armpits
Alzo aimu rate,
Ai woodu raiku to say:
"Meri Krizumas."
by ESOL Seniors Class of Kanagawa Prefecture
Like "A Box of Rain"
by the Grateful Dead. Perhaps
You can write the song.
by Smells Like a Jerry Garcia Solo of Winterland '78
Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
by df
