You seen Happiness?
The comedy by Todd Slondz?
The ending's perfect.
Always ask yourself,
"Have I kissed my dog today?"
If not, then you should.
by Brutal breakups, abusive relationships, and a pedophile husband. of What more could you ask for in a comedy?!
The first line has five
The second line has seven
Insufficient
by Ivica of Canada
Bathroom fishing trip
Toilet stocked with brown brook trout
Now we sit and wait
by Haiku Poet of Gone Fishing
Dick jokes and pill spam
The lifeblood of bad haiku
Really a sad place.
by Now I rember why I don't visit anymore
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.
Throw down the blue pills
Take matters in your own hands
It’s not that hard, man
by Alfred Lord Tendinitis of Vaseline aisle
You'll live forever.
Eat Viagra like candy.
Wear loose fitting shorts.
by Jerry's attic. of Geriatric.
Inspiration Point
And there's nothing one can say
Like, Fonz, I'm pregnant
by Joanie of Sat on it
inspiration fails
and there's nothing one can say
like catching covid
by ash
Fukushima Glow
There you stand bathed in moonlight
Cause meltdown in pants
by Kim Ono of Open
Beauregard lets wind
Junior Samples hoists his pants
B R 5 4 9
by Hee Haw Haiku Honey of Kornfield
Clem! Clem they done it.
They made the Bad Haiku WORSE.
Lord, I'm jest pure skairt.
by Jethro McCoy of CORNPONE GULCH
Please buy Chinese watch:
Best quality Fuxiang gold
Can pay with Visa
by Guangshi Industrial Investment of RIP OFF ONLINE
shun faux boner pills
their promise does not stand up
and neither will yours
by ash
Marriage Proposal
Rent a tux for your penis
Snapping turtle bride.
by I mean one of those giant fucking aligator snapping turtles. of We're not fucking around here!
Geometric joy.
precise lines scar paper sheet.
thanks, paper shredder.
by Doug Jiro of San Francisco
Business Proposal
Monthly Subscription Boxes
Penis Dress-Up Clothes
by Vera Wang
Medicine cabinet
There’s an old sticker inside
And it says Slime Time
by Your friend of Living in a dump
He plugged the toilet
Trying to flush the haikus
When the fuzz showed up
by Legends of Bad Haiku of Sunday Edition
Well it all depends
Just how petit is Mortimer?
Call you Mort for short?
by Oscar Knight of Holding (ticket) stub
I've always said that
a little death never killed
anyone, you know.
by I can live with a little death. of Adult theater, Skid Row
Your French is on point
Pe-nez translates lower nose
Do you feel a sneeze?
by Chaton D’etoile
I’ve never seen it
None of the Ghostbusters films
Do you find that odd?
by Who you gonna call?
The overloaded
Ecto-Containment System
'cause Slimer jacked off
released a million
angry but satisfied ghouls
into the sewers.
by Ghostbusters IV -- The Nutting of Slimer
I crave heirloom beef.
Oh, to dine on cows of yore.
It be mine, not yours.
by What do you call gay ghost blood? of Homogoblin hemoglobin. Slimer's got a boner!
When Jesus returned
did his friends call him "The Rez"
or was it just "brah".?
by And did they have Easter ham? of and THC trippy colored eggs?
You don't need ass wipe!
Spray away with a bidet.
Save the planet, dude.
by Seriously! of This is no joke.
Rooster are crowing.
That means my cock is awake.
The crows are roosting.
by Water baloons filled with pig semen. of 10 story drop on Pfizer CEO. Good story.
Rez fez Pez lez nez.
E-wreck-shun fun in the sun.
My bronze tanned boner.
by I think nez is French hor nose. of I was right!
I wouldn't mind it
If they'd just sell LSD
And not hardon pills.
by Tie dye erections of Eastet egg rez-erection
They won't sell it here
Poets live in poverty
Can't afford ass wipe
by Mittens Brown of No, I am not a cat
www.themindmap.co.uk
by themindmap of uk
Stupid turd-worlders
Selling Levitra on here
By pressing buttons
by Russians and Ukrainians too
compressed queef vapors.
one hundrend twelve atmospheres.
mix up at dentist's.
by nothing to laugh about
My previous haiku
has not enough vaginas,
but neither does this one.
by Cloned sex slaves, partially lobotomized, servile and horny, at prices you can afford! of Buy one, get one free!
Leave your underwear
Where everyone can see them
The stains of glory.
by Jackson Pollock
21 to drink.
Should be the same for cell phones.
13 to get high.
by Godzilla for President of Kong can sit in the back of the bus.
my previous haiku
has not enough syllables
so this has one extra
by ash of making it up as i go
My old elixir
is called placenta farte
Each sip's a partay.
by Anonymous pooet
Occupy your time
You silly noodle slurpers
Brad Pitts' under arms
by Pitts' pits of You are silly. Noodles aren't. Just to clarify. Like ghee butter.
Home grown is the best
Lest you've lost your zest for life
Strife of parasites
by Parachute landing sites of Elderly people dropped all over the city from 3 miles up, Chinese bomber planes.
When I visit here
Hulk Hogan spews in my face
Whole wheat date muffins
by Always plural of Puffin rural
Laugh your way through life
People will think you’re crazy
You’ll have the last laugh
by Dean of Students of Laughing Academy
my new elixir
will be called placebo forte
and cost a bomb
by ash
“I don’t see Alice.”
I lied to Sam the Butcher
Then gave her the meat
by A different butcher of Brady Bunch Lost Episodes
Limp demographic
They followed the trail to here
You know who you are
by Stiff Competition of if you're limp we won't hold it against you
Dumb-ass new drug names:
Abilify. Somnigu.
Sound fucking stupid.
by pharmaceutical commissions of CRIMES
Go ahead, ask me
Ask me if I care about
Snuffleupagus
by The Count (puppet version of Darth) of Philippines Educational Television
Hippodrome Horse Course
A horse is a horse (of course)
Neighsayers eat hay
by Mysterio of Philly
Father, forgive me
I ate the zookeeper whole
and shat out his shoes
by Take 2 Hail Marys and call me in the morning of Hippodrome
