Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71025 Haikus later...

My white-ass mother
Placed me on her little knee
Big Black Penises
Haiku # 70474, April 19, 2021 4:17 pm ET
by Sleitch of hchx
I kissed your boyfriend
He didn't even stop me
I guess he's mine now
Haiku # 70473, April 19, 2021 4:15 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Wrong won! Bang big gong!
White wong-ring bang fat hung gong.
Right wing wrong gang win!
Haiku # 70472, April 19, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Chinee Dr. Seuss of Twing-touster
Wing holding left wang.
Wright holding wrong wong (white ring)
Wrong white-wing ring gong!
Haiku # 70471, April 19, 2021 3:20 pm ET
by Gong Li of Chinese Fire-drill
Gum holding wing on
Just the Wright amount of wrong
2 brothers get high
Haiku # 70470, April 19, 2021 11:09 am ET
by OG Cheech and Chong of High AF up in Smoke
Wright brother's first flight
Nineteen of three. First mars flight
Twenty twenty one
Haiku # 70469, April 19, 2021 9:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ingenuity
historic first flight on Mars
Lifting my spirits too
Haiku # 70468, April 19, 2021 9:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wait...that old hippie
Were you looking in mirror
when you wrote that one?
Haiku # 70467, April 18, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by R. Your Balls of Named Cheech and Chong?
Wait...that old hippie
We’re you looking in mirror
when you wrote that one?
Haiku # 70466, April 18, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by R. Your Balls of Named Cheech and Chong?
Darth, you sexy thing
I bet you could fly the plane
with your genitals
Haiku # 70465, April 18, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Aviatrix of Headed for the cockpit
Let's go for pizza.
Sao Paulo is amazing.
So my jet or yours?
Haiku # 70464, April 18, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Old Italian grandma immigrants. of Best pizza in the world!!!
Are you at Arby’s?
They serve sweaty roast beef there
Dabbed with thick white sauce
Haiku # 70463, April 18, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by I. Wish of You would take me to lunch (but somewhere nice)
Old hippie here now.
Testes falling out his shorts.
Genital pride day?!?
Haiku # 70462, April 18, 2021 8:29 pm ET
by Why can't it be hottie 19 yo or something?! of God... life.
Coffee shop lezbos.
Shorts expose their vaginas.
Looks like raw bacon.
Haiku # 70461, April 18, 2021 8:16 pm ET
by Think I'll skip breakfast this morning. of Just a coffee, thanks.
I read the playbill
Look here, it says Jac-Vac scene
Darth, You're such a ham!
Haiku # 70460, April 18, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by Patron of the arts of Off Off Off Off Broadway
Not so fast, poet
I didn't get the shot yet
Should have saved your load
Haiku # 70459, April 18, 2021 5:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Eyes on You
I work at Pfizer.
Jacked off in the vaccine batch.
High cooz in your head.
Haiku # 70458, April 18, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Now you're infected!
Vaccines make you gay.
I mean, you're already gay.
But now you're more gay.
Haiku # 70457, April 18, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Pray the Gay Away!
Don't wait! Vaccinate!
Don't wanna be Covid bait
Stay in healthy state
Haiku # 70456, April 18, 2021 5:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Noticing You
Have someone bumped off
Coming soon to Amazon
2-Day Fulfillment
Haiku # 70455, April 17, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by P. Ann O’Ire of Irish Mafia
Soccer or football....
No matter what you might call it...
Still boring as hell
Haiku # 70454, April 17, 2021 1:41 pm ET
by Orange slices at half-time
Haiku Convention
Match the face with the poems
Yes, Darth, there’s free cheese
Haiku # 70453, April 16, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by Hello my name is of No Tell Hotel
I took a dump there
Wiped my ass with sharp pine cones
Then I soldiered on
Haiku # 70452, April 16, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by I. M. Chafed of Trailing Toilet Paper
Appalachian trail
Appalachian trail. Apple
ate shin chair. Adam.
Haiku # 70451, April 16, 2021 2:33 pm ET
by Not Adam of Home
Collective malaise
Thin veneer of decorum
Divided by tech
Haiku # 70450, April 16, 2021 2:32 pm ET
by Not Adam of Home
Scrub a dub a doo
Lift the brown stains of your poo
Toilet looks like new
Haiku # 70449, April 15, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Tidy Azmodius of Latrine
Come to me demons
I summon thee with haiku
Now clean my toilet
Haiku # 70448, April 15, 2021 8:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Only Dart-filth now...
This site has become boring
Since it got new look
Haiku # 70447, April 15, 2021 8:00 am ET
by Bored Visitor
To summon demons
Pick seventeen syllables
We'll call it haiku
Haiku # 70446, April 14, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Author of Demons for Dummies
Hey, what about me?
Jeffrey wants in on it too.
I'll bring whipping cream
Haiku # 70445, April 14, 2021 9:02 pm ET
by Mangina Garten of Hamptons
I’d get in on that
There’d be lots of good weed first
Nice dinner after
Haiku # 70444, April 14, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Author of Martha, Snoop and Me
Please imagine this
Martha and Snoop get it on
No need to thank me
Haiku # 70443, April 14, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper
A donut filled with
McKenzie Phillips’ zit puss
and Schneider's semen
Haiku # 70442, April 14, 2021 6:50 am ET
by From the makers of Tom Bosley’s Warm Load Eggwich
My night with Martha
The way she gripped my stiff rod
Like a hot glue gun
Haiku # 70441, April 14, 2021 5:39 am ET
by Fucked hard by Martha Stewart of Connecticut, usa
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Haiku # 70440, April 14, 2021 5:31 am ET
by Heatherbrity of Russia
Hung like a dead horse.
Rotten and full of maggots.
And this gets you hot.
Haiku # 70439, April 14, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Rotten HUNGarian sausage. of Funtcart
Good that it was huge.
Only 3 inches poked out
from under that gut.
Haiku # 70438, April 14, 2021 3:57 am ET
by you can have it sister
Kicking a dead horse?
Tom Bosley was hung like one
Thanks for your support.
Haiku # 70437, April 13, 2021 11:03 pm ET
by Speaking of support, Tom Bosley had a massive jock strap.
You are reading words
Here are some more words to read
And now...no more words
Haiku # 70436, April 13, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
QGWCYA2V2Q43WHCWXF www.google.com Where are you located ? I want to come to you one of these days
Haiku # 70435, April 13, 2021 12:01 am ET
by QGWCYA2V2Q43WHCWXF www.web.de of a point or extent in space
Seeking to purchase
Jewel encrusted dildo
due to husband’s death
Haiku # 70434, April 12, 2021 3:56 am ET
by B. Cause of I miss that old dildo
For future poems
Odes on belching in public?
Farting in church pews?
Haiku # 70433, April 11, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by Your smelly friend
They don't wipe it off.
Haiku # 70432, April 11, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just how do you know
when you come across a real
genuine poet?
Haiku # 70431, April 11, 2021 3:41 am ET
by Emily Dickingsome of My room
Man at the checkout
“Can you scan this salami?”
“I came in with it!!”
Haiku # 70429, April 11, 2021 12:40 am ET
by Eyewitness of He wasn’t shoplifting
Fun gondola ride
Alimentary Canal
Shit, there’s the anus
Haiku # 70428, April 11, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Name withheld of Tourist Trap
Just like that, he's back
Sticky trail in the cheese aisle
Galloping Gourmet
Haiku # 70427, April 10, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by Fan of Gentle Darth of Not at King Soopers loaded for bear
Sentient organs
of dead B-actors remain
alive through dark arts.

Blood replenishing
Red Cross inappropriate
misappropriate.

Grafted to a mouse.
Mister Garrison's penis
craves cheese fromunda.

Fromage fromunda
in Whole Foods deli section.
Lost my train of thought.

Kicking that dead horse.
Methinks Tom Bosley's penis
has jumped the great white.
Haiku # 70426, April 10, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by Carolina Reapers rubbed on your boner. of Might be fun. Give it a try.
What the hell is this?
Where the heck did it come from?
How did it happen?
Haiku # 70425, April 10, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Tom Bosley's penis and aquarium cleaning service.
All white girls agree.
Tyrone, please pull up your pants.
We see your skid marks.
Haiku # 70423, April 9, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by How did that pants half down shit ever become a fad?! of Are they still doing that?
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