Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 324 Days and 76717 Haiku later...

Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
Haiku # 74548, January 1, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
Haiku # 74547, January 1, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74546, January 1, 2022 1:58 am ET
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
Haiku # 74545, December 31, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
Haiku # 74544, December 31, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
Haiku # 74543, December 31, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud

And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
Haiku # 74542, December 31, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
Haiku # 74541, December 31, 2021 7:30 am ET
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
Haiku # 74540, December 31, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
Haiku # 74539, December 31, 2021 1:01 am ET
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
Haiku # 74538, December 30, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
Haiku # 74537, December 30, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
Haiku # 74536, December 30, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
Haiku # 74535, December 30, 2021 1:49 pm ET
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.

... On men!
Haiku # 74534, December 30, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
Haiku # 74533, December 29, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
Haiku # 74531, December 29, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
Haiku # 74530, December 29, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
Haiku # 74529, December 29, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
Haiku # 74528, December 29, 2021 9:53 am ET
by You know it's true!
Haiku # 74527, December 28, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Convert
**Ding dong!**

Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?

Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
Haiku # 74526, December 28, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
Haiku # 74525, December 28, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross

That's testosterone.
Haiku # 74524, December 28, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
Haiku # 74522, December 28, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
Haiku # 74521, December 28, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
Haiku # 74519, December 27, 2021 8:47 pm ET
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
Haiku # 74518, December 27, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
im on, im on, oh
crap wrapping paper, glitter
gay bar or xmas?
Haiku # 74516, December 27, 2021 10:13 am ET
by vhs
I think I got it:
Tom Bosely played the father
In Happy Days, right?
Haiku # 74515, December 26, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by But Why Are You Obsessed With His, You know, what you always Say
I'm the Haiku Dog.
I WILL eat it, and I DID.
Now, to puke it up . . .
Haiku # 74514, December 26, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Old Man Basho's Oriental Retriever
Bad Haiku Calendar
The year of the fig
Haiku # 74513, December 26, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Figpincher of Ready
Oh wait. That was YOU?
That dead show where you flipped out,
and got arrested?
Haiku # 74512, December 26, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by Church of L.S.D of Smearing Patchouli Oil on my Armpits
Alzo aimu rate,
Ai woodu raiku to say:
"Meri Krizumas."
Haiku # 74510, December 26, 2021 7:54 am ET
by ESOL Seniors Class of Kanagawa Prefecture
Like "A Box of Rain"
by the Grateful Dead. Perhaps
You can write the song.
Haiku # 74509, December 26, 2021 5:21 am ET
by Smells Like a Jerry Garcia Solo of Winterland '78
Now it's Boxing Day
Like that Number 7 movie
but a box of farts
Haiku # 74508, December 26, 2021 3:16 am ET
by Brad Pffffft of Hollywood, CA
Merry Christmas right
back attcha, and a happy
new years to y' all.
Haiku # 74507, December 25, 2021 8:44 am ET
by df
Pinewood derby cars
cannot travel at warp speed,
despite what you've heard.
Haiku # 74506, December 25, 2021 8:37 am ET
by Fishsticks!
Merry Christmas, Darth.
(And anyone else on here
Besides me, that is)
Haiku # 74505, December 25, 2021 8:34 am ET
by VHS, Janis, Scotch and of Course All the Haiku Elves
What a perfect day.
Smoked cheddar, meth, and South Park.
Jesus is awesome!
Haiku # 74504, December 25, 2021 7:51 am ET
by Merry Christmas!! of God bless us, everyone!
Oh come ON now, boys.
Can't you just ENJOY the DAY?
'Tis but once a year...
Haiku # 74503, December 25, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Dear Cousin Eleanor Leaps Out of The Shower Lookin' Super HOT
Warm beer for breakfast;
Please, Aunt Gretchen, can I please?
Come on, it's Krissmiss...
Haiku # 74502, December 25, 2021 3:03 am ET
by Tiny Tim, God Bless Ye Merry Gentlepeople of Singing in Snow Next to Crashed Sled 3 Dead Reindeer
Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
Haiku # 74501, December 25, 2021 2:57 am ET
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
Haiku # 74500, December 25, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
Haiku # 74499, December 25, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
Haiku # 74498, December 25, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
Great Sol Invictus:
Let us slay the white heifer
And roll in warm blood.
Haiku # 74497, December 25, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Mother Theresa of Elagabalus, Ohio
It's Saturnalia!
Fall off your donkey and sing!
Hail the crowning day !
Haiku # 74496, December 25, 2021 2:27 am ET
by Summer Solstice Once More of Pass The Flaming Torch, Edna
Frankincense and myrrh
have been replaced with Febreez
(Camel dung problems)
Haiku # 74495, December 25, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Silent fart, holey underwear of Cutting Swiss Cheese
I would like to wish
a very merry Christmas
to Jesus himself.
Haiku # 74494, December 24, 2021 11:19 pm ET
by It's His birthday after all. of How would you like it if everyone wished each other happy birthday at your party but overlooked you? Not to mention presents.
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