Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 185 Days and 75595 Haiku later...

no matter the time
gay pirates won't hesitate
to snatch that booty
Haiku # 74575, January 6, 2022 9:56 am ET
by you know who I am of Pirates on Boats on The Ocean was never real man
The alive are dead
They sit in their pyjamas
and write poetry
Haiku # 74574, January 5, 2022 11:38 pm ET
by High Hillbilly of Holler
The dead are alive.
They wear business suits and ties.
They earn fake money!
Haiku # 74573, January 5, 2022 5:13 pm ET
by Ras Baqra Bacon Sandwich of Shitstem, Babylon
Super sensory
when you hump all of the lumps
on a wobbly camel
Haiku # 74569, January 3, 2022 11:31 pm ET
by Bo Vine of Drama Dairy
how's that coof o' yers?
hot showers 'n chicken soup.
come to the hangin'.
Haiku # 74567, January 3, 2022 2:32 pm ET
by Coof rhymes with boof! ... oof of the goof.
No ma'am those aren't warts.
They're custom made pleasure bumps.
Surgery enhanced.
Haiku # 74566, January 3, 2022 12:28 pm ET
by When's the big day? of Where's the after-party?
Horny Toad frog dink
will give you genital warts.
Don't rub it. (ribbit)
Haiku # 74565, January 3, 2022 12:21 pm ET
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Where are the protons?
Rita Marley sings again!
Cannabliss OD.
Haiku # 74564, January 3, 2022 12:19 pm ET
by OD DOA of Call the taxidermist. Not the uberdermist... although uberdermists are cheaper.
Who woulda thunk it.
Parsnippitty Parsnip Poo.
Tree frog boner songs.
Haiku # 74563, January 3, 2022 8:28 am ET
by amphibian orgies
Cheese is hard to find.
I don't mean that processed shit.
Eden/Velveeta.

Eat enough of it,
and you will live forever.
Century shelf-life.
Haiku # 74562, January 3, 2022 2:08 am ET
by Who wants to live that long?! of Even fifty sucks!
I went and bought a
rat poison enema kit.
It got me sooooo high!

Rat-free and wasted.
So what if I'm puking blood.
Rats won't take my cheese!
Haiku # 74561, January 3, 2022 2:05 am ET
by Over my dead body!... of Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, they got the cheese.
The doctor whispered
You need to lay off the cheese
Your butt attracts rats
Haiku # 74560, January 2, 2022 8:33 pm ET
by Clinic of Philippines
The best medicine
A satisfying session
riding the toilet
Haiku # 74559, January 2, 2022 5:58 pm ET
by Yanni of Acrapolis
Just think if covid
can be spliced with HIV.
Oh, China did that?
Haiku # 74558, January 2, 2022 1:22 pm ET
by Wonderful.
Doctor, I need help.
See all this bad poetry.
It came out my butt.
Haiku # 74557, January 2, 2022 12:59 pm ET
by Take these pills and don't come back.
Do you ever think
about the consequences
of your bad poems?
Haiku # 74556, January 2, 2022 12:52 pm ET
by Nobody does.
Look, there's a proton.
And over there's a neutron.
You know what that means!
Haiku # 74555, January 2, 2022 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Meth is good for you.
Children's breakfast cereal.
You don't need those teeth.
Haiku # 74554, January 2, 2022 11:58 am ET
by Gummy Bear Biting
No! Do not cancel!
Show up to the hanging tree.
It will be great fun.
Haiku # 74553, January 2, 2022 11:55 am ET
by Obviously!
Rita Marley says
No more neutrons or protons.
Just deal with it now.
Haiku # 74551, January 1, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by The Beauty of God's Plan
Hope it's not too bad...
Green tea and vitamin D.
Ought to help you out.
Haiku # 74550, January 1, 2022 11:06 pm ET
by God is Greater then Covid
caught the coof, not too
thrilled about it, tell me if
i need to cancel
Haiku # 74549, January 1, 2022 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
Julia Roberts
thought that song was about her.
She fucked Lyle Lovett.
Haiku # 74548, January 1, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Roy Orbison of Reaching out
You like bison dick??
An Eskimo donkey show.
That's global warming!
Haiku # 74547, January 1, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pass the blubber.
Roy Orbison's dick
from here on out replaces
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74546, January 1, 2022 1:58 am ET
by Happy New Year
Flushing the old year
but the old smell lingers on
Huff it while you can
Haiku # 74545, December 31, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by This poem smells of you
Try again next year
Hear me when I say this, you.
Try Again Next Year
Haiku # 74544, December 31, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by Tree sap burger of Right off the tree
Be Careful Blue Guy
I Wonder Why You Write Here
My Brain Exploding
Haiku # 74543, December 31, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Dentr0 of North
And anxiety
Run amok, all impatience
Be, let's all be loud

And paranoid, from
Sea to shining sea
Kvetchy new years day
Haiku # 74542, December 31, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Vhs
A new haiku year!
Let us all write worse haiku
Than the year before.
Haiku # 74541, December 31, 2021 7:30 am ET
by And May Every Syllable Be Worse
You don't know the dog.
Or what it ate for dinner.
I do and it's gross.
Haiku # 74540, December 31, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Way worse than haiku! of Euthanize that horrid pug!
Do you blame the dog
when farts escape your buttocks
at dinner parties?
Haiku # 74539, December 31, 2021 1:01 am ET
by Uninvited gust of wind
Eyes without a face
and the mouth is vertical
because it's an ass
Haiku # 74538, December 30, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Selfies of Assholes
Spooky New Year folks!
Spook influencers are here.
Spooks control this site.
Haiku # 74537, December 30, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Spooking the Spooks of Since 1945
when we let it go
do we become heisenburg
youre damn right...glare
Haiku # 74536, December 30, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by silver vhs of no woman no cry
theres a point where we
no longer give a fuckcause
life fucked us over
Haiku # 74535, December 30, 2021 1:49 pm ET
by vhs
Man bun smoking pot
has this amazing idea:
Princess Leia buns.

... On men!
Haiku # 74534, December 30, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Still wears red flannel shirt. of And suspenders. Brah.
Just say it: "Fuck Woke".
Over before it began...
Wake up and "fuck Woke".
Haiku # 74533, December 29, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Socially-aware Activist of Marxist Minstrel Show.
Hitler Caradine
Epstein Monroe (Mortenson)
Santa Claus and You.
Haiku # 74531, December 29, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Twat waffle. of With strawberries.
No. The funniest
thing YOU could do is to die
while singing Noel.
Haiku # 74530, December 29, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Late Christmas. of Fart Brained Idiots
No. The funniest
Is to want to kill yourself
But then not do it.
Haiku # 74529, December 29, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Massive Fail of Hakuicide
The funniest thing
anyone could ever do
is to kill themselves.
Haiku # 74528, December 29, 2021 9:53 am ET
by You know it's true!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyymen!
Haiku # 74527, December 28, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Convert
**Ding dong!**

Ma'am, do you have a
few moments to discuss Tom
Bosley's huge penis?

Brother Fonz and I
would like to share our love of
His penis with you.
Haiku # 74526, December 28, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Church MEMBERship includes a leather jacket at 25% off retail price. of And $300 off penis enlargement surgery at most plastic surgery clinics.
Let us contemplate
the great mystery that is
Tom Bosley's penis.
Haiku # 74525, December 28, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by Heeeyyyyyyy!
The Bozzley Nozzle
Hosing down Marion Ross

That's testosterone.
Haiku # 74524, December 28, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by Skakin Graves of Boneyard
Wait a minute now...
Tom Bosley's schlong's a cold?! That's...
nothing to sneeze at.
Haiku # 74522, December 28, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by Better get some extra tissues.
Go tell Doug Kuzma
That it's just a common cold
He might disagree
Haiku # 74521, December 28, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Of course he wouldn't tell you that because he ain't saying much right now
Omicron is BAD.
Makes you sneeze and runny nose.
Almost like a COLD.
Haiku # 74519, December 27, 2021 8:47 pm ET
by So Please Triple Mask, Cower In Your Apartment And Be Neurotic
Let's be Earth friendly
Reuse your old calendar
for your bathroom tasks
Haiku # 74518, December 27, 2021 2:49 pm ET
by Almost at the end of another shitty year
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >