He plugged the toilet
Trying to flush the haikus
When the fuzz showed up
by Legends of Bad Haiku of Sunday Edition
Well it all depends
Just how petit is Mortimer?
Call you Mort for short?
by Oscar Knight of Holding (ticket) stub
I've always said that
a little death never killed
anyone, you know.
by I can live with a little death. of Adult theater, Skid Row
Your French is on point
Pe-nez translates lower nose
Do you feel a sneeze?
by Chaton D’etoile
I’ve never seen it
None of the Ghostbusters films
Do you find that odd?
by Who you gonna call?
The overloaded
Ecto-Containment System
'cause Slimer jacked off
released a million
angry but satisfied ghouls
into the sewers.
by Ghostbusters IV -- The Nutting of Slimer
I crave heirloom beef.
Oh, to dine on cows of yore.
It be mine, not yours.
by What do you call gay ghost blood? of Homogoblin hemoglobin. Slimer's got a boner!
When Jesus returned
did his friends call him "The Rez"
or was it just "brah".?
by And did they have Easter ham? of and THC trippy colored eggs?
You don't need ass wipe!
Spray away with a bidet.
Save the planet, dude.
by Seriously! of This is no joke.
Rooster are crowing.
That means my cock is awake.
The crows are roosting.
by Water baloons filled with pig semen. of 10 story drop on Pfizer CEO. Good story.
Rez fez Pez lez nez.
E-wreck-shun fun in the sun.
My bronze tanned boner.
by I think nez is French hor nose. of I was right!
I wouldn't mind it
If they'd just sell LSD
And not hardon pills.
by Tie dye erections of Eastet egg rez-erection
They won't sell it here
Poets live in poverty
Can't afford ass wipe
by Mittens Brown of No, I am not a cat
www.themindmap.co.uk
by themindmap of uk
Stupid turd-worlders
Selling Levitra on here
By pressing buttons
by Russians and Ukrainians too
compressed queef vapors.
one hundrend twelve atmospheres.
mix up at dentist's.
by nothing to laugh about
My previous haiku
has not enough vaginas,
but neither does this one.
by Cloned sex slaves, partially lobotomized, servile and horny, at prices you can afford! of Buy one, get one free!
Leave your underwear
Where everyone can see them
The stains of glory.
by Jackson Pollock
21 to drink.
Should be the same for cell phones.
13 to get high.
by Godzilla for President of Kong can sit in the back of the bus.
my previous haiku
has not enough syllables
so this has one extra
by ash of making it up as i go
My old elixir
is called placenta farte
Each sip's a partay.
by Anonymous pooet
Occupy your time
You silly noodle slurpers
Brad Pitts' under arms
by Pitts' pits of You are silly. Noodles aren't. Just to clarify. Like ghee butter.
Home grown is the best
Lest you've lost your zest for life
Strife of parasites
by Parachute landing sites of Elderly people dropped all over the city from 3 miles up, Chinese bomber planes.
When I visit here
Hulk Hogan spews in my face
Whole wheat date muffins
by Always plural of Puffin rural
Laugh your way through life
People will think you’re crazy
You’ll have the last laugh
by Dean of Students of Laughing Academy
my new elixir
will be called placebo forte
and cost a bomb
by ash
“I don’t see Alice.”
I lied to Sam the Butcher
Then gave her the meat
by A different butcher of Brady Bunch Lost Episodes
Limp demographic
They followed the trail to here
You know who you are
by Stiff Competition of if you're limp we won't hold it against you
Dumb-ass new drug names:
Abilify. Somnigu.
Sound fucking stupid.
by pharmaceutical commissions of CRIMES
Go ahead, ask me
Ask me if I care about
Snuffleupagus
by The Count (puppet version of Darth) of Philippines Educational Television
Hippodrome Horse Course
A horse is a horse (of course)
Neighsayers eat hay
by Mysterio of Philly
Father, forgive me
I ate the zookeeper whole
and shat out his shoes
by Take 2 Hail Marys and call me in the morning of Hippodrome
That Seth is creepy
Are you a New Age Weirdo?
Change the channel, man
by Seth is Trash
Re: your proposal
When you got down on one knee
I saw your bald spot
by Runaway Bride to be or not to be of Nunya
Higher criticism:
I know what you want to do...
But you gonna choke
by omnipotent of omniscient
Hippo can't wank it
Because he doesn't have hands
He needs to make friends
by Anonymous Poet
Catholic hippo
feeling a little bit blue
'cuz he can't wank it
by wank-n-tug of bumbleshire
Hippopotamus
Great changes are occuring
Saul is closing
by Anonymous Poet of sltx
beautiful is word
not describing most ladies
but those hippos though
by zoophile of uown dnder
i can't write badly
prized literature follows:
suck my dick and balls
by c--n of sltx
I asked you something
I asked you to marry me
What is your reply?
by Mr. Nuts and Balls of Factory
Have you ever watched
pachyderm-octopus porn
besides in Japan?
by nipping nippers
well i fucked that up
aberrant apostrophe
irks the pedantic
by ash
Snuffalupagus
raped Tom Bosley's tight asshole
and not one soul cared.
by Pachyderm sperm!
pickled octopus
eye's the fisherman's cute wife
and wants to eat out
by ash
Tom Bosley's hemorrhoids
Aged in a dark cave. Deep Fried.
Not unlike pork rinds.
by Mrs. C of Cunt
Annoying bird chirps
Incoming pigeon splat load
Cassowary....... Help!!!
by Bird Avoider
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by Heatherbrity of Russia
What do they dream of,
those silly cephalopods?
Jap girls and burgers?
by Because why not?
Undersea grow op
They’re smoking funny seaweed
Baked cephalopods
by Electric eel of Spying
