Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 185 Days and 75596 Haiku later...

No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
Haiku # 74553, January 2, 2022 11:55 am ET
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
Haiku # 74551, January 1, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
Haiku # 74550, January 1, 2022 11:06 pm ET
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
Haiku # 74549, January 1, 2022 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
Haiku # 74548, January 1, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
Haiku # 74547, January 1, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74546, January 1, 2022 1:58 am ET
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
Haiku # 74545, December 31, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
Haiku # 74544, December 31, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
Haiku # 74543, December 31, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud

And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
Haiku # 74542, December 31, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
Haiku # 74541, December 31, 2021 7:30 am ET
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
Haiku # 74540, December 31, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
Haiku # 74539, December 31, 2021 1:01 am ET
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
Haiku # 74538, December 30, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
Haiku # 74537, December 30, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
Haiku # 74536, December 30, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
Haiku # 74535, December 30, 2021 1:49 pm ET
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.

... On men!
Haiku # 74534, December 30, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
Haiku # 74533, December 29, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
Haiku # 74531, December 29, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
Haiku # 74530, December 29, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
Haiku # 74529, December 29, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
Haiku # 74528, December 29, 2021 9:53 am ET
by You know it's true!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyymen!
Haiku # 74527, December 28, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Convert
**Ding dong!**

Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?

Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
Haiku # 74526, December 28, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
Haiku # 74525, December 28, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross

That's testosterone.
Haiku # 74524, December 28, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
Haiku # 74522, December 28, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
Haiku # 74521, December 28, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
Haiku # 74519, December 27, 2021 8:47 pm ET
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
Haiku # 74518, December 27, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
im on, im on, oh
crap wrapping paper, glitter
gay bar or xmas?
Haiku # 74516, December 27, 2021 10:13 am ET
by vhs
I think I got it:
Tom Bosely played the father
In Happy Days, right?
Haiku # 74515, December 26, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by But Why Are You Obsessed With His, You know, what you always Say
I'm the Haiku Dog.
I WILL eat it, and I DID.
Now, to puke it up . . .
Haiku # 74514, December 26, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Old Man Basho's Oriental Retriever
2022
Bad Haiku Calendar
The year of the fig
Haiku # 74513, December 26, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Figpincher of Ready
Oh wait. That was YOU?
That dead show where you flipped out,
and got arrested?
Haiku # 74512, December 26, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by Church of L.S.D of Smearing Patchouli Oil on my Armpits
Alzo aimu rate,
Ai woodu raiku to say:
"Meri Krizumas."
Haiku # 74510, December 26, 2021 7:54 am ET
by ESOL Seniors Class of Kanagawa Prefecture
Like "A Box of Rain"
by the Grateful Dead. Perhaps
You can write the song.
Haiku # 74509, December 26, 2021 5:21 am ET
by Smells Like a Jerry Garcia Solo of Winterland '78
Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
Haiku # 74508, December 26, 2021 3:16 am ET
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
Haiku # 74507, December 25, 2021 8:44 am ET
by df
Pinewood derby cars
cannot travel at warp speed,
despite what you've heard.
Haiku # 74506, December 25, 2021 8:37 am ET
by Fishsticks!
Merry Christmas, Darth.
(And anyone else on here
Besides me, that is)
Haiku # 74505, December 25, 2021 8:34 am ET
by VHS, Janis, Scotch and of Course All the Haiku Elves
What a perfect day.
Smoked cheddar, meth, and South Park.
Jesus is awesome!
Haiku # 74504, December 25, 2021 7:51 am ET
by Merry Christmas!! of God bless us, everyone!
Oh come ON now, boys.
Can't you just ENJOY the DAY?
'Tis but once a year...
Haiku # 74503, December 25, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Dear Cousin Eleanor Leaps Out of The Shower Lookin' Super HOT
Warm beer for breakfast;
Please, Aunt Gretchen, can I please?
Come on, it's Krissmiss...
Haiku # 74502, December 25, 2021 3:03 am ET
by Tiny Tim, God Bless Ye Merry Gentlepeople of Singing in Snow Next to Crashed Sled 3 Dead Reindeer
Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
Haiku # 74501, December 25, 2021 2:57 am ET
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
Haiku # 74500, December 25, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
Haiku # 74499, December 25, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
Haiku # 74498, December 25, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >