Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 319 Days and 76715 Haiku later...

Please buy Chinese watch:
Best quality Fuxiang gold
Can pay with Visa
Haiku # 70567, April 27, 2021 6:20 pm ET
by Guangshi Industrial Investment of RIP OFF ONLINE
shun faux boner pills
their promise does not stand up
and neither will yours
Haiku # 70565, April 27, 2021 8:40 am ET
by ash
Marriage Proposal
Rent a tux for your penis
Snapping turtle bride.
Haiku # 70564, April 27, 2021 2:30 am ET
by I mean one of those giant fucking aligator snapping turtles. of We're not fucking around here!
Geometric joy.
precise lines scar paper sheet.
thanks, paper shredder.
Haiku # 70563, April 27, 2021 2:13 am ET
by Doug Jiro of San Francisco
Business Proposal
Monthly Subscription Boxes
Penis Dress-Up Clothes
Haiku # 70560, April 26, 2021 2:35 am ET
by Vera Wang
Medicine cabinet
There’s an old sticker inside
And it says Slime Time
Haiku # 70559, April 26, 2021 2:29 am ET
by Your friend of Living in a dump
He plugged the toilet
Trying to flush the haikus
When the fuzz showed up
Haiku # 70558, April 26, 2021 12:37 am ET
by Legends of Bad Haiku of Sunday Edition
Well it all depends
Just how petit is Mortimer?
Call you Mort for short?
Haiku # 70557, April 25, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by Oscar Knight of Holding (ticket) stub
I've always said that
a little death never killed
anyone, you know.
Haiku # 70556, April 25, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by I can live with a little death. of Adult theater, Skid Row
Your French is on point
Pe-nez translates lower nose
Do you feel a sneeze?
Haiku # 70555, April 25, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by Chaton D’etoile
I’ve never seen it
None of the Ghostbusters films
Do you find that odd?
Haiku # 70554, April 25, 2021 8:48 pm ET
by Who you gonna call?
The overloaded
Ecto-Containment System
'cause Slimer jacked off

released a million
angry but satisfied ghouls
into the sewers.
Haiku # 70553, April 25, 2021 7:18 pm ET
by Ghostbusters IV -- The Nutting of Slimer
I crave heirloom beef.
Oh, to dine on cows of yore.
It be mine, not yours.
Haiku # 70552, April 25, 2021 7:10 pm ET
by What do you call gay ghost blood? of Homogoblin hemoglobin. Slimer's got a boner!
When Jesus returned
did his friends call him "The Rez"
or was it just "brah".?
Haiku # 70551, April 25, 2021 7:06 pm ET
by And did they have Easter ham? of and THC trippy colored eggs?
You don't need ass wipe!
Spray away with a bidet.
Save the planet, dude.
Haiku # 70550, April 25, 2021 4:30 pm ET
by Seriously! of This is no joke.
Rooster are crowing.
That means my cock is awake.
The crows are roosting.
Haiku # 70549, April 25, 2021 4:24 pm ET
by Water baloons filled with pig semen. of 10 story drop on Pfizer CEO. Good story.
Rez fez Pez lez nez.
E-wreck-shun fun in the sun.
My bronze tanned boner.
Haiku # 70548, April 25, 2021 4:17 pm ET
by I think nez is French hor nose. of I was right!
I wouldn't mind it
If they'd just sell LSD
And not hardon pills.
Haiku # 70547, April 25, 2021 4:11 pm ET
by Tie dye erections of Eastet egg rez-erection
They won't sell it here
Poets live in poverty
Can't afford ass wipe
Haiku # 70546, April 25, 2021 12:45 pm ET
by Mittens Brown of No, I am not a cat
Haiku # 70545, April 25, 2021 7:59 am ET
by themindmap of uk
Stupid turd-worlders
Selling Levitra on here
By pressing buttons
Haiku # 70544, April 25, 2021 7:24 am ET
by Russians and Ukrainians too
compressed queef vapors.
one hundrend twelve atmospheres.
mix up at dentist's.
Haiku # 70541, April 25, 2021 1:26 am ET
by nothing to laugh about
My previous haiku
has not enough vaginas,
but neither does this one.
Haiku # 70540, April 25, 2021 1:21 am ET
by Cloned sex slaves, partially lobotomized, servile and horny, at prices you can afford! of Buy one, get one free!
Leave your underwear
Where everyone can see them
The stains of glory.
Haiku # 70539, April 24, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Jackson Pollock
21 to drink.
Should be the same for cell phones.
13 to get high.
Haiku # 70538, April 24, 2021 8:53 pm ET
by Godzilla for President of Kong can sit in the back of the bus.
my previous haiku
has not enough syllables
so this has one extra
Haiku # 70537, April 24, 2021 8:45 pm ET
by ash of making it up as i go
My old elixir
is called placenta farte
Each sip's a partay.
Haiku # 70536, April 24, 2021 8:45 pm ET
by Anonymous pooet
Occupy your time
You silly noodle slurpers
Brad Pitts' under arms
Haiku # 70535, April 24, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by Pitts' pits of You are silly. Noodles aren't. Just to clarify. Like ghee butter.
Home grown is the best
Lest you've lost your zest for life
Strife of parasites
Haiku # 70534, April 24, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by Parachute landing sites of Elderly people dropped all over the city from 3 miles up, Chinese bomber planes.
When I visit here
Hulk Hogan spews in my face
Whole wheat date muffins
Haiku # 70533, April 24, 2021 8:32 pm ET
by Always plural of Puffin rural
Laugh your way through life
People will think you’re crazy
You’ll have the last laugh
Haiku # 70532, April 24, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Dean of Students of Laughing Academy
my new elixir
will be called placebo forte
and cost a bomb
Haiku # 70531, April 24, 2021 2:46 am ET
by ash
“I don’t see Alice.”
I lied to Sam the Butcher
Then gave her the meat
Haiku # 70530, April 24, 2021 12:21 am ET
by A different butcher of Brady Bunch Lost Episodes
Limp demographic
They followed the trail to here
You know who you are
Haiku # 70527, April 23, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Stiff Competition of if you're limp we won't hold it against you
Dumb-ass new drug names:
Abilify. Somnigu.
Sound fucking stupid.
Haiku # 70524, April 23, 2021 5:22 pm ET
by pharmaceutical commissions of CRIMES
Go ahead, ask me
Ask me if I care about
Haiku # 70522, April 23, 2021 2:38 am ET
by The Count (puppet version of Darth) of Philippines Educational Television
Hippodrome Horse Course
A horse is a horse (of course)
Neighsayers eat hay
Haiku # 70520, April 22, 2021 11:20 pm ET
by Mysterio of Philly
Father, forgive me
I ate the zookeeper whole
and shat out his shoes
Haiku # 70519, April 22, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by Take 2 Hail Marys and call me in the morning of Hippodrome
That Seth is creepy
Are you a New Age Weirdo?
Change the channel, man
Haiku # 70518, April 22, 2021 10:03 pm ET
by Seth is Trash
Re: your proposal
When you got down on one knee
I saw your bald spot
Haiku # 70517, April 22, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by Runaway Bride to be or not to be of Nunya
Higher criticism:
I know what you want to do...
But you gonna choke
Haiku # 70515, April 22, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by omnipotent of omniscient
Hippo can't wank it
Because he doesn't have hands
He needs to make friends
Haiku # 70514, April 22, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Catholic hippo
feeling a little bit blue
'cuz he can't wank it
Haiku # 70513, April 22, 2021 5:57 pm ET
by wank-n-tug of bumbleshire
Great changes are occuring
Saul is closing
Haiku # 70512, April 22, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of sltx
beautiful is word 
not describing most ladies
but those hippos though
Haiku # 70511, April 22, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by zoophile of uown dnder
i can't write badly
prized literature follows:
suck my dick and balls
Haiku # 70510, April 22, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by c--n of sltx
I asked you something
I asked you to marry me
What is your reply?
Haiku # 70509, April 22, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Mr. Nuts and Balls of Factory
Have you ever watched
pachyderm-octopus porn
besides in Japan?
Haiku # 70507, April 22, 2021 9:20 am ET
by nipping nippers
well i fucked that up
aberrant apostrophe
irks the pedantic
Haiku # 70506, April 22, 2021 9:09 am ET
by ash
raped Tom Bosley's tight asshole
and not one soul cared.
Haiku # 70505, April 22, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Pachyderm sperm!
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