And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud
And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.
... On men!
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
by You know it's true!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyymen!
by Convert
**Ding dong!**
Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?
Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross
That's testosterone.
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
im on, im on, oh
crap wrapping paper, glitter
gay bar or xmas?
by vhs
I think I got it:
Tom Bosely played the father
In Happy Days, right?
by But Why Are You Obsessed With His, You know, what you always Say
I'm the Haiku Dog.
I WILL eat it, and I DID.
Now, to puke it up . . .
by Old Man Basho's Oriental Retriever
2022
Bad Haiku Calendar
The year of the fig
by Figpincher of Ready
Oh wait. That was YOU?
That dead show where you flipped out,
and got arrested?
by Church of L.S.D of Smearing Patchouli Oil on my Armpits
Alzo aimu rate,
Ai woodu raiku to say:
"Meri Krizumas."
by ESOL Seniors Class of Kanagawa Prefecture
Like "A Box of Rain"
by the Grateful Dead. Perhaps
You can write the song.
by Smells Like a Jerry Garcia Solo of Winterland '78
Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
by df
Pinewood derby cars
cannot travel at warp speed,
despite what you've heard.
by Fishsticks!
Merry Christmas, Darth.
(And anyone else on here
Besides me, that is)
by VHS, Janis, Scotch and of Course All the Haiku Elves
What a perfect day.
Smoked cheddar, meth, and South Park.
Jesus is awesome!
by Merry Christmas!! of God bless us, everyone!
Oh come ON now, boys.
Can't you just ENJOY the DAY?
'Tis but once a year...
by Dear Cousin Eleanor Leaps Out of The Shower Lookin' Super HOT
Warm beer for breakfast;
Please, Aunt Gretchen, can I please?
Come on, it's Krissmiss...
by Tiny Tim, God Bless Ye Merry Gentlepeople of Singing in Snow Next to Crashed Sled 3 Dead Reindeer
Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
Great Sol Invictus:
Let us slay the white heifer
And roll in warm blood.
by Mother Theresa of Elagabalus, Ohio
It's Saturnalia!
Fall off your donkey and sing!
Hail the crowning day !
by Summer Solstice Once More of Pass The Flaming Torch, Edna
Frankincense and myrrh
have been replaced with Febreez
(Camel dung problems)
by Silent fart, holey underwear of Cutting Swiss Cheese
I would like to wish
a very merry Christmas
to Jesus himself.
by It's His birthday after all. of How would you like it if everyone wished each other happy birthday at your party but overlooked you? Not to mention presents.
I can safely say,
without any doubt at all,
that no, no we don't.
by Go get yourself a Happy Days ending. of I think Tom B's schlong has jumped the shark.
We just want to wish
A most merry Christmas to
Tom Bosley's penis
by Children's choir standing out in the snow
We should try taking
our haiku to customer
service at WalMart.
I got this haiku
for Christmas but it's too short.
Can I get cash back?
by If not, store credit is fine.
You know merry and
Scary christmas, we got old
Still got the receipt
by Vhs
Merry Christmas Darth, vhs, Janis and the awol Australian!
by Starkitten of PNW
Merry Christmas, y'all,
A very Happy New Year,
And Crazy Kwanza!
by And stuff.
