Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 316 Days and 76713 Haiku later...

when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
Haiku # 74536, December 30, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
Haiku # 74535, December 30, 2021 1:49 pm ET
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.

... On men!
Haiku # 74534, December 30, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
Haiku # 74533, December 29, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
Haiku # 74531, December 29, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
Haiku # 74530, December 29, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
Haiku # 74529, December 29, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
Haiku # 74528, December 29, 2021 9:53 am ET
by You know it's true!
Haiku # 74527, December 28, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Convert
**Ding dong!**

Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?

Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
Haiku # 74526, December 28, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
Haiku # 74525, December 28, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross

That's testosterone.
Haiku # 74524, December 28, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
Haiku # 74522, December 28, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
Haiku # 74521, December 28, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
Haiku # 74519, December 27, 2021 8:47 pm ET
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
Haiku # 74518, December 27, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
im on, im on, oh
crap wrapping paper, glitter
gay bar or xmas?
Haiku # 74516, December 27, 2021 10:13 am ET
by vhs
I think I got it:
Tom Bosely played the father
In Happy Days, right?
Haiku # 74515, December 26, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by But Why Are You Obsessed With His, You know, what you always Say
I'm the Haiku Dog.
I WILL eat it, and I DID.
Now, to puke it up . . .
Haiku # 74514, December 26, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Old Man Basho's Oriental Retriever
Bad Haiku Calendar
The year of the fig
Haiku # 74513, December 26, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Figpincher of Ready
Oh wait. That was YOU?
That dead show where you flipped out,
and got arrested?
Haiku # 74512, December 26, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by Church of L.S.D of Smearing Patchouli Oil on my Armpits
Alzo aimu rate,
Ai woodu raiku to say:
"Meri Krizumas."
Haiku # 74510, December 26, 2021 7:54 am ET
by ESOL Seniors Class of Kanagawa Prefecture
Like "A Box of Rain"
by the Grateful Dead. Perhaps
You can write the song.
Haiku # 74509, December 26, 2021 5:21 am ET
by Smells Like a Jerry Garcia Solo of Winterland '78
Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
Haiku # 74508, December 26, 2021 3:16 am ET
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
Haiku # 74507, December 25, 2021 8:44 am ET
by df
Pinewood derby cars
cannot travel at warp speed,
despite what you've heard.
Haiku # 74506, December 25, 2021 8:37 am ET
by Fishsticks!
Merry Christmas, Darth.
(And anyone else on here
Besides me, that is)
Haiku # 74505, December 25, 2021 8:34 am ET
by VHS, Janis, Scotch and of Course All the Haiku Elves
What a perfect day.
Smoked cheddar, meth, and South Park.
Jesus is awesome!
Haiku # 74504, December 25, 2021 7:51 am ET
by Merry Christmas!! of God bless us, everyone!
Oh come ON now, boys.
Can't you just ENJOY the DAY?
'Tis but once a year...
Haiku # 74503, December 25, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Dear Cousin Eleanor Leaps Out of The Shower Lookin' Super HOT
Warm beer for breakfast;
Please, Aunt Gretchen, can I please?
Come on, it's Krissmiss...
Haiku # 74502, December 25, 2021 3:03 am ET
by Tiny Tim, God Bless Ye Merry Gentlepeople of Singing in Snow Next to Crashed Sled 3 Dead Reindeer
Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
Haiku # 74501, December 25, 2021 2:57 am ET
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
Haiku # 74500, December 25, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
Haiku # 74499, December 25, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
Haiku # 74498, December 25, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
Great Sol Invictus:
Let us slay the white heifer
And roll in warm blood.
Haiku # 74497, December 25, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Mother Theresa of Elagabalus, Ohio
It's Saturnalia!
Fall off your donkey and sing!
Hail the crowning day !
Haiku # 74496, December 25, 2021 2:27 am ET
by Summer Solstice Once More of Pass The Flaming Torch, Edna
Frankincense and myrrh
have been replaced with Febreez
(Camel dung problems)
Haiku # 74495, December 25, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Silent fart, holey underwear of Cutting Swiss Cheese
I would like to wish
a very merry Christmas
to Jesus himself.
Haiku # 74494, December 24, 2021 11:19 pm ET
by It's His birthday after all. of How would you like it if everyone wished each other happy birthday at your party but overlooked you? Not to mention presents.
I can safely say,
without any doubt at all,
that no, no we don't.
Haiku # 74493, December 24, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by Go get yourself a Happy Days ending. of I think Tom B's schlong has jumped the shark.
We just want to wish
A most merry Christmas to
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74492, December 24, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Children's choir standing out in the snow
We should try taking
our haiku to customer
service at WalMart.

I got this haiku
for Christmas but it's too short.
Can I get cash back?
Haiku # 74491, December 24, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by If not, store credit is fine.
You know merry and
Scary christmas, we got old
Still got the receipt
Haiku # 74490, December 24, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Vhs
Merry Christmas Darth, vhs, Janis and the awol Australian!
Haiku # 74489, December 24, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Starkitten of PNW
Merry Christmas, y'all,
A very Happy New Year,
And Crazy Kwanza!
Haiku # 74487, December 24, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by And stuff.
That was Bo Burnham.
Check out his song Sunday School.
Yes, I ate the cheese.
Haiku # 74486, December 24, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by And tell your parents they need to take spelling lessons.
You misspelled my name
You jerked off on my Bible
You ate all my cheese!
Haiku # 74485, December 24, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by Mother Fuckin' Teresa of No H
I don't remember
ever insulting Mother
Theresa on here.

You sure that was me?
Anything is possible.
But doesn't sound right.
Haiku # 74484, December 24, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Hitler's last fart was when he evacuated his bowels when he shot himself. of That's why I always eat high fiber food.
I would rather watch
rabbit than rabbi videos
for three hours straight.
Haiku # 74481, December 24, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Oy vay! Herschel, did you forget the salmon lox again?! of My mother's coming over and I told her we'd have salmon lox! You putz! I don't care if the prices are high! Don't be such a Jew!
David Lee's a fake.
He's never seen Panama.
Nor runs with Satan.
Haiku # 74480, December 24, 2021 8:24 am ET
by What a phony!
Contemplate nature.
Wait, I need my cellphone first.
Take lots of selfies.

Leave the world of man.
Is it even possible?
Sick of all this shit.
Haiku # 74478, December 24, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Maybe I should read Ted Kazinsky's manefesto. of Probably more poetic than this.
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