Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 148 Days and 70424 Haikus later...

Babies will eat you
They can never be trusted
Cook you like bacon
Haiku # 70314, March 24, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Margaret Thatcher
Legend of Limpdick
A popsicle stick and tape
made it possible
Haiku # 70313, March 22, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Wank E. Ingenuity of Patent Pending
But you cannot change
that which is nonexistant.
Feel the breeze flow through.
Haiku # 70312, March 22, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Cool, dry balls
The invitation
It's always extended, Ma'am
The full 12 inches
Haiku # 70311, March 22, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Every guy in here's penis of Headed for the door
The ever changing
Never seems to change at all
Like your underwear
Haiku # 70310, March 22, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Thought it were Cheryl
But it were Farah Fawcett
On that old poster
Haiku # 70309, March 22, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by ETERNAL of TMPORARY
Russian recipes
How to cook rats or people
Feed your family

Eat your family
Grandma was just delicious
Fuck off Babooshka
Haiku # 70308, March 21, 2021 9:38 pm ET
by Vladimir Pooten
I'm Cheryl's left tit
In that 70s poster
Nice to meet you (wet)
Haiku # 70307, March 21, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Mammary Whammery of DISCO
Strangled Cock Found Dead
Alien Hand Syndrome Blamed
Cops Finger Suspect
Haiku # 70306, March 21, 2021 3:48 pm ET
by Farm Report of Manure Bank/ Cannabis Emporium
An eternal stream
You've heard the men from Old Minsk
have the biggest dinsks
Haiku # 70305, March 21, 2021 8:08 am ET
by Foot Long of Belarus
There is this one glitch
Our bottled water is piss
May contain some pulp
Haiku # 70304, March 21, 2021 7:46 am ET
by Jugs Malone of Long Haul Trucker
Return, O Big Wave
Tsunami of Syllables
Where are you drowned rats?
Haiku # 70302, March 21, 2021 5:15 am ET
by Lone Wolf of Under Old Willow
The question remains
Has Bad Haiku jumped the shark?
You all sure clammed up
Haiku # 70301, March 21, 2021 2:36 am ET
by Geoduck of Sticking out
This is what drew Mork
to visit our crude planet
(And Laverne's wet snatch)
Haiku # 70300, March 21, 2021 2:07 am ET
by Your TV Guide of Couch
Look under the fez
You won't see small potatoes
Happy Days are here
Haiku # 70299, March 21, 2021 2:03 am ET
by Tom B. of Tooting my own horn (literally)
Tom Bosley’s Fez
covering his erect shaft
Extra Large Fez
Haiku # 70298, March 20, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Tom Bosley’s Boastful Ghoul of Limbo
Patrick Swayzee. Ghost.
Massaging pottery clay
but this time it’s cheese
Haiku # 70297, March 20, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Stinky Limberger of Fromunda the bridge
New TV Dinner
In the frozen foods section
Hungry Cannibal
Haiku # 70296, March 20, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Clik Clak fresh balls of Oysters Rockefeller
Cassowary Bird
In a Cassowary World
Cassowary Girl
Haiku # 70295, March 20, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird of You Fucking want one?
Clownworld needs its verse
Hence, our stunning haiku verse
Like a rotting corpse
Haiku # 70294, March 20, 2021 9:39 am ET
by Happy Clown Face of Doom
Look at this poster
Stop struggling to get it up
It’s Farrah Fawcett
Haiku # 70293, March 20, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Stud Finder of Hole in the wall
Your haiku are shit
But that's the whole point of it
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70292, March 19, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Sarah Jessica Parker
The cherry blossoms are here again
but I'm dying of Covid
Isn't life shit?
Haiku # 70291, March 19, 2021 11:16 am ET
by Harry Hashimoto of Kyoto
Where is sky
I'm searching every day
On the eath
Haiku # 70290, March 19, 2021 3:12 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of # Haiku Art # (Daily Haiku Magazine) Otteri, Chennai
Please do NOT "stay safe".
Rather remain dangerous.
Infectious and free.
Haiku # 70289, March 18, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Alien Messiah
The China virus:
it's Marxism in the West
For herd-animals.
Haiku # 70287, March 18, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Stay Safe of Stay Healthy
I won't make you wait.
Some people call it Kung Flu.
'Cause it packs a punch.
Haiku # 70286, March 18, 2021 10:20 am ET
by Biowarfare Division of PPRC of Winnie The Pooh's Home.
Someone light a match
Seventeen syllable fart
Three lines of skidmarks
Haiku # 70285, March 17, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Seventeen syllable of Stain
Some people call it
Wait....wait for it.....wait for it
THE CHINA VIRUS
Haiku # 70284, March 16, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Asshole of Florida Orange
Postcard from a fart
Wish you were here! See ya soon!
Delayed in Transit
Haiku # 70283, March 16, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Lower Intestine (Journey of Consitpation) of Defecation Station
Bad Haiku Poet
Witness Protection Program
You know who you are
Haiku # 70282, March 16, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Know you of By the smell
Have you seen Sleitchen?
I searched everywhere for him
Tell him it's Cyan
Haiku # 70281, March 16, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Cyan of sltx
I miss his fat cheeks
And I don't mean on his face
I miss my thicc king
Haiku # 70280, March 16, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Cyan of sltx
What fuckery's this.
Free at the VD clinic.
Christ, this ain't Russia!
Haiku # 70278, March 16, 2021 11:43 am ET
by Effing commie capitalists!
You don't want to suck.
But you want the ten dollars.
Make up your damn mind!
Haiku # 70276, March 15, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Goddamn dirty whores.
Container garden
Under your balls....succulents!
No one wants to suck
Haiku # 70275, March 15, 2021 9:21 am ET
by Terry Mulcher of Cielo Drive
A flower tattoo
encroaching on your pubis
improves not the smell.
Haiku # 70274, March 15, 2021 8:21 am ET
by
drink your big black cow
and get outta here, you know
bands named for dildoes
Haiku # 70273, March 15, 2021 3:58 am ET
by vhs of steely dan, man
You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers
Haiku # 70272, March 14, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Things are looking up of Arnold's Restaurant
You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers
Haiku # 70271, March 14, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by Things are looking up of Arnold's Restaurant
Refill all floats, Don.
How much vile doo i have!
"Shit Happens" on tie-dye.

Coffee ice cream float.
Made with original Coke.
The one with cocaine.

It will wake you up.
Peruvian dessert freeze.
Häagen-Dazs brain blast!
Haiku # 70270, March 14, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Refill your Free Will. of It's free on Mondays!
we will all float on
how much evil do i have
what happens when i die?
Haiku # 70269, March 14, 2021 11:18 am ET
by vhs
What’s your favourite food?
I guarantee we have it!!
Buy End Times Buckets!!
Haiku # 70268, March 14, 2021 7:01 am ET
by Jim Bakker of Awaiting your payment
Stop wasting money
Buying that shitty mall weed
Buy End Times Buckets!!
Haiku # 70267, March 14, 2021 4:54 am ET
by Your Armageddon Buffet of And Portable Latrine
My God, pot's legal.
And you all still can't behave.
What a sad sad state.

I'd pay good money
to get each one of you high
as Cheech and Chong.

Maybe then you'd smile.
Sad little internet trolls.
Leave your mom's basement!
Haiku # 70266, March 14, 2021 1:12 am ET
by And I don't mean Arkansas state. I mean your existence! of Move to Oregon, it's all legal there!
i dont like it when
people on here call me on crap
so im glad i do

forget this place. my
mind is occupied by more
important ideas

like bitching on twitter
Haiku # 70265, March 14, 2021 12:50 am ET
by vhs
given how i take
some things way too personal
i might not miss you
Haiku # 70264, March 14, 2021 12:40 am ET
by vhs
you know i forget
this place exists, you may
die
and i won't know it
Haiku # 70263, March 14, 2021 12:39 am ET
by vhs
...you forgot to say
pretty please. and please i aint
that pretty, hunny...
Haiku # 70262, March 14, 2021 12:33 am ET
by vhs
VHS eats shit
Always has and always will
I hate kissing you
Haiku # 70261, March 14, 2021 12:26 am ET
by But I will because you pay me in French fry grease
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