Laugh your way through life
People will think you’re crazy
You’ll have the last laugh

my new elixir
will be called placebo forte
and cost a bomb

“I don’t see Alice.”
I lied to Sam the Butcher
Then gave her the meat

Limp demographic
They followed the trail to here
You know who you are

Dumb-ass new drug names:
Abilify. Somnigu.
Sound fucking stupid.

Go ahead, ask me
Ask me if I care about
Snuffleupagus

Hippodrome Horse Course
A horse is a horse (of course)
Neighsayers eat hay

Father, forgive me
I ate the zookeeper whole
and shat out his shoes

That Seth is creepy
Are you a New Age Weirdo?
Change the channel, man

Re: your proposal
When you got down on one knee
I saw your bald spot

Higher criticism:
I know what you want to do...
But you gonna choke

Hippo can't wank it
Because he doesn't have hands
He needs to make friends

Catholic hippo
feeling a little bit blue
'cuz he can't wank it

Hippopotamus
Great changes are occuring
Saul is closing

beautiful is word 
not describing most ladies
but those hippos though

i can't write badly
prized literature follows:
suck my dick and balls

I asked you something
I asked you to marry me
What is your reply?

Have you ever watched
pachyderm-octopus porn
besides in Japan?

well i fucked that up
aberrant apostrophe
irks the pedantic

Snuffalupagus
raped Tom Bosley's tight asshole
and not one soul cared.

pickled octopus
eye's the fisherman's cute wife
and wants to eat out

Tom Bosley's hemorrhoids
Aged in a dark cave. Deep Fried.
Not unlike pork rinds.

Annoying bird chirps
Incoming pigeon splat load
Cassowary....... Help!!!

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XEvil Net

What do they dream of,
those silly cephalopods?
Jap girls and burgers?

Undersea grow op
They’re smoking funny seaweed
Baked cephalopods

Don't get snappy, dear
Just a misunderstanding
Thought it aged like cheese

I mean PAST New Years.
A long fucking time ago.
Parties in college.

You do plan ahead
What about Arbor Day, Darth?
Free Wood Giveaway?

Mixed my spooge with rum.
Filled a "Super Soaker" gun.
Free "shots" on New Years.

Balls swing to and fro,
pendular, hairy, and moist.
Find the frequency.

You'll never forget
that rollercoaster handjob
and neither will I

Dogs ate the cat's puke.
In fact they fought over it.
That's one proud feline.

MIT Chem 1 exam question:
Calculate the number of fart molecules adsorbed onto your toothbrush bristles the morning after your uncle Phineas stayed over, assuming (1) he made his famous jalepeno chili cheese burgers and (2) first order reaction kinetics. The Henry's Law constant for methane is 0.0014 M/atm and the percent methane in uncle Phineas' farts is 8.32%. Ignore other gases. List any other assumptions you need to make in order to perform the calculations. Blowjobs or cocaine will also be accepted for credit on this question.

You need a blowjob
from a sexy octopus.
Stay away from squids.

Thought twat fought brought snot.
Bring sling string my ding-a-ling.
12(-299.6)-0-3(24.4)=-3668.4 kJ
Spontaneous humpabillity factor.
K-Tel Hits of the 70s!

The fart molecules
caught in your toothbrush moustache
Gesundheit, assholes!

Misdiagnosis
It wasn’t sleep apnea
Just dick in the mouth

This "place" feels awkward.
I wish I never found it.
Each time my soul's raped.

Cast iron cooking
Pa's astounding morning wood
Prairie Memories

Jeff Epstein's Mother
wouldn't have written a note
No excuses, Perv!

The testicle twins
Christened Gnip and Gnop
Pocket ping pong champs

I don't have any
Heard tell of a vagina
that was named Boss Hog

Welcome Back Kotter
Little House on the Prairie
The Bob Newhart Show

Should one name their balls?
Lots of options to choose from
Donny and Marie?

Jojo you are off.
It's five-seven-five or walk.
We aint play around.

Death arrives
And Death leaves,
With an audible silence.

Opened up this can
Of worms and wiggly snakes
Please pee on my breasts

My white-ass mother
Placed me on her little knee
Big Black Penises

Wrong won! Bang big gong!
White wong-ring bang fat hung gong.
Right wing wrong gang win!